LyricMeaning

Air Hostess
Kunt And The Gang

I was on board my flight with EasyJet
It was really cheap
I'd had a skinful at the airport
And I thought I'd go to sleep
But then I saw the stewardess
Walking down the aisle
She was in full uniform
And wearing a false smile

That pretendment of enjoyment
Stirred something in my head
It reminded me of all the girls
I'd ever got in bed
Her skin was bright orange
And her hair was bleached blonde
But the moment that I saw her
I knew we had a bond

Air hostess, I confess
I'm feeling a little stressed
Air hostess, I profess
Won't you help me lose my mess?
All it takes is a shake
Of your digits round my snake
Failing that I'll have a coffee
And a dried-up piece of cake

And then the bloke beside me woke
And he had halitosis
So I wedged my cock into a sock
To prevent deep-vein thrombosis
And then the stewardess appeared
With our airline meal
I wish she'd drop her trolleys
And give my cock a feel

I'm not a member of the mile high club
But I don't think wanks apply
So I thought some chat up lines
Might be worth a try
I made a joke about plain crisps
And then undid my fly
And my impression of an elephant
Seemed to catch her eye

Air hostess, I confess
I'm feeling a little stressed
Air hostess, I profess
Won't you help me lose my mess?
All it takes is a shake
Of your digits round my snake
Failing that I'll have a coffee
And a dried-up piece of cake

Air hostess, I confess
I'm feeling a little stressed
Air hostess, I profess
Won't you help me lose my mess?
It's not a joke, I'd be stoked
If I could give your chuff a poke
Failing that, I'll have some shrink-wrapped nuts
And a tiny can of Coke


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Lyrics by Kunt And The Gang

  A Cup of Tea   A Semi-on With a Drop of Pre-cum   All I Want For Christmas Is You (To Bring Me Off)   Arranged Bride   Back and Forth   Carol Vorderman   Chips or Tits   Come On Cliff, Admit You're Queer   Dee (The Oldest Groupie)   Detox My Cock   Doctor Fox   Ex-Girlfriend   Feminine Itch   Fred and Rose   Fucksticks   Gentleman's Wash   Have A Wank   I Shit My Pants   I'm Gonna Lick You Out   I've Had My Last Wank For England   If You Don't Like This Song You're A Fucking Cunt   Jesus (Baby With a Beard)   Just Can't Get Enough   Kunt Comfort   Let's Go Commando   Little Kunt's Song (Flabby Cunt Lips)   Make Sure That She's Rank   Men With Beards (What Are They Hiding?)   My Mum Found My Wank Mags   One Last Wank And One Last Cry   Perverts on the Internet   Princess Di (I'll Wank And I Will Cry)   Pubes   Santa's Sack   Shaven Haven   Sit Down Wee   Soapy Tit Wank   The Birds and the Bees   The Bloke Up The Garage Fucked a Sheep   The Illegal Download Song   The Two Finger Test   The Worst Thing In The World   This Christmas   Use My Arse As A Cunt   Wank the Dog   Wanking Over a Pornographic Polaroid of an Ex-Girl...   You're a Pervert   Young Girl

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