Men With Beards (What Are They Hiding?)
Kunt And The Gang

Men with beards, what are they hiding?nCould I handle the truth if they chose me to confide in?nOr would my dead body be found down a railway sidingnWhere I'd been murdered by a man with a beardnWhere I'd been murdered by a man with a beardnnYou can't work out what they're thinking in their facenBecause they've got hair growing all over the placenYou can't tell what they're up to, maybe it's best not to knownPerhaps they're full of hair up herenBut they've got none down below?nDo they put porno mags in the bushes in the woods?nDo they interfere with kidsnAnd make them say 'Thank you' afterwards?nDo they hang around in parks and wait till after darknJump out of the bushes and then fuck you for a lark?nnMen with beards, what are they concealing?nThat facial fuzz gives me an uneasy feelingnBut they'll hide my dismembered corpse up in the ceilingnWhere I've been butchered by a man with a beardnWhere I've been butchered by a man with a beardnnShipman, Bin Laden, Stilgoe, HaystacksnThey were all hiding something and that's an actual factn'Whispering' Bob Harris - why was his voice so soft?nHad he murdered a prositute up in his loft?nNow, Peter Sutcliffe, the Yorkshire RippernHe avoided the use of a razor or clippernThey've all got a secret, don't think that they ain'tnIt could be something as simple as a skin complaintnnMen with beards, what are they obscuring?nThey all seem so confident and so assuringnBut to some waste ground you they'll be alluringnWhere you'll be bludgeoned by a man with a beardnWhere you'll be bludgeoned by a man with a beardnn(Watch out for men with beards!)

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Lyrics by Kunt And The Gang

A Cup of Tea A Semi-on With a Drop of Pre-cum Air Hostess All I Want For Christmas Is You (To Bring Me Off) Arranged Bride Back and Forth Carol Vorderman Chips or Tits Come On Cliff, Admit You're Queer Dee (The Oldest Groupie) Detox My Cock Doctor Fox Ex-Girlfriend Feminine Itch Fred and Rose Fucksticks Gentleman's Wash Have A Wank I Shit My Pants I'm Gonna Lick You Out I've Had My Last Wank For England If You Don't Like This Song You're A Fucking Cunt Jesus (Baby With a Beard) Just Can't Get Enough Kunt Comfort Let's Go Commando Little Kunt's Song (Flabby Cunt Lips) Make Sure That She's Rank My Mum Found My Wank Mags One Last Wank And One Last Cry Perverts on the Internet Princess Di (I'll Wank And I Will Cry) Pubes Santa's Sack Shaven Haven Sit Down Wee Soapy Tit Wank The Birds and the Bees The Bloke Up The Garage Fucked a Sheep The Illegal Download Song The Two Finger Test The Worst Thing In The World This Christmas Use My Arse As A Cunt Wank the Dog Wanking Over a Pornographic Polaroid of an Ex-Girl... You're a Pervert Young Girl

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