Now, my old Grandad had a wordnHe used when things went wrongnTo introduce this word to you I put it in a songnSo everytime this word gets used his memory lives onnI'm about to tell you what it is so you can sing alongnnFucksticks!nWhen Nan wouldn't let him touch her furry pienFucksticks!nWhen he got some shrapnel lodged in his Jap's eyenFucksticks!nWhen a German sniper shot him in the cocknFucksticks!nWhen he found a lump on his left bollocknFucksticks!nWhen me Nan died and she left him all alonenFucksticks!nWhen he let a bogus caller in his homenFucksticks!nWhen the first black people moved into his streetnFucksticks!nWhen arthritis meant he couldn't beat his meatnFucksticks! Mother's cunt, fucksticks!nnSo everytime I hear the wordnI start to reminiscenI suddenly taste Werthers and get a faint whiff of pissnSo when someone annoys me or things get on my pipnI think about the moany, racist old cunt and really let it rip...nnFucksticks!nWhen I miss an open goal in 5-a-sidenFucksticks!nWhen I lost my hard-on's after Nan had diednFucksticks!nWhen the teacher's told me that I was no goodnFucksticks!nWhen the old bill caught me wanking in the woodnFucksticks!nWhen I'm having it off and I think of my old mannFucksticks!nWhen Little Kunt leaves skidmarks down the pannFucksticks!nWhen some other fucker pushes in a queuenFucksticks!nWhen you get caught short and really need a poonFucksticks!nWhen I came a-tumbling off my BMXnFucksticks!nWhen I split my frenulum while having sexnFucksticks!nWhen some smart-ass gives me my comeuppencenFucksticks!nWhen it's ages since I've seen a lady's tuppencenFucksticks!nWhen there's no clean pants so you have to wear your Mum'snFucksticks!nWhen your bird won't let you fuck her up the bumnFucksticks!nWhen you feel all queer and you don't know what to saynIf you say Fucksticks! Fucksticks! Fucksticks!nIt just makes everything OKnFucksticks! Mother's cunt, fucksticks!
Fucksticks
Kunt And The Gang
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Lyrics by Kunt And The Gang
A Cup of Tea A Semi-on With a Drop of Pre-cum Air Hostess All I Want For Christmas Is You (To Bring Me Off) Arranged Bride Back and Forth Carol Vorderman Chips or Tits Come On Cliff, Admit You're Queer Dee (The Oldest Groupie) Detox My Cock Doctor Fox Ex-Girlfriend Feminine Itch Fred and Rose Gentleman's Wash Have A Wank I Shit My Pants I'm Gonna Lick You Out I've Had My Last Wank For England If You Don't Like This Song You're A Fucking Cunt Jesus (Baby With a Beard) Just Can't Get Enough Kunt Comfort Let's Go Commando Little Kunt's Song (Flabby Cunt Lips) Make Sure That She's Rank Men With Beards (What Are They Hiding?) My Mum Found My Wank Mags One Last Wank And One Last Cry Perverts on the Internet Princess Di (I'll Wank And I Will Cry) Pubes Santa's Sack Shaven Haven Sit Down Wee Soapy Tit Wank The Birds and the Bees The Bloke Up The Garage Fucked a Sheep The Illegal Download Song The Two Finger Test The Worst Thing In The World This Christmas Use My Arse As A Cunt Wank the Dog Wanking Over a Pornographic Polaroid of an Ex-Girl... You're a Pervert Young Girl
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