Over 2000 years agoWhen dinosaurs ruled the landA baby with a beard was bornAnd that baby became a manAnd that man who was born on Christmas DayHe seemed to have a planHe said: I'm going to start a religion offAnd call it Christian... ityAnd 2000 years laterI went and wrote this songUsing words and melodiesTo tell you what went onGod came down from the skyWith a little drop of pre-cum in His Jap's eye(His Jap's eye, His Jap's eyeA little drop of pre-cum in His holy Jap's eye)He said: I need to find a ladyShe can't be a munta orA total rotten slag or a filthy fucking whoreI need a virgin lady and she's got to be pureWith a sausage wallet that has not been used beforeSo, Joseph, Joseph, will you give me your word?You haven't doinked her, Joseph?Come on, give us a go with your birdJoseph said: Mary's pure, she is a virginI've never got my knob beyond those outside flaps of skinIt's not for want of trying though, much to my chagrinShe let me buff it round the edges but I've never stuck it inSo, go on, God, give her one from mePump her full of Jesus juice and make a babyThe holiest baby in history - J-E-S-U-S-C-H-R-I-S-TOh, Jesus, JesusHe's a baby with a beardJesus, JesusOut of Mary's sausage wallet he just appearedIt always seems so clear to meThe most Christmassy baby in historyWas a baby with a beard and it was JesusAnd what if Jesus Christ was born here today?In the modern day on a Christmas Day?I'm sure that he would say take those poxy gifts awayBack on Santa's sleigh 'cause they are proper gay'Cause I don't want gold, frankincense and myrrhThey're a bag of wank, I would much preferAn iPod Touch, a flatscreen TVAnd Grand Theft Auto for Playstation 3'Cause he's Jesus, JesusHe's a baby with a beardJesus, JesusOut of Mary's sausage wallet he just appearedIt always seems so clear to meThe most hirstute-ist baby in historyWas a baby with a beard and it was JesusAnd if it was me who got a bird up the duffBy unconsciencly shagging her muffIt wouldn't be a JesusIt would be a bastard, raped baby son of a cunt
Lyrics by Kunt And The Gang
Related Songs
Obey the Beard - Psychostick
Beard - Alaska Thunderfuck
Santa's Beard - They Might Be Giants
Jesus Just Left Chicago - ZZ Top
Jesus Drives a Trans Am - Roy
Under Bridges - Brave Saint Saturn
What If We Are Not After All, All Destined For Gre...
Fate Finder - M.T. Bearington
Give My Heart to You - Billy Ray Cyrus
Give You My Heart - Babiixjenii
Beard Lust - Natalie Portman's Shaved Head
Beard With Glue - Bad Lip Reading
If Jesus Was From Nashville - Kalee Hric
I Love You, Jamesha Beard - Beyoncé
I Love You, Jamesha Beard - Beyonce
The Booger Man - Frank Zappa
Golfshirt - Nerf Herder
Heard it on the X - ZZ Top
Jamesha love Kermit - Sesame Street
Andrew Beard - Tom Flannery
Beard - Blur
Beard - Kickball
Heard In On The X - ZZ Top
Dear Jesus - Jesse James
Sick to the Bone - Steve Tannen
Jesus Was A Capricorn - Kris Kristofferson
Baby I grew you a beard - Neil Halstead
Baby Jesus - Regina Spektor
Jesus Baby - South Park
Baby Jesus - Drazy Hoops
Beard Lust - Natalie Portmans Shaved Head
He's A Chubby Little Fellow - Gene Autry
Leave the Biker - Fountains Of Wayne
Your Legs Are As Hairy As My Beard - ZZ Top
Have Fun - Beautiful South
Don't Shave My Beard When I Die - BUCK69
(502) - Primer 55
Woke Up With Wood - ZZ Top
Santarrific - Harry Connick, Jr.
Motorbike - Sheep On Drugs
Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers - Zz Top
Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers - ZZ Top
Wonderful, Glorious, Emmanuel - Brandon Heath
Must Be Santa - Christmas Carols
Must Be Santa - LeAnn Rimes
Must Be Santa - Alma Cogan
Must Be Santa - Raffi
Must Be Santa - Christmas Songs
Must Be Santa! - Brave Combo
Must Be Santa - Brave Combo
Must Be Santa - Kidz Bop Kids
Razor Burn - Lagwagon
Be Afraid Of Jesus - Andrew Jackson Jihad
Jesus - Andrew Jackson Jihad
Save The Children - Robbie Williams
Must Be Santa - Bob Dylan
Jesus Was a Capricorn (Owed to John Prine)...
Jesus Was a Capricorn - Marshall Chapman
God is My Friend - Bob Schneider
Save The Children (Hidden Track) - Robbie Williams
Lisa Got A Haircut - Ramones
Glass - Sleeping Cranes
Reason For The Season - D.c. Talk
Reason For The Season - DC Talk
The Hair Piece - George Carlin
I Need You Tonight - ZZ Top
A Bed For Baby Jesus - George Jones
Sweet Baby Jesus - Her Space Holiday
Jesus, Oh What A Wonderful Child - Gladys Knight
Lyle The Liar - Adrian Furby Trio
Blue Jean Blues - ZZ Top
Swlabr - Cream
Swlabr [#][Demo Version] - Cream
Swlabr [BBC Recording] [Version] - Cream
Swlabr - Eric Clapton
Swlabr [Stereo Version] - Cream
Swlabr [BBC Recording] - Cream
Swlabr [Mono Version] - Cream
Swlabr [#] - Cream
Swlabr [Demo Version] - Cream
The Dealer - In Tandem Cities
Santariffic - Harry Connick, Jr.
Age of Aquarius - Champagne Champagne
Made in America - Jay-Z & Kanye West
Made In America - Frank Ocean
Light of the World - Point Of Grace
Anchorite - Andrew Cedermark
This Baby - Steven Curtis Chapman
Tired Of Being Drunk - 22-pistepirkko
Kanye West Sweet Baby Jesus is a new track include...
Blue Beard - Band Of Horses
Weird Beard - Fu ManChu
Santa's Beard - Beach Boys
Weird Beard - Ray Charles
Burning Beard - Clutch
Weird Beard - Mad Caddies
A Man Called Jesus - Prince
Sweet Little Jesus Boy - Chynna Phillips
The Untitled Hymn - Chris Rice
Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus) [#] - Chris Rice
Untitled Hymn (come To Jesus ) - Chris Rice
Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris...
Hai Sai Oji-san / Hey Man! - Richard Thompson
Jesus (Don't Touch My Baby) - Ryan Adams
Morbid Tales - Celtic Frost
Vassillios - Disco Biscuits
Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus) - Chris Rice
Jesus What a Wonderful Child - Mariah Carey
Mary Had A Baby - Hall & Oates
Mary Had A Baby - Hall & Oates
Mary Had A Baby - Daryl Hall & John Oates
I Know - Barenaked Ladies
Jesus (Don't Touch My Baby) - Ryan Adams
Swlabr By Jack Bruce And Pete Brown - Cream
Malachy's - Indigo Girls
Lord I'm Just a Baby - B.J. Thomas
Made In America - Kanye West & Jay-Z
Away In a Manger - Andy Williams
Standing On A Bus - Childrens Lyrics
Away in a Manger - Susan Boyle
Away In A Manger - Randy Travis
Away in a Manger - Jeremy Camp
Jesus Christ Came To Me In A Dream...
Jesus Oh What a Wonderful Child [PCM Stereo]...
Jesus, Oh What a Wonderful Child - Patti LaBelle
Jesus, Oh What A Wonderful Child - Christmas Songs
Jesus Oh What A Wonderful Child - Mariah Carey
Jesus, Oh What A Wonderful Child - Mariah Carey
Enjoy and Get it On - ZZ Top
Away In A Manger - Glee
Jesus I Was Evil - Butterfingers
Sweet Baby Jesus - Kanye West
Dashboard Baby Jesus - Krome
Gazebo Tree - Kristin Hersh
I Drop Money - Destiny\'s Child F/ Master P
The Only True Jesus - Truth Songs
Away In A Manger - Johnny Cash
Away In A Manger - Jackie Evancho
Away in a Manger - Joe Nichols
Jesus, Oh What A Wonderful Child - Carey Mariah
Away In Manger - Olivia Newton-John
Away In A Manger - Smokie
Jesus Christ You're Tall - Harry Nilsson
Away In A Manger - Third Day
Jesus, What a Wonderful Child - Blake Bolerjack
Away In A Manger - Collin Raye
Away in a Manger - Margaret Becker
Away in a Manger - Ralph Carmichael
Away In A Manger - Patty Loveless
Away In A Manger - Celtic Woman
Away in the Manger - Ella Fitzgerald
Away in a Manger - Órla Fallon
Away In The Manager - Religious Music
Away In A Manager - Unknown
Away In A Manger - Carpenters
Away In A Manger - Daniel O'Donnell
Away In A Manger - Reba Mcentire
Away In A Manager (Traditional) - 98 Degrees
Away in a manger (Tune: Cradle Song) (New English ...
Away in a Manger - Celtic
Away In A Manger - Annie Haslam
Away In A Manager (traditional) - 98"
Away in a Manger - Earth Wind & Fire
Away In A Manger - Nat King Cole
Away In A Manger - Mahalia Jackson
Away in a Manger - Christmas Song
Away In A Manger - Michael W. Smith
Away in a Manger - Brandon Heath
Away in The Manger - Reba McEntire
Away in a Manger - Corrinne May
Away in a Manger - Orla Fallon
Away in a Manger - Celtic Thunder
Roland - Interpol
Roland (First Demo) - Interpol
Roland (Live LA CA 9.19.02) - Interpol
Nasty Dogs and Funky Kings - ZZ Top
Away in the Manger - Dwight Yoakam
Away In A Manger - Dwight Yoakam
Away In A Manger - Kitty Wells
Away In A Manger - Olivia Newton-John
Away In A Manger - Brad Paisley
Away in a Manger - Kenny Rogers
Away in a Manger - Take 6
Away in a Manger - Helen Merrill
Away in a Manger - Debbie Reynolds
Away in a Manger [English Version] - Frank Mills
Away in a Manger - B.J. Thomas
Away in a Manger - Cristy Lane
Away in a Manger [American Version] - Frank Mills
Away in a Manger - Bobbie Gentry
Away in a Manger - Marilyn McCoo
Away in a Manger - George Shearing
Away in a Manger - Billy Davis, Jr.
Away in a Manger - Slim Whitman
Away in a Manger - André Previn
Away in a Manger - Julie Andrews
Away in a Manger - Ella Fitzgerald
Away in a Manger - Kathie Lee Gifford
Away in a Manger - Wayne Newton
Away in a Manger - Glen Campbell