Cocktales
Too $hort

H-E-A-D,
All you washed up hoes tryin' to throw that P
You're just a big freak, you better not complain,
When you hear these cocktails and you hear your name.
If you a fake bitch, ain't no thing
I'll pick up the phone and call Danine.
If I call Marie, I know for a fact
I'm gettin' fucked in my drop top Cadillac
I met this freak named Naomi
Straight dick sucker worked me and my homies.
She had a girlfriend, her name was Vicki
I pulled her to the side and let her suck my dick.
She was fine as fuck, but can't fuck with Tina
Tina, Tina, the sperm cleana.
I took her to my house and told her strip
Baby got freaky-started doing the splits.
I said, Bitch! You can do what you want
Cause this true blue mack won't even front.
I fucked her with my finger, she tried to cum
Pussy so tight, it wouldn't give me none
I'm Sir Too $hort baby couldn't be no punk
I'm trying to get freaky cause I love the funk
My dick is big and her nigga had a little one,
I didn't fuck her freaky ass, but it was still fun.
I know you stop and wonder just what it is

It's the California lifestyle that I live.
My name is Short, my game is long
I freak these hoes and sing these songs.
I know this girl named Annette
Get her all alone and she'll suck your dick
Hella freaky, won't say no for shit
You and her all alone, nigga that's your bitch.
I know another freak her name's Joanne
I always get the pussy 'cause I know I can
Finest bitch around, ain't got no man
Every time she cross my mind I go fuck her again.
She's like another bitch named Christina
Bitch so dumb, I named her misdemeanor
'cause it had to be a crime to be that dumb
I took her to my house and she let me cum in her mouth
You know I did all that shit
She got my number, if she beep me, I'm gonna call that bitch,
And go dig in them guts like a gardener,
If she starts screamin', I'm gonna fuck the bitch harder.

Cause these are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales I tell so well
You don't like my dirty rap you can go to hell
'cause Short Dogg's on the mike tellin' cocktails.

I meet the groupies, hookers like Kathy,
Fucking M.C.'s cause she's so nasty,
See her backstage trying to throw that ass,
She just like the freaks and she had to pass me that pussy
You can't stop the bitch
Let her roll on my rolls then I drop the bitch
My name is Short my game is long
I freak these hoes and sing these songs.
I know another girl named Stephanie
Do anything she can to have sex with me
She really don't bring out the best in me
But I love her fine ass laying next to me.
She's like another freak named Nicole
So damn sprung on my diamonds and gold
I took her to my house, she gave me the panties
I fucked her so good she told her friend named Angie.
Angie called me up about two weeks later
Talking some shit about do me player
So I did her just like Tamara,
Taking naked pictures with my Polaroid camera.
Next they told a girl named Rocquelle
Got my skin all under her fingernails
She was diggin' in my back while I grind the shit
That was way back now I can't find the bitch
But if I do, I'll probably do the same again
Break the bitch for everything 'cause I came to pimp.
I'm Too Short baby, I don't stop mackin'
I grab the microphone and I don't stop rappin'
You can bet your life as I spit these raps
I'll be fucking em' up like that, bitch.

These are the tales the freaky tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
You don't like my dirty raps you can go to hell
'cause Short Dogg is on the mike telling cocktales!


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Lyrics by Too $hort

  'Life Is... Too Short' (LP Version)   16 Hoes   19,999   2 Bitches   Ain't No Bitches   Ain't Nothin' But A Word To Me   Ain't Nothing Like Pimpin'   Ain't Nuthin Like Pimpin   All My Bitches Are Gone   All The Time   Analyze The Game   Anything Is Possible   B***H   Baby D   Bad Ways   Badwayz: Don't Trust Her   Baller   Be My Dirty Love   Bitch I'm A Pimp   Bitch Sucks Dick   Blow Job Betty   Blow the Whistle   Blow the Whistle [Clean]   Blow the Whistle [Instrumental]   Blowjob Betty   Bonus Track   Bossy   Bossy   Bossy   Bossy   Bossy [Radio Edit]   Broke Bitch   Burn Rubber   Burn Rubber Pt. 2   Burn Rubber Pt.2   Buy You Some   Cali-O   Cali-O - B-Legit   Califorina Girls   California Girls   Call Her A Bitch   Call It Gangster   Call Me   Call Me Daddy   Can I Get A -----   Can I Get A Bitch   Can I Hit It   Can't Stay Away   Can't Stay Away (Outro)   Can't Stop   Candy Paint   Candy Paint - MC Breed   Candy Paint (feat. MC Breed)   Chase The Cat   Choosin'   City Of Dope   Cocktails   Cocktales   Coke Dealers   Comin' Up $hort   Coming Up $hort   Coming up Short   Couldn't Be A Better Player   Cuss Words   Cusswords   Dead Or Alive   Domestic Violence   Domestic Violence (feat. E-40)   Don't Act Like That   Don't Even Stop   Don't Ever Give Up   Don't Ever Stop   Don't Fight The Feelin'   Don't Fight The Feeling   Don't Fight The Intro   Don't Fuck For Free   Don't Hate The Player   Don't Stop Rappin'   Don't Trust Her   Dope Fiend Beat   Double Header   Dum Ditty Dum   Every Time   Everytime   F.U.C.K.Y.O.U.   Female Funk   Female Players   Fire   Fire (feat. Eric Sermon)   Freaky Tales   Freaky Tales [Beat]   From Here To New York   Fuck My Car   Funk Session   Game   Gangstas & Strippers   Get In Where You Fit In   Get It   Get Low   Get Off The Stage   Get That Cheese   Gettin' It   Girl   Girl (Cocaine) That's Your Life   Givin up The Funk   Giving Up The Funk   Good Life   Gotta Get Some Lovin'   Hard On A Bitch   Hard On The Boulevard   Here We Go   Here We Go (J.D. Remix)   Here We Go (Lil' Jon Remix)   Here We Go [Jermaine Dupri Remix]   Hey, Let's Go   Hey, Let's Go - Devin the Dude   Hobo Hoeing   Hoes   Hoochie   Hotel   Hotel   How Does It Feel   I Ain't Nothin but a Dog   I Ain't Nothin' But A Dog   I Ain't Trippin   I Don't Stop Rappin   I Know You Love Her   I Know You Love Her (feat. Slink Capone)   I Like It   I Love   I Love Tequila   I Luv   I Luv (Featuring Trick Daddy, Scarface And Daz)   I Must Confess   I Need A Freak   I Wanna Pimp You Hoe   I Want to Be Free   I Want To Be Free (That's The Truth)   I Want Your Girl   I'm A Playa   I'm A Player   I'm A Stop   I'm Pimpin'   I'm Wit It   Im Trippin   In The Oaktown   In The Studio   In The Trunk   Independence Day [Instrumental]   Intro: Shorty The Pimp   Invasion Of The Flat Booty Bitches   Invasion Of The Flat Booty Bitches (erick Sermon R...   It Ain't Over   It Don't Stop   It's a Cold Day   It's A Cold Day (The Funk Wit U Mix)   It's About That Money   It's About That Money (Bonus Track)   It's All Good   It's Alright   It's Time To Go   It's Your Life   Just Anotha Day   Just Another Day   Just Like Dope   Keep Bouncin' (Street)   Keep Fuckin' Me   Kobe Bryant   Late Night Creep   Late Nite Creep   Lead the Way   Leave It Alone   Life Is 2009   Life Is Too $hort   Life Is...Too Short   Life Is..Too Short   Life's Too Short   Little Girls   Lollypops   Longevity   Looking For a Baller   Looking For A Dollar   Mack Attack   Mack Attack [*]   Married To The Game   Money In The Ghetto   Money Maker   Money on the Floor   More Freaky Tales   Movin in Your Chucks   My Dick, My Sack   Nasty Rhymes   Nation Riders   Nation Riders Anthem   Never Talk Down   No Love From Oakland   Nobody Does It Better   Nothing Feels Better   Oakland   Oakland Style   Oakland, California   Old Fashioned Way   Old School   Only The Strong Survive   Partytime   Paula & Janet   Paula Janet   Paystyle   Pimp Life   Pimp Me   Pimp On   Pimp Sh*t   Pimp Shit   Pimp The Ho   Pimpandho.Com   Pimpin' Forever   Pimpology   Playa   Playboy $hort   Playboy Short   Playboy Short II   Player For Life   Players   Players Holiday   Porno Bitch   Pull Them Panties Down   Punk Bitch   Quit Hatin' Pt. 1   Rap Like Me   Real Niggaz   Recognize Game   Rhymes   Ride Wit Us   Sadity   Sample The Funk   Set Up   Shake It Baby   Shake That Monkey   She Know   She Loves Her   Shittin' On 'Em   Short But Funky   Short Dog's In The House   Short Rap   Short Short   Slink Capone: Nation Riders   So Watcha Sayin'   So You Want to Be a Gangster   Somethin to Ride To   Something To Ride To   Sophisticated   Step Daddy   Still Strugglin'   Strip Down   Survivin' The Game   T.W.D.Y. - Player's Holiday   Take My Bitch   Take Your   Take Your [DVD]   Take Your [DVD]   Tell The Feds   Thangs Change   That's How It Goes Down   That's Why   Thats Right   The Bitch Sucks Dick   The Dangerous Crew   The Ghetto   The Invasion of the Flat Booty Bitches   The Old Fashioned Way   These Are the Tales   This How We Eat   This Is How We Eat (feat. The Eastsiders, Big Tigg...   This My One   Top Down   Triple X   U Stank   Way Too Real   We Do This   What Happened To The Groupies   What She Gonna Do   What She Gonna Do?   What The Fuck   What's A Pimp?   Where They At?   Wild Wild West   Wild, Wild West   Yo Neck Yo Back   Yo Neck, Yo Back, My Dick, And My Sack   You Can't Fuck With Us   You Know What I Mean   You Might Get G'eed   You Nasty   Your Sister

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