Freaky Tales
Too $hort

Short Dog's in the house, once again with this pimp shit

These are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
For fifteen years I've been a real player
So if you wanna have sex say hell yeah

I met this girl in Atlanta
She let a nigga fuck but I still can't stand her
The pussy wasn't good I said What's up bitch?
I'm tired of fuckin' can you suck dick?
She said No, but she had another friend
So I switched like a real pimp
Laying on my back with my dick in her mouth
I said Beyotch, what you talkin' 'bout?
She mumbled something, I don't know what she said
Smoking on a joint gettin some bomb-ass head
Bitch said her name was Theresa
All on my dick like cheese on pizza
In the A-T-L where the grass is greener
I fucked Nina, Melina, Sabrina and Tina
When I first moved out there, I met Holly
Five-foot one with a bad ass body
Freaky little bitch she was a Gemini
She used to stand up and say Shoot it in my eye!
I met another girl went to Spellman College
Every day after school I acquired the knowledge
I took her to my house so I could get some
I fucked her real good and made the bitch cum
She was hella limber, said her name was Amber
She wouldn't stop screaming, that's all I remember
I had another freak, her name was Wendy
When I first met the bitch she said Please don't pimp me!
I did it anyway
I'm coming straight from Oakland, see-A
Ain't no other way, like my girl Shante
She lives in Atlanta, but she comes from the Bay
Let me hit that hometown pussy on the strimp
Look out for a nigga, treat me like a pimp
You know I can't forget about the strippers
Cinderella with the glass slipper
Top down in the Benz ain't spendin' no ends
Fat bag of indo, bring all your friends
It's like Lotto, you get a quick pick
Bitches said they heard I had a big dick
So I showed it to 'em, only took one second
Dick rock hard, bitches gettin' nekked

These are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
For fifteen years I've been a real player
So if you wanna have sex say hell yeah

I know another bitch, her name is Terri
I lied to the bitch It's about time I get married
I couldn't see me pimpin' her
So I fucked her next door neighbor, Jennifer
She had two roommates, Cindy and Amy
Terri caught me creepin' and said Nigga don't play me!
But them hoes liked to freak
I used to send 'em new niggas every other week
I never would tell you all the hoes I fucked
These are the tales, some of this shit I made up
I change the name so I can rhyme and shit
So if it's you, you know the time bitch
I spent the night with Monique in between the sheets
It was her, her girlfriend April and me
I do it on the regular, two at a time
Call it what you want I be a fool wit' mine
Like them Texas niggas, I never would change
Like my niggas up in Cleveland spit the good game
These hoes recognize when I come in the door
I ain't trickin bitch, so what you want me for?
Like Natalie, swearin' up and down I had to be the one
Bitch lets have some fun
I fucked her, you thought I didn't
Short Dog's in the house and I keep on pimpin'
So then I fucked the twins, Sharon and Karen
Went straight for the panties, but they wasn't wearin 'em
Don't ask me who I fucked first, it ain't my fault
In the end, I still got the same results

These are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
For fifteen years I've been a real player
So if you wanna have sex say hell yeah

Hell yeah, I never would forget Charlene
We was layin real close like two sardines
Talkin', laughin', kissin' and shit
Next thing I know she started kissin' my dick
You know the rest, before she left I paged Mia
I told her I got a new freak over here
She rushed over, I left and when I came back
Them hoes was lickin' cats
They call me Short when I'm pimpin', Dog when I'm mackin'
Gotta get the money, that's all that's happenin'
She wants to be my love slave, I need some bug spray
To keep these hoes away
I never would tell you all the hoes I fucked
These are the tales, some of this shit I made up
I change the name so I can rhyme and shit
So if it's you, you know the time bitch

These are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
For fifteen years I've been a real player
So if you wanna get fucked say hell yeah (hell yeah)

Beyotch
And it don't stop
Old school Short Dog
Still spittin' it
Still gettin' it
Gettin' that money
Eastside baby, Oakland
You ain't knowin?
Beyotch


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Lyrics by Too $hort

  'Life Is... Too Short' (LP Version)   16 Hoes   19,999   2 Bitches   Ain't No Bitches   Ain't Nothin' But A Word To Me   Ain't Nothing Like Pimpin'   Ain't Nuthin Like Pimpin   All My Bitches Are Gone   All The Time   Analyze The Game   Anything Is Possible   B***H   Baby D   Bad Ways   Badwayz: Don't Trust Her   Baller   Be My Dirty Love   Bitch I'm A Pimp   Bitch Sucks Dick   Blow Job Betty   Blow the Whistle   Blow the Whistle [Clean]   Blow the Whistle [Instrumental]   Blowjob Betty   Bonus Track   Bossy   Bossy   Bossy   Bossy   Bossy [Radio Edit]   Broke Bitch   Burn Rubber   Burn Rubber Pt. 2   Burn Rubber Pt.2   Buy You Some   Cali-O   Cali-O - B-Legit   Califorina Girls   California Girls   Call Her A Bitch   Call It Gangster   Call Me   Call Me Daddy   Can I Get A -----   Can I Get A Bitch   Can I Hit It   Can't Stay Away   Can't Stay Away (Outro)   Can't Stop   Candy Paint   Candy Paint - MC Breed   Candy Paint (feat. MC Breed)   Chase The Cat   Choosin'   City Of Dope   Cocktails   Cocktales   Cocktales   Coke Dealers   Comin' Up $hort   Coming Up $hort   Coming up Short   Couldn't Be A Better Player   Cuss Words   Cusswords   Dead Or Alive   Domestic Violence   Domestic Violence (feat. E-40)   Don't Act Like That   Don't Even Stop   Don't Ever Give Up   Don't Ever Stop   Don't Fight The Feelin'   Don't Fight The Feeling   Don't Fight The Intro   Don't Fuck For Free   Don't Hate The Player   Don't Stop Rappin'   Don't Trust Her   Dope Fiend Beat   Double Header   Dum Ditty Dum   Every Time   Everytime   F.U.C.K.Y.O.U.   Female Funk   Female Players   Fire   Fire (feat. Eric Sermon)   Freaky Tales [Beat]   From Here To New York   Fuck My Car   Funk Session   Game   Gangstas & Strippers   Get In Where You Fit In   Get It   Get Low   Get Off The Stage   Get That Cheese   Gettin' It   Girl   Girl (Cocaine) That's Your Life   Givin up The Funk   Giving Up The Funk   Good Life   Gotta Get Some Lovin'   Hard On A Bitch   Hard On The Boulevard   Here We Go   Here We Go (J.D. Remix)   Here We Go (Lil' Jon Remix)   Here We Go [Jermaine Dupri Remix]   Hey, Let's Go   Hey, Let's Go - Devin the Dude   Hobo Hoeing   Hoes   Hoochie   Hotel   Hotel   How Does It Feel   I Ain't Nothin but a Dog   I Ain't Nothin' But A Dog   I Ain't Trippin   I Don't Stop Rappin   I Know You Love Her   I Know You Love Her (feat. Slink Capone)   I Like It   I Love   I Love Tequila   I Luv   I Luv (Featuring Trick Daddy, Scarface And Daz)   I Must Confess   I Need A Freak   I Wanna Pimp You Hoe   I Want to Be Free   I Want To Be Free (That's The Truth)   I Want Your Girl   I'm A Playa   I'm A Player   I'm A Stop   I'm Pimpin'   I'm Wit It   Im Trippin   In The Oaktown   In The Studio   In The Trunk   Independence Day [Instrumental]   Intro: Shorty The Pimp   Invasion Of The Flat Booty Bitches   Invasion Of The Flat Booty Bitches (erick Sermon R...   It Ain't Over   It Don't Stop   It's a Cold Day   It's A Cold Day (The Funk Wit U Mix)   It's About That Money   It's About That Money (Bonus Track)   It's All Good   It's Alright   It's Time To Go   It's Your Life   Just Anotha Day   Just Another Day   Just Like Dope   Keep Bouncin' (Street)   Keep Fuckin' Me   Kobe Bryant   Late Night Creep   Late Nite Creep   Lead the Way   Leave It Alone   Life Is 2009   Life Is Too $hort   Life Is...Too Short   Life Is..Too Short   Life's Too Short   Little Girls   Lollypops   Longevity   Looking For a Baller   Looking For A Dollar   Mack Attack   Mack Attack [*]   Married To The Game   Money In The Ghetto   Money Maker   Money on the Floor   More Freaky Tales   Movin in Your Chucks   My Dick, My Sack   Nasty Rhymes   Nation Riders   Nation Riders Anthem   Never Talk Down   No Love From Oakland   Nobody Does It Better   Nothing Feels Better   Oakland   Oakland Style   Oakland, California   Old Fashioned Way   Old School   Only The Strong Survive   Partytime   Paula & Janet   Paula Janet   Paystyle   Pimp Life   Pimp Me   Pimp On   Pimp Sh*t   Pimp Shit   Pimp The Ho   Pimpandho.Com   Pimpin' Forever   Pimpology   Playa   Playboy $hort   Playboy Short   Playboy Short II   Player For Life   Players   Players Holiday   Porno Bitch   Pull Them Panties Down   Punk Bitch   Quit Hatin' Pt. 1   Rap Like Me   Real Niggaz   Recognize Game   Rhymes   Ride Wit Us   Sadity   Sample The Funk   Set Up   Shake It Baby   Shake That Monkey   She Know   She Loves Her   Shittin' On 'Em   Short But Funky   Short Dog's In The House   Short Rap   Short Short   Slink Capone: Nation Riders   So Watcha Sayin'   So You Want to Be a Gangster   Somethin to Ride To   Something To Ride To   Sophisticated   Step Daddy   Still Strugglin'   Strip Down   Survivin' The Game   T.W.D.Y. - Player's Holiday   Take My Bitch   Take Your   Take Your [DVD]   Take Your [DVD]   Tell The Feds   Thangs Change   That's How It Goes Down   That's Why   Thats Right   The Bitch Sucks Dick   The Dangerous Crew   The Ghetto   The Invasion of the Flat Booty Bitches   The Old Fashioned Way   These Are the Tales   This How We Eat   This Is How We Eat (feat. The Eastsiders, Big Tigg...   This My One   Top Down   Triple X   U Stank   Way Too Real   We Do This   What Happened To The Groupies   What She Gonna Do   What She Gonna Do?   What The Fuck   What's A Pimp?   Where They At?   Wild Wild West   Wild, Wild West   Yo Neck Yo Back   Yo Neck, Yo Back, My Dick, And My Sack   You Can't Fuck With Us   You Know What I Mean   You Might Get G'eed   You Nasty   Your Sister

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