The Cat Song
Ray Stevens

Sixteen men on a dead man's chest

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Avast there mates, ye're sailin'

With Long John Black Beard

Peg-Leg, Patch-Eye Hook

Scourge of the bounding main

Bloodthirstiest, black-heartiest

Pirate captain ever sailed the seven seas ha, ha, ha

What say ye, we hoist the Jolly Roger

Heel over the yonder Spanish galleon

Lay a few broadsides agin' her timers

Swing over on these here lanyards

With our cutlasses in our teeth

Cut 'em to ribbons and split the booty

What say ye to that, me hearties?

Heh, ha, ha, ha, ha

I don't like it

You don't like it?

I don't like it and I don't wanna do it

It's tacky, tacky, tacky and don't look at me that way

Well, if you don't like it, what do you want?

I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance

I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance

Wear me silver buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants

I want to sing and dance

You want to sing and dance, heh

You don't like plundering, aye?

Well, shiver me timbers 'ow 'bout treasuring, huh?

Rubies, emeralds and pearls

Gold doubloons and British sovereigns

Silver chalices encrusted with diamonds and jewels

Necklaces and bracelets of every shape and size

Fit for the crown heads of Europe, aye?

And all buried in a pirate's chest

And I just happen to know where

How about that me bloodthirsty

Buckos, heh? Ha, ha, ha

I don't like it

You don't like it?

I don't like it and I don't want it

He don't want it

And I won't do it, I'm an artiste

An artiste, well, Mister Artiste, what do you want?

I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance

I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance

Wear me silver buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants

I want to sing and dance

Now, listen hear, this ain't no floating Gilbert and Sullivan show

You know for some little flittin' tinkerbell

This here be a black hearted pirate ship

And I would have you keel hauled if you weren't me

Own flesh and blood you little twit!

So you don't like plunderin' aye?

I don't like it

And you don't want no treasurin' ah?

I don't want it

And you probably don't want no groggin' and revelin'

And wrenchin' and rummin' either I suppose?

Well, deep down you want to know the truth?

It's not me, I don't want it

Well, what do you want

As if I didn't already bleein' know?

I want to sing and dance and

I know, I know and wear your tight little shiny pants

Huh, okay, we'll all sing and dance

I said, we'll all sing and dance

Or you'll walk the plank, one two free

I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance

I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance

Wear me silver buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants

I want to sing and dance

(You hear the Captain and twit's voice say)

I like it, I like it

I kinda like it me own self

Thought you would

Sixteen men on a dead man's chest

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

I don't like rum

You don't like rum?

Well, no, actually, well, I might like a little Perrier

A little Perrier?

With a lime in it

A lime in it? He wants a lime in it

Well, do you have any Escargot?

Escar, what?

What's the soup today?

Soup?

Might have a bit of a salad too

Well, how about a bleeding finger bowl?

Maybe a croissant, is that right?

Those French make everything so hard

Why didn't they just call it a bun?


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Lyrics by Ray Stevens

  \   A Handshake Will Do   Ahab The Arab   Ahab The Arab Popeye and Olive Oil   All the Way   Along Came Jones   America, Communicate With Me   Bad Little Boy   Ballad Of The Blue Cyclone   Be Your Own Best Friend   Blue Christmas   Bridget the Midget   Bridget The Midget (The Queen Of The Blues)   Chickie-Chickie Wah Wah   Cholly Wolly Chang Chang   Come to the U.S.A.   Cow-Cow Boogie   Dear Andy Griffith   Erik the Awful   Everything Is Beautiful   Family Funeral Fight   Five More Steps   Fly Over Country   Freddie Feelgood   Freddie Feelgood (And His Funky Little Five Piece ...   Funny Man   Further More   Gitarzan   Hang Up and Drive   Harry the Hairy Ape   Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas   Hearts Made Of Stone   Hello Mama   Help Me Make It Through The Night   Hermit Named Dave   High School Yearbook   Hugo The Human Cannonball   I hear our President talkin   I Need Your Help, Barry Manilow   I Saw Elvis In A U.F.O.   I'll Be Home For Christmas   I'm My Own Grandpa   I'm My Own Grandpaw   I'm My Own Grandpa   If 10% Is Good Enough For Jesus   If Ten Percent Is Good Enough For Jesus   Indian Love Call   Irish Builder   It's Been So Long   It's Me Again Margaret   It's Me Again, Margaret   It's Me Again Margaret   Jack Daniels You Lied To Me Again   Jambalaya   Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolvin...   Jingle Bells   Julius Played the Trumpet   Kings And Queens   Kiss A Pig   Kitty Cat's Revenge   Knock Him Out John   Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow   Little by Little   Little Egypt   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Mama Sang Bass   Marion Michael Morrison   Midnight In Baghdad   Missippi Squirel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival (1985)   Misty   Moonlight Special   Mr Businessman   Mr. Businessman   My Dad   Nashville   Nightmare Before Christmas   Obama Nation   Osama Yo Mama   Osama Yo' Mama (Alternate Version)   Osama-Yo-Mama   Over the Rainbow   Pfc Rhythm and Blues Jones   Purple People Eater   Rang Tang Ding Dong I'm The Japanese Sandman   Rock and Roll Show   Rockin' Boppin' Waltz   Safe at Home   Sant Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Clause Is Watching You   Saturday Night at the Movie   Scratch My Back (I Love It)   Sergeant Preston Of The Yukon   Sgt Preston Of The Yukon   She Belongs To Me   She Came in Through the Bathroom Window   Shriner's Convention   Shriner's Convention (1980)   Shriner's Convention   Silver Bracelet   Sittin' Up with the Dead   Sittin' Up With The Dead   Solar Powered Song   Southern Air   Speed Ball   Stand Up   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Morning Comin' Down   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Thank You   That's What She Means To Me   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The Beginning)   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The End?)   The Baptism of Stumpy Brown   The Battle Of New Orleans   The Camping Trip   The Deoderant Song   The Deodorant Song   The Fool on the Hill   The Global Warming Song   The Haircut Song   The Mississippi Squirell Revival   The Pirate Song   The Preacher And The Bear   The Streak   The Streak (1974)   The Tender Trap   There Must Be A Pill For This   Three Fractured Factions   Throw The Bums Out   Too Drunk to Fish   Turn Your Radio On   Unwind   Vacation Bible School   Virgil And The Moonshot   Walkin' the Dog   We Are The Government   We The People   What Would I Do Without You   Who Do You Love?   Would Jesus Wear a Rolex   Xerox Xmas Letter   Yakety Yak   You Are So Beautiful   Young Love   Your Bozo's Back Again   Your Bozo's Back Again

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