Vacation Bible School
Ray Stevens

well, where i grew up in talapusa

when summertime came we all use'ta

go to a place called vacation bible school

we'd look up verses in the bible

make paper cut outs of the twelve disciples

and memorize the ten commandments and the golden rule

i remember once when my class made

a big ol' batch of lemonade

to be used by a student teacher at the sunday sermon

yeah we put in lemons, and sugar and water

and even though i knew i shouldn't ought'er

i put in some moonshine i got from my uncle herman

now that sunday dawned real hot and dusty

and to say the lease we were all real thirsty

and that seminary started hittin' that lemonade

and kept it well in reach

then to the best of my recollection

before the deacons were halfway through the collection

he stood up and drank from the pitcher and began to preach Ho!

oh the things we used to do

in vacation bible schoo'

when i was just a barefoot boy in dixie

if my mama had only known

even a half of what went on

she'd cut a switch off of a hickory

she'd a whipped me

well he told that samson didn't take no sass

and whipped the philistines with the jaw bone of an ass

but to tell the truth, he got all that just a little mixed up

i can't tell you exactly what he said

but the minute he said it every face went red

but he just paused, and kinda staggered and then he hiccuped

he gave botanical names for mideast flora

told ALL about sodom and gomorrah

and though his speech was slurred

it was very graphic

he used words i'd never heard back then

and even now i only hear 'em when

i'm stuck in a new york cab

in five o clock traffic

well the sermon ended and he didn't rest

he went right into the gettysburg address

and then a stirring rendition of casey at the bat

he did impressions of garbo and gary cooper

and i tell ya friends, i thought it was super

'cause for props he grabbed the organ players wig and a deacon's hat

oh the things we used to do

in vacation bible schoo'

when i was just a barefoot boy in dixie

if my mama had only known

even a half of what went on

she'd cut a switch off of a hickory

she'd a whipped me

well we never had heard any preachin' like that

and we never invited that young man back

but to tell the truth, i thought it was a pitty

but i heard he went up preachin' that day

and he gave up cussin' and lemonade

and went to selling aluminum siding in yazoo city

oh the things we used to do

in vacation bible schoo'

when i was just a barefoot boy in dixie

if my mama had only known

even a half of what went on

she'd cut a switch off of a hickory

she'd a whipped me


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Lyrics by Ray Stevens

  \   A Handshake Will Do   Ahab The Arab   Ahab The Arab Popeye and Olive Oil   All the Way   Along Came Jones   America, Communicate With Me   Bad Little Boy   Ballad Of The Blue Cyclone   Be Your Own Best Friend   Blue Christmas   Bridget the Midget   Bridget The Midget (The Queen Of The Blues)   Chickie-Chickie Wah Wah   Cholly Wolly Chang Chang   Come to the U.S.A.   Cow-Cow Boogie   Dear Andy Griffith   Erik the Awful   Everything Is Beautiful   Family Funeral Fight   Five More Steps   Fly Over Country   Freddie Feelgood   Freddie Feelgood (And His Funky Little Five Piece ...   Funny Man   Further More   Gitarzan   Hang Up and Drive   Harry the Hairy Ape   Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas   Hearts Made Of Stone   Hello Mama   Help Me Make It Through The Night   Hermit Named Dave   High School Yearbook   Hugo The Human Cannonball   I hear our President talkin   I Need Your Help, Barry Manilow   I Saw Elvis In A U.F.O.   I'll Be Home For Christmas   I'm My Own Grandpa   I'm My Own Grandpaw   I'm My Own Grandpa   If 10% Is Good Enough For Jesus   If Ten Percent Is Good Enough For Jesus   Indian Love Call   Irish Builder   It's Been So Long   It's Me Again Margaret   It's Me Again, Margaret   It's Me Again Margaret   Jack Daniels You Lied To Me Again   Jambalaya   Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolvin...   Jingle Bells   Julius Played the Trumpet   Kings And Queens   Kiss A Pig   Kitty Cat's Revenge   Knock Him Out John   Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow   Little by Little   Little Egypt   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Mama Sang Bass   Marion Michael Morrison   Midnight In Baghdad   Missippi Squirel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival (1985)   Misty   Moonlight Special   Mr Businessman   Mr. Businessman   My Dad   Nashville   Nightmare Before Christmas   Obama Nation   Osama Yo Mama   Osama Yo' Mama (Alternate Version)   Osama-Yo-Mama   Over the Rainbow   Pfc Rhythm and Blues Jones   Purple People Eater   Rang Tang Ding Dong I'm The Japanese Sandman   Rock and Roll Show   Rockin' Boppin' Waltz   Safe at Home   Sant Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Clause Is Watching You   Saturday Night at the Movie   Scratch My Back (I Love It)   Sergeant Preston Of The Yukon   Sgt Preston Of The Yukon   She Belongs To Me   She Came in Through the Bathroom Window   Shriner's Convention   Shriner's Convention (1980)   Shriner's Convention   Silver Bracelet   Sittin' Up with the Dead   Sittin' Up With The Dead   Solar Powered Song   Southern Air   Speed Ball   Stand Up   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Morning Comin' Down   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Thank You   That's What She Means To Me   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The Beginning)   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The End?)   The Baptism of Stumpy Brown   The Battle Of New Orleans   The Camping Trip   The Cat Song   The Deoderant Song   The Deodorant Song   The Fool on the Hill   The Global Warming Song   The Haircut Song   The Mississippi Squirell Revival   The Pirate Song   The Preacher And The Bear   The Streak   The Streak (1974)   The Tender Trap   There Must Be A Pill For This   Three Fractured Factions   Throw The Bums Out   Too Drunk to Fish   Turn Your Radio On   Unwind   Virgil And The Moonshot   Walkin' the Dog   We Are The Government   We The People   What Would I Do Without You   Who Do You Love?   Would Jesus Wear a Rolex   Xerox Xmas Letter   Yakety Yak   You Are So Beautiful   Young Love   Your Bozo's Back Again   Your Bozo's Back Again

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