Erik the Awful
Ray Stevens

Way back in history along the Nordic coast

that was the sound all the people feared the most

It would echo thru the night up and down the foggy fj-ord

It was Erik and the bloodthirsty Horde!

Chorus: Erik the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious

Erik the Awful, the Ruthless and Courageous

Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces

You can run, but you cannot hide!

YES! And as the oars of the sleek, fierce Viking ship cut thru the water like

knives thru the fog-shrouded Nordic sea, transporting the wild, marauding

band of Viking heathens stealthily towards their unsuspecting, slumbering

victims, there he stood, on the foredeck, Erik the Awful, the wildest,

bloodthirstiest Viking of them all!

(his Momma named him Erik 'cause she couldn't spell AHHGGGRRRFFFFLLLLQQHH!)

He had a hairy head, a hairy face, hairy chest, hairy legs, hairy boots and a

hairy hat, shaped like a big bullet with horns comin' out the sides... and

once he started after ya he'd NEVER stop!

He'd turn to his oarsmen in his 37 oared fj-ord and he'd say: MORDEN BORDEN

FJORDEN GORDEN! which was Viking for:

YA-HOO!, RAVAGE, PILLAGE, PLUNDER,

MAIM AND PUT BIG HICKEYS ON ALL THEM FAIR DAMSELS!

Chorus: And it was Erik the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious

Erik the Awful, mercy sakes! and goodness gracious!

His appetite for slaughter was simply voracious

You gotta sleep with your sneakers by your side!

YES! And when the villagers heard that awful battle-cry:

* YA-HOOOOOOOOOOO! *

That's the one! They would run for their lives, fleeing over hills and

thru valleys to the river, whereupon they would walk mid-stream for 37 and 1/2

miles, climbing out on the low-lying branch, shinnying down a young sapling

onto rocky ground and leaping from stone to stone until they arrived one week

later at a secret cave 97 miles away, and as they sat down for the first time

to catch their breath, outside they heard:

YA-HOOOO! MORDEN BORDEN FJORDEN GORDEN!

Chorus: Yes, it was Erik the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious

Erik the Awful, turned up in the darndest places

Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces

You can run, but you cannot hide!

OH! And this time they cut south to Paris, bought tickets on the Orient

Express to Istanbul, hired a U-Haul to the Coast, jumped a Greek freighter

across the Mediterranian Sea to MON-golia, hooked up with a camel caravan into

the heart of the Gobi Desert, and as they paused at an oasis, to lift one

handful of cool water to their parched lips, over their shoulder they heard:

YA-HOOOO! MORDEN BORDEN FJORDEN GORDEN!

They fled to Calcutta!

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! *

They fled to the Himalayas!

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! *

Tokyo!

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! *

Toronto!

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! *

Toledo and Hahira, Georgia...

* YA-HOOOOOOOO! *

But it was no use! They finally succumbed to a savage plundering and

pillaging followed by a big hickey party on the outskirts of what is now

Washington, DC, where the decendants of Erik can still be found today,

working as Special Agents for the IRS!

Erik later amassed a small fortune posing for Molly Hatchet album covers,

and did stuntwork for Arnold Schwartzenegger in Conan the Barbarian! He also

won an Academy Award for his dual role as a train wreck and his tender

portrayal of King Kong's daddy! Oh, you might remember the end of that one:

there wasn't a dry eye in the house when he married the Empire State Building.

And who could forget the evening he ate the entire Kingdom of the East?

With no sugar?

Chorus: Erik the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious

Erik the Awful, the Hungry and Voracious

Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces

You can run but you cannot hide!

* YA-HOOOOOOOOOOO! *


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Lyrics by Ray Stevens

  \   A Handshake Will Do   Ahab The Arab   Ahab The Arab Popeye and Olive Oil   All the Way   Along Came Jones   America, Communicate With Me   Bad Little Boy   Ballad Of The Blue Cyclone   Be Your Own Best Friend   Blue Christmas   Bridget the Midget   Bridget The Midget (The Queen Of The Blues)   Chickie-Chickie Wah Wah   Cholly Wolly Chang Chang   Come to the U.S.A.   Cow-Cow Boogie   Dear Andy Griffith   Everything Is Beautiful   Family Funeral Fight   Five More Steps   Fly Over Country   Freddie Feelgood   Freddie Feelgood (And His Funky Little Five Piece ...   Funny Man   Further More   Gitarzan   Hang Up and Drive   Harry the Hairy Ape   Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas   Hearts Made Of Stone   Hello Mama   Help Me Make It Through The Night   Hermit Named Dave   High School Yearbook   Hugo The Human Cannonball   I hear our President talkin   I Need Your Help, Barry Manilow   I Saw Elvis In A U.F.O.   I'll Be Home For Christmas   I'm My Own Grandpa   I'm My Own Grandpaw   I'm My Own Grandpa   If 10% Is Good Enough For Jesus   If Ten Percent Is Good Enough For Jesus   Indian Love Call   Irish Builder   It's Been So Long   It's Me Again Margaret   It's Me Again, Margaret   It's Me Again Margaret   Jack Daniels You Lied To Me Again   Jambalaya   Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolvin...   Jingle Bells   Julius Played the Trumpet   Kings And Queens   Kiss A Pig   Kitty Cat's Revenge   Knock Him Out John   Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow   Little by Little   Little Egypt   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Mama Sang Bass   Marion Michael Morrison   Midnight In Baghdad   Missippi Squirel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival (1985)   Misty   Moonlight Special   Mr Businessman   Mr. Businessman   My Dad   Nashville   Nightmare Before Christmas   Obama Nation   Osama Yo Mama   Osama Yo' Mama (Alternate Version)   Osama-Yo-Mama   Over the Rainbow   Pfc Rhythm and Blues Jones   Purple People Eater   Rang Tang Ding Dong I'm The Japanese Sandman   Rock and Roll Show   Rockin' Boppin' Waltz   Safe at Home   Sant Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Clause Is Watching You   Saturday Night at the Movie   Scratch My Back (I Love It)   Sergeant Preston Of The Yukon   Sgt Preston Of The Yukon   She Belongs To Me   She Came in Through the Bathroom Window   Shriner's Convention   Shriner's Convention (1980)   Shriner's Convention   Silver Bracelet   Sittin' Up with the Dead   Sittin' Up With The Dead   Solar Powered Song   Southern Air   Speed Ball   Stand Up   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Morning Comin' Down   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Thank You   That's What She Means To Me   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The Beginning)   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The End?)   The Baptism of Stumpy Brown   The Battle Of New Orleans   The Camping Trip   The Cat Song   The Deoderant Song   The Deodorant Song   The Fool on the Hill   The Global Warming Song   The Haircut Song   The Mississippi Squirell Revival   The Pirate Song   The Preacher And The Bear   The Streak   The Streak (1974)   The Tender Trap   There Must Be A Pill For This   Three Fractured Factions   Throw The Bums Out   Too Drunk to Fish   Turn Your Radio On   Unwind   Vacation Bible School   Virgil And The Moonshot   Walkin' the Dog   We Are The Government   We The People   What Would I Do Without You   Who Do You Love?   Would Jesus Wear a Rolex   Xerox Xmas Letter   Yakety Yak   You Are So Beautiful   Young Love   Your Bozo's Back Again   Your Bozo's Back Again

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