Too Drunk to Fish
Ray Stevens

Recitation

Now me and Harold this buddy of mine decided that we'd go fishin'

one time, so we drove to the lake with my brand new bass boat. I

brought the fishin' poles the pork and beans the saltine crackers

and the canned sardines, and Harold brought all the booze one man

could tote. While I loaded the boat and filled the tank and tried to

get that motor to crank, Harold just sat there sippin' on a longneck

beer. While I was steerin' the boat and tyin' the plugs he was

drinkin' moonshine straight from the jug and he was

singing Melancholy Baby when we left the pier, huh, huh...

Chorus

Oh, never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin'

Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish

Just leave that fool at home to drink

He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink

Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish

Recitation

Well, I was concentratin', perfectin' my cast, hopin' to land a

trophy bass and Harold was havin' trouble tryin' to find the lake.

Layin' there beside him at his feet was an anchor line coiled up

real neat, Harold saw it went white as a ghost and

hollered Snake! Well, he jumped straight up and began to

yell. I said Sit down Harold and behave yourself. Can't you see

that ain't nothin' but a piece of rope. Ha, ha... Well, he was

scared to death, plumb out of his mind tryin' not to get bit by that

anchor line and he grabbed my shotgun blew a hole in the bottom of

the boat...(Blam! Harold! Glup... glub... glub)

Chorus

Never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin'

Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish

Just leave that fool at home to drink

He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink

Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish

Recitation

Now too drunk to fish is too drunk to swim. So I was dog paddlin'

and draggin' him and finally made it to a little sand bar just big

enough for two. It was way after dark when that helicopter came with

that big searchlight and callin' our names. And Harold looked up to

the sky and said, Lord is that you?

Slowly

And then he knelt there in that heavenly glow and said Lord you

know I ain't ready to go so if you pass me by tonight, oh... I will

reform. Then they threw down a raft and I paddled us home he never

touched a drop from that moment on. Ya know the Lord works in

mysterious ways his miracles to perform.

Chorus

Never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin'

Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish

Just leave that fool at home to drink

He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink

Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish

Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish...


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Lyrics by Ray Stevens

  \   A Handshake Will Do   Ahab The Arab   Ahab The Arab Popeye and Olive Oil   All the Way   Along Came Jones   America, Communicate With Me   Bad Little Boy   Ballad Of The Blue Cyclone   Be Your Own Best Friend   Blue Christmas   Bridget the Midget   Bridget The Midget (The Queen Of The Blues)   Chickie-Chickie Wah Wah   Cholly Wolly Chang Chang   Come to the U.S.A.   Cow-Cow Boogie   Dear Andy Griffith   Erik the Awful   Everything Is Beautiful   Family Funeral Fight   Five More Steps   Fly Over Country   Freddie Feelgood   Freddie Feelgood (And His Funky Little Five Piece ...   Funny Man   Further More   Gitarzan   Hang Up and Drive   Harry the Hairy Ape   Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas   Hearts Made Of Stone   Hello Mama   Help Me Make It Through The Night   Hermit Named Dave   High School Yearbook   Hugo The Human Cannonball   I hear our President talkin   I Need Your Help, Barry Manilow   I Saw Elvis In A U.F.O.   I'll Be Home For Christmas   I'm My Own Grandpa   I'm My Own Grandpaw   I'm My Own Grandpa   If 10% Is Good Enough For Jesus   If Ten Percent Is Good Enough For Jesus   Indian Love Call   Irish Builder   It's Been So Long   It's Me Again Margaret   It's Me Again, Margaret   It's Me Again Margaret   Jack Daniels You Lied To Me Again   Jambalaya   Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolvin...   Jingle Bells   Julius Played the Trumpet   Kings And Queens   Kiss A Pig   Kitty Cat's Revenge   Knock Him Out John   Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow   Little by Little   Little Egypt   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Mama Sang Bass   Marion Michael Morrison   Midnight In Baghdad   Missippi Squirel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival (1985)   Misty   Moonlight Special   Mr Businessman   Mr. Businessman   My Dad   Nashville   Nightmare Before Christmas   Obama Nation   Osama Yo Mama   Osama Yo' Mama (Alternate Version)   Osama-Yo-Mama   Over the Rainbow   Pfc Rhythm and Blues Jones   Purple People Eater   Rang Tang Ding Dong I'm The Japanese Sandman   Rock and Roll Show   Rockin' Boppin' Waltz   Safe at Home   Sant Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Clause Is Watching You   Saturday Night at the Movie   Scratch My Back (I Love It)   Sergeant Preston Of The Yukon   Sgt Preston Of The Yukon   She Belongs To Me   She Came in Through the Bathroom Window   Shriner's Convention   Shriner's Convention (1980)   Shriner's Convention   Silver Bracelet   Sittin' Up with the Dead   Sittin' Up With The Dead   Solar Powered Song   Southern Air   Speed Ball   Stand Up   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Morning Comin' Down   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Thank You   That's What She Means To Me   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The Beginning)   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The End?)   The Baptism of Stumpy Brown   The Battle Of New Orleans   The Camping Trip   The Cat Song   The Deoderant Song   The Deodorant Song   The Fool on the Hill   The Global Warming Song   The Haircut Song   The Mississippi Squirell Revival   The Pirate Song   The Preacher And The Bear   The Streak   The Streak (1974)   The Tender Trap   There Must Be A Pill For This   Three Fractured Factions   Throw The Bums Out   Turn Your Radio On   Unwind   Vacation Bible School   Virgil And The Moonshot   Walkin' the Dog   We Are The Government   We The People   What Would I Do Without You   Who Do You Love?   Would Jesus Wear a Rolex   Xerox Xmas Letter   Yakety Yak   You Are So Beautiful   Young Love   Your Bozo's Back Again   Your Bozo's Back Again

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