Shriner's Convention (1980)
Ray Stevens

Ray Stevens

Miscellaneous

Shriner's Convention (1980)

Here they come down main street, drums a flailing and the sirens a wailing what a roar

Bands are a playing and flags are a waiving, and the Vanguard's and Motorcycle Corps

Clowns are a clowning to the crowd and pinching every pretty girl who dares to smile

It's a glorious mess; everybody wears a fez the parade stretches out for a mile


It's a typical American phenomenon where all the members have a fine old time

It's the forty-third annual Convention of the Grand Mystic Royal Order

Of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine


Girls Meanwhile back at the Motel Hello, Operator, give me room 321, please, thank you Hello, Noble Lumpkin? This here is the illustrious Potentate. I said it's the illustrious Potentate. The illustrious Coy! Dad blame it! This here's Bubba! Coy, why ain't you at the parade? What? Well, how'd you get that big Harley up there in your room? What? I can't hear ya' Coy! Quit revving it up, son! Turn it off! Listen I just want you to know one thing. You have embarrassed us all, the whole Hahira Delegation! Now I'll see you at the banquet tonight, son. And you be there Coy, you hear me? Black tie! Seven o'clock! Be there! And Coy, don't answer the phone, udden udden! Mercy


Well, it was all arranged by the Ladies Auxiliary in the downtown Convention Hall

Cold Roast Beef, String Beans, Mashed Potatoes and nine boring speeches in all

And all the tables looked fine with their Mogen David Wine and Chrysanthemums on each side

And the Hahira leaders in their rented Tuxedos made the local hearts swell with pride



It's a typical American phenomenon where all the members have a fine old time

It's the forty-third annual Convention of the Grand Mystic Royal Order

Of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine


Meanwhile back at the Motel Operator, 321, please. Thank You. Hello, Coy? What are you doing? What do you mean, who is this! This is Bubba? Why wasn't you at the banquet? What do you mean all you had to wear was a Hawaiian flowerdy shirt? Well, you may think you're fooling some people, but I know what's going on. Yeah, Everybody seen the little redhead. That's right, everybody! Why she come running right through the dinner, right in the middle of the pineapple sherbet. Didn't have nothing on but your fez, Coy! Coy, you the only one's got a fez with a propeller on top!! Yeah, yeah and she was a yelling out the secret code, too, Coy. Dad blame it we gonna have to change it now, Coy! We gonna have to have a special meeting; we get back to Hahira, about your conduct at this here convention. Embarrassing!! Now Coy, you be at the secret conclave tonight! You hear me? And Coy, keep it a secret! Hah!


Well, it was a secret meeting in the dead of the night with mysterious sanctimony

In accordance with prescribed rituals of time honored ceremony

Matters of grave concern were weighed with dedicated caution

Like whether or not to raise at stud or draw or spit in the ocean


It's a typical American phenomenon where all the members have a fine old time

It's the forty-third annual Convention of the Grand Mystic Royal Order

Of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine



Meanwhile back at the Motel Operator, room three-twenty...How'd you know? Oh! Hello! Coy? Where have you been? No, you wasn't at the meeting! Well, I found out that at three o'clock this morning you was out there in your Fruit of the Loom's in the motel swimming pool with a bunch of them waitresses from the cocktail lounge! I just hope your mama don't find out about this, Coy! What? Well, how'd you get that big motorcycle up there on the high dive, Coy? Now Coy, dad blame it, that ain't no way to act. We supposed to be pillars of the community. When we get back to Hahira you can just turn in your ring and your tie tack cause Coy, hee, hee, you are out of the Shrine! You gonna be blackballed, boy! That's right! You might even have to pack your bags and leave town! What do you mean you might join the Hell's Angels? Coy! Don't you hang up on me! Hello, hello...Don't you crank that motorcycle! Who's that giggling in the background, Coy? Hello, hello operator! Yeah, we's cut off! Room 321. Dad blame it Coy! You don't hang up on the illustrious Potentate! I said the illustrious Potentate! This is Bubba! Bubba! Coy


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Lyrics by Ray Stevens

  \   A Handshake Will Do   Ahab The Arab   Ahab The Arab Popeye and Olive Oil   All the Way   Along Came Jones   America, Communicate With Me   Bad Little Boy   Ballad Of The Blue Cyclone   Be Your Own Best Friend   Blue Christmas   Bridget the Midget   Bridget The Midget (The Queen Of The Blues)   Chickie-Chickie Wah Wah   Cholly Wolly Chang Chang   Come to the U.S.A.   Cow-Cow Boogie   Dear Andy Griffith   Erik the Awful   Everything Is Beautiful   Family Funeral Fight   Five More Steps   Fly Over Country   Freddie Feelgood   Freddie Feelgood (And His Funky Little Five Piece ...   Funny Man   Further More   Gitarzan   Hang Up and Drive   Harry the Hairy Ape   Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas   Hearts Made Of Stone   Hello Mama   Help Me Make It Through The Night   Hermit Named Dave   High School Yearbook   Hugo The Human Cannonball   I hear our President talkin   I Need Your Help, Barry Manilow   I Saw Elvis In A U.F.O.   I'll Be Home For Christmas   I'm My Own Grandpa   I'm My Own Grandpaw   I'm My Own Grandpa   If 10% Is Good Enough For Jesus   If Ten Percent Is Good Enough For Jesus   Indian Love Call   Irish Builder   It's Been So Long   It's Me Again Margaret   It's Me Again, Margaret   It's Me Again Margaret   Jack Daniels You Lied To Me Again   Jambalaya   Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolvin...   Jingle Bells   Julius Played the Trumpet   Kings And Queens   Kiss A Pig   Kitty Cat's Revenge   Knock Him Out John   Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow   Little by Little   Little Egypt   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Makin' The Best Of A Bad Situation   Mama Sang Bass   Marion Michael Morrison   Midnight In Baghdad   Missippi Squirel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival   Mississippi Squirrel Revival (1985)   Misty   Moonlight Special   Mr Businessman   Mr. Businessman   My Dad   Nashville   Nightmare Before Christmas   Obama Nation   Osama Yo Mama   Osama Yo' Mama (Alternate Version)   Osama-Yo-Mama   Over the Rainbow   Pfc Rhythm and Blues Jones   Purple People Eater   Rang Tang Ding Dong I'm The Japanese Sandman   Rock and Roll Show   Rockin' Boppin' Waltz   Safe at Home   Sant Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Claus Is Watching You   Santa Clause Is Watching You   Saturday Night at the Movie   Scratch My Back (I Love It)   Sergeant Preston Of The Yukon   Sgt Preston Of The Yukon   She Belongs To Me   She Came in Through the Bathroom Window   Shriner's Convention   Shriner's Convention   Silver Bracelet   Sittin' Up with the Dead   Sittin' Up With The Dead   Solar Powered Song   Southern Air   Speed Ball   Stand Up   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down   Sunday Morning Comin' Down   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Surfin' U. S. S. R.   Thank You   That's What She Means To Me   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The Beginning)   The Ballad of the Blue Cyclone (The End?)   The Baptism of Stumpy Brown   The Battle Of New Orleans   The Camping Trip   The Cat Song   The Deoderant Song   The Deodorant Song   The Fool on the Hill   The Global Warming Song   The Haircut Song   The Mississippi Squirell Revival   The Pirate Song   The Preacher And The Bear   The Streak   The Streak (1974)   The Tender Trap   There Must Be A Pill For This   Three Fractured Factions   Throw The Bums Out   Too Drunk to Fish   Turn Your Radio On   Unwind   Vacation Bible School   Virgil And The Moonshot   Walkin' the Dog   We Are The Government   We The People   What Would I Do Without You   Who Do You Love?   Would Jesus Wear a Rolex   Xerox Xmas Letter   Yakety Yak   You Are So Beautiful   Young Love   Your Bozo's Back Again   Your Bozo's Back Again

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