Tim Tam Slam
Mal Webb

Once I met a girl, she said her name was PamnShe told me that I ought to try the Tim Tam SlamnShe asked me up for coffee, I thought it was a linen But we were there before I got to say your place or minenShe sat me down she filled the cupsnShe made it white with onenBut when we got the Tim Tams out I knew we had begunnWe were doin' the Tim Tam SlamnnShe showed me how it's done and you can do it toonGet yourself a hot drink and Tim Tam or twonThen bite both ends off one and use it as a strawnThen quickly gulp the lot before it ends up on the floornHot chocolate, tea or coffeenIt's a choice you'll have to maken'Cos when it comes to sugar rush, this really takes the cakenWe were doing the Tim Tam SlamnThe next thing I knew we'd had about three packets and ran outnWe had to start using homebrand Tim Tams... and they're crapnWe tried using Chocolate Teddy Bears, biting off one ear and one foot, but you feel a bit inhumane doing thatnI tried using a Kit Kat, but I got a hernianI tried using a Weetbix, but you just end up with porridge in the bottom of the mugnI even tried it with a mint slice and a curry laksa... and actually that was good... uuuurrrgh.nThe last thing I remember, Pam was opening a jar of Bonox (which is like essence of cow in a jar)nThere was just chocolate everywhere, chocolate everywhere, chocolate everywhere...nnThe next day when I woke upon the kitchen floornI felt like I had added on a kilogram or fournMy memory was murky, my mouth was much the samenHow can such wicked Biscuits go by such a cutesy namenPam burst in with three bags fullnShe'd just been at the shopnShe grabbed the kettle with a grin and filled it to the topnWe were doin' the Tim Tam SlamnnThat's right y'all, we were doin' it, doin' it nWe were doin' it, doin' it, doin' it, doin' it, doin' it, doin' itnWe were doin' the Tim Tam SlamnThat's right y'all, we were doin' itnIn the kitchen we were chewin' itnOn the hot plate we were brewin' itnYeah we were doin' itnWe were doin' the Tim Tam Slam, yeahnSo whenever you feel this way, don't delay do it today, slam away, it'll be OKnYou'll be doin' the Tim Tam Slam

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Lyrics by Mal Webb

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