These Are the Tales
Too Short

These are the tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
(Tune in to the History Channel)
These are the tales
(Learn a lesson biatch)
These are the tales that I tell so well
(Short Dog)

I'm thinkin' way back, it's been a long, long time
In 1980 I wrote my first rhyme
I like to spit a lot of game
But back then, I was just sayin' my name

I had a record player on my stereo
Got down on my knees with my radio
From Oakland, California with some new shit
I'm Sir Too Short, I'm bout to do this

In 1981, that's where it all begun
We do it for the money, we don't rap for fun
Five dolla's fo' a tape, Too Short and Freddy B
Money in my pocket's all I ever need

It was me, Fred B and Freddy Brack
Dipped the sermon sticks then we smoked them phat
While we rapped about the bitches and all the ho's
Can't be in the hole tryin' to ball without vogues

In '82 you was in the game
With a Falcon, Cougar or a Mustang
Me and Freddy B used to hit the turfs
With a bag of tapes puttin' in work, biatch

In '83 you hit a house party
A dolla' get you in and a dolla' fo' a drink
I'm on the turntable smokin' get-right
And at mid-night I'll be rappin' on the mic

I did the same thang, for the next two years
That's why they say my name, when I come through here
When I was Sixteen, I want'd to be a mack
I went to Fremont High with Lil' D and Black

Young ballers in the town livin' real phat
Never had the sack but I smoked a little crack
Crushed up in the weed, we call 'em bass rock Caddies
Goin' on them grimmies make them ho's call me daddy

These are the tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
These are the tales
These are the tales that I tell so well

It's been fifteen years since that shit happened
But Too Short don't stop rappin'
In '85, I was on the right page
Ten thousand niggaz, Short live on stage

Underground tapes was all they ever heard
But the whole crowd sang along with me word for word
And that changed everything
Went to Seventy Five Girls and hooked up with Dean

Real player-ism and that's no joke
Snort a lot of coke with ho's that like to smoke
I was makin' records but wasn't makin' money
You can take it seriously or you can think it's funny

By '87, I was on my own, started Dangerous Music
And I made the song These are the tales, the freaky tales
No radio or video or CD sales
Six platinums in a row, Ice Cube and Cool J
Who else did that shit? Short Dog from the Bay

These ho's try to play it safe
But I been mackin' hard since eighty-eight
And from eighty-nine to ninety-six
I was rappin' on the mic talkin' shit about a bitch

I'll retire ten times and I'll still be here
My old records sell about a half a mil' a year
I say Bitch get naked so pimpishly
Spit rhymes through decades and centuries

And bitches just love my dirty mouth
When I see you again I'ma cuss you out, biatch!
That's my gift, now all you rappers get to say that shit
I wont sue you, but that's the trademark
I was a grown ass man when you was playin' in the park lil' nigga

These are the tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
These are the tales
These are the tales that I tell so well

Now I'm in Atlanta I still love the O
I gave you my bitch but you can't have my flow
I guest appeared on 47 albums
Fuck McDonald and fuck Calvin

I get money with Erick Sermon when I'm in New York
I get respect, they call me Too Short
I live swell in ATL, 'cause I'm a player
We fuckin' hella ho's at X House in Decatur where it's greater

You know how we ride
I got love for all niggaz from the EastSide
It was me, Ant Banks and Shorty B
All we need to do is find my nigga PeeWee

We used to be on Murdel Street makin' funky songs
If you see him tell him Short said it's back on
Let's get this money, midwest down South
East coast, West coast ride out, biatch

These are the tales
(That's my gift to rap)
These are the tales that I tell so well
(You can have that word, say bitch all you want)

These are the tales
(All you regular fake ass niggas)
These are the tales that I tell so well
(You finally get to have Too Short's bitch, trick)


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Lyrics by Too Short

  16 Hoes   2 Bitches   4 tha Hustlas   A Week Ago   Ain't No Bitches   Ain't Nothin' but a Word to Me   Ain't Nothin' But A Word To Me (With Ice Cube)   Ain't Nothing Like Pimpin'   Ain't Nuthin Like Pimpin   All For Love   All My Bitches Are Gone   All the Time   Analyze The Game   Anything is Possible   Baby D   Bad Ways   Baller   Be My Dirty Love   Bitch   Blow Job Betty   Blow The Whistle   Blow the Whistle [Clean]   Blowjob Betty   Bonus Track   Boss   Broke Bitch   Burn Rubber   Burn Rubber Pt. 2   Buy You Some   Cali-O   California Girls   Call Her A Bitch   Call It Gangster   Call Me Daddy   Can I Get A -----   Can I Get a Bitch   Can I Hit It   Can't Get Enough   Can't Stay Away   Can't Stay Away (Can't Stay Away )   Can't Stay Away (Outro)   Can't Stop   Can’t Stay Away (Outro)   Candy Paint   Candy Paint (Featuring MC Breed)   Chase the Cat   Chase The Cat (Featuring Dolla Will)   Checking My Hoes   Choosin'   City of Dope   Cocktails   Cocktales   Coming Up $hort   Coming up Short   Crush Cologne   Cuss Words   CussWords   Dangerous Crew   Dead or Alive   Domestic Violence   Domestic Violence (Featuring E-40)   Don't Act Like That   Don't Ever Give Up   Don't Fight the Feelin'   Don't Fight the Feeling   Don't Fight the Intro   Don't Fuck for Free   Don't Hate the Player   Don't Stop Rappin'   Don’t Trust Her   Dope Fiend Beat   Double Header   Dum Ditty Dum   Everytime   Extra Dangerous Thanks   F.U.C.K. Y.O.U.   F.U.C.K.Y.O.U.   Fed Up   Female Funk   Female Players   Fire   First Date   Freaky Tales   Fuck My Car   Funk Session   G-2000   Game   Gangstas & Strippers   Gangstas and Strippers   Gangsters And Strippers   Get In Where You Fit In   Get It   Get off the Stage   Get That Cheese   Gettin' It   Gettin' It (Music Track With Sample)   Girl   Girl (Cocaine) That's Your Life   Girls   Givin up the Funk   Giving Up the Funk   Good Life   Gotta Get Some Lovin'   Hard on the Boulevard   Here We Go   Here We Go (J.D. Remix)   Hey   Hey, Let's Go   Hobo Hoeing   Hoes   Hog Ridin'   Hoochie   How Does It Feel   I Ain't Nothin But a Dog   I Ain't Nothin' But A Dog   I Ain't Trippin   I Ain't Trippin'   I Like It   I Luv   I Luv (Featuring Trick Daddy, Scarface and Daz)   I Must Confess   I Need A Freak   I Wanna Do It   I Want That   I Want To Be Free   I Want to Be Free (That's the Truth)   I Want Your Girl   I Wish I Was A Baller   I'm A Pimp   I'm a Playa   I'm a Player   I'm a Stop   I'm Gone   I'm Pimpin'   I've Been Watching You (Move Your Sexy Body)   In the Oaktown   In The Studio   In the Trunk   International Player   Intro: Shorty The Pimp   Invasion of the Flat Booty Bitches   It Ain't Over   It Don't Stop   It's About That Money (Bonus Track)   It's All Good   It's Time To Go   It's Your Life   It’s About That Money   Just Anotha Day   Just Another Day   Just Like Dope   Keep Bouncin' (Street)   Keep Fuckin' Me   Late Night Creep   Leave It Alone   Life is Too $hort   Life Is...Too Short   Life's Too Short   Lil' Shorty   Little Girls   Lollypops   Longevity   Looking for a Baller   Looking For a Dollar   Mack Attack   Mack Attack [*]   Maggot Brain   Married To The Game   Money in the Ghetto   Money Maker   Money on the Floor   More Freaky Tales   Movin in Your Chucks   Nasty Rhymes   Nation Riders   Nation Riders Anthem   Never Talk Down   No Love from Oakland   Nobody Does It Better   Nothing Feels Better   Oakland   Oakland Style   Old School   On My Level   Only The Strong Survive   Partytime   Paula & Janet   Paula & Janet   Paystyle   Paystyle (Bosko and Banks Mix)   Pimp Life   Pimp Me   Pimp Shit   Pimp the Ho   Pimpandho.Com   Pimpin Ken (Interlude)   Pimpin' Forever   Pimpin' Inc.   Pimpology   Playa   Playa fo Life   Playboy &hort   Playboy $hort   Playboy Short   Playboy Short II   Player Card   Player for Life   Players   Porno Bitch   Pull Them Panties Down   Punk Bitch   Quit Hatin' Pt. 1   Quit Hatin' Pt. 2   Rap Like Me   Real Niggaz   Recognize Game   Respect The Pimpin'   Rhymes   Sadity   Sample the Funk   Set Up   shake dat monkey   Shake It Baby   Shake That Monkey   She Know   She Loves Her   Shittin' On 'Em   Short but Funky   Short Dog's in the House   Short Short   Shut Up Nancy   So Watcha Sayin'?   So You Want to Be a Gangster   Somethin to Ride To   Something to Ride To   Sophisticated   Step Daddy   Still Blowin'   Strip Down   Survivin' the Game   Take My Bitch   Talkin' Shit   Tell The Feds   Thangs Change   That's How It Goes Down   That's Right   That's Why   Thats Right   The Dangerous Crew   The Ghetto   The Ghetto (Reprise)   The Magazine   The Old Fashioned Way   The Universal Mix   This How We Eat   This Is How We Eat   This My One   Top Down   Triple X   U Stank   Way Too Real   We Do This   What Happened to the Groupies   What She Gonna Do   What She Gonna Do?   What the Fuck   What's a Pimp?   Where They At?   Wild Wild West   Yo Neck, Yo Back, My Dick, And My Sack   You Can't Fuck with Us   You Know What I Mean   You Might Get G'eed   You Nasty

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