Songwriters: Armstrong, Timothy RossThese are the tales, the freaky talesthese are the tales, that i tell so wellyou dont like my dirty rapsyou can go to hellshort doggs on the mictellin cocktailsH-E-A-D,All you washed up hoes tryin to throw that PYou're just a big freak, you better not complain,When you hear these cocktails and you hear your name.If you a fake bitch, ain't no thingI'll pick up the phone and call Janine.If I call Marie, I know for a factI'm gettin sucked in my drop top cadillacI met this freak named NaomiStraight dick sucker worked me and my homie.She had a girlfriend, her name was VickiI pulled her to the side and let her suck my dick.She was fine as fuck, but can't fuck with TinaTina, Tina, the sperm cleana.I took her to my house and told her stripBaby got freaky-started doing the splits.I said, Bitch!!! Do what you wantCause this true blue mack won't even front.I fucked her with my finger, she tried to cumPussy so tight, it wouldn't give me noneI'm Sir Too $hort couldn't be no punkI'm trying to get funky cause I love the funkMy dick is big and her nigga had a little one,I didn't fuck her freaky ass, but it was still fun.I know you stop and wonder just what it is..It's the California lifestyle that I livesee im from the crew, dangerous bitchtellin everyone bout this freaky shitI know this girl named AnnetteGet her all alone and she'll suck your dickHella freaky...won't say no for shitYou and her all alone, nigga that's your bitch.I know another freak her name's JoanneI always get the pussy cuz I know I canFinest bitch around, ain't got no manEverytime she cross my mind I go fuck her again.She's like another freak named KristinaBitch so dumb, I named her misdemeanorCuz it had to be a crime to be that dumbI took her to my house and she let me cum in her mouthYou know I did all that shitShe got my number, if she beep me, I'm gonna call that bitch,And go dig in them guts like a gardener,If she starts screamin', I'm gonna fuck the bitch harder.Cause these are the tales, the freaky talesThese are the tales I tell so wellYou don't like my dirty raps you can go to hellCuz Short Dogg's on the mic tellin' cocktails.I meet the groupies, hookers like Kathy,Fucking M.C.'s cause she's so nasty,See her backstage trying to throw that ass,She just like the freaks and she had to pass me that pussyYou can't stop the bitchLet her roll on my rolls then I drop the bitchMy name is $hort my game is longI freak these hoes and sing these songs.I know a bitch named StephanieDo anything she can to have sex with meShe really don't bring out the best in meBut I love her fine ass laying next to me.She's like another freak named NicoleSo damn sprung on my diamonds and goldI took her to my house, she gave me the pantiesI fucked her so good she told her friend named Angie.Angie called me up about two weeks laterTalking some shit about do me playerSo I did her just like Tamara,Taking naked pictures with my poloroid camera.Next they told a bitch named RocquelleGot my skin all under her fingernailsShe was diggin in my back while I grind the shitThat was way back now I can't find the bitchBut if I do, I'll probably do the same againBreak the bitch for everything cuz I came to pimp.I'm Too Short baby, I don't stop mackinI grab the microphone and I don't stop rappinYou can bet your life as I spit these rapsI'll be fucking em' up like that...BITCH.I know a bitch her name was Sherry,I had to cut her loose cuz she wanted to get marriedPussy so good and I do mean very...Sometimes it's shaved and sometimes it's hairy.I'm Short Dogg ain't nothing niceYou ever make me mad and I'll fuck your wifeHave fun with your bitch and have her sprung on my dick.I guess I'll pull it out and just cum on your bitchLike my other little tramp named ErikaAnywhere I want to fuck that's where I fuckCuz she's the freakiest bitch in AmericaEverytime I get the pussy I just tear it up....Cuz these are the tales the freaky talesThese are the tales that I tell so wellYou don't like my dirty raps you can go to hellCuz Short Dogg is on the mic telling cocktales!!!!!BITCH!!And it dont stop till the beat baby
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