The Goat Song
Adam Sandler

I am a simple goat, I live on the back of a pick-up truck
The old man tied me here with a 3-foot rope
Am I happy he don't give a fuck
Hey goat, I'm gonna beat your head in with a hickory stick

Sometimes he uses his fists
He's filled with anger, and filled with rage
And tells me I smell like piss
His drink, Jimmy Bean, his chaser, a bear
After that, various alcohols
That's when the beatings get so severe
Asleep I pray he falls

But don't feel sorry for me
Things weren't always this bad
Why, when I was a young talking goat
The old man was just like my dad

I come from the hills of Europe
That's where I met the old man
He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions
He gave me a tuna can

Then he stopped in his tracks and he said, Hey goat
Would you like to live with me?
I've got a house with a pick-up truck
In a place across the sea

I said, Sure, why not, I've got no family
You seem like a nice guy
So we went off to America
The home of the apple pie

On the boat, the old man told me
I would be a present for his wife
A talking goat, he exclaimed
She'd never seen this in her life, I felt so special

Well, I just couldn't believe it
After all these years I finally had a friend
He trimmed my beard, he scraped my hooves
I prayed it would never end

But when we got to his house, there was no wife
Only a short, short letter
It said, I'm leaving you for your brother
Because he fucks me better

His eyes filled with tears of sadness
His heart was filled with grief
To soothe himself he drank a pint of Old Granddad
And beat me like a side of beef

I screamed, Send me back to the hills of Europe
He just shook his head and said, Nope
No one will ever leave me again
To make sure, put on this 3-foot fucking rope

Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years
My only friend is the am radio
Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by
But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw

At first they're excited to see a talking goat
They gather around to hear what I have to say
But I guess sometimes my stories go on too long
So they leave and giggle I need a bidet

But you know there was a night that I did get off the truck
When the old man was passed out drunk
Three neighborhood kids took me to a rock 'n' roll concert
The kind of music, old-school funk

It was the first time I got off the truck the music made me lose control
The lead singer asked if we were having fun
I said, Fucking crank that rock 'n' roll
The women at the show were beautiful
As they danced sexily on the soft grass
One of them even petted my fur, fuck me in the goat-ass

Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
And threw me in the mosh pit
They passed me around and treated me nice
Till I nervously sprayed them with shit
Then the music stopped and everything was quite
And all the rock 'n' rollers started a fucking goat-riot

Kill the goat, kill the goat
Kill the goat, kill the goat

They chased me under the bleachers
They chased me onto the street
They chased me into an alley
And said, I was a dead fucking goat meat

But then I saw a sight that I never thought I'd see
The old man swinging his hickory stick
But he wasn't swinging at me
Fuck you, pot-smoking turkeys don't you press your luck

The long hairs ran away screaming as I scrambled onto the truck
When we got home, the old man said, Goat, you broke the sacred law
No, please, sorry, shit
I'll let it go this time, but if you leave again I'll break your fucking jaw
Super, great, okay

Thank you old man, for saving my life
Thank you again and again
You could have let them barbecue me
But you acted like a friend

I'm not your friend, I don't even like you I'm just not drunk, he said
To prove his point, he drank a bottle of grain alcohol
And beat the fucking shit out of my head
Ow, ow, you're hurting me old man

That night I served a concussion
Deep inside my goat brain
I still cannot feel my tail bone
And I'll probably never walk straight again, yeah

I guess you'd call me a scapegoat
A punching bag for the old man to mock
Just because his wife left him
For his brother's abnormally large cock

He could have been my buddy
But instead he's a crazy old fuck
And once again, I go to sleep in my eternal home
The back of the pick-up truck

Goodnight, old man
Yeah, goodnight goat


  Purchase "The Goat Song"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "The Goat Song" Video   Play Spotify "The Goat Song" Song   View Wikipedia "The Goat Song" Entry   Receive Emails for Future Adam Sandler Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "The Goat Song"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You

Loading...

Lyrics by Adam Sandler

  Girl   Hot Water Burn Baby   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Will Go Back To School   Leabing Song Part II   Like A Hurricane   Masturbata   Medium Pace   Memory Lane   Mother's Day Song   Moyda   My Little Chicken   Sid & Alex   Somebody Kill Me   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Chanukah Song Pt. 3   The Cheerleader   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl   The Goat   The Hypnotist   The Lonesome Kicker   The Longest Pee   The Peeper   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Taliban Can   The Thanksgiving Song   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Welcome My Son   What The Hell Happened To Me?   Zittly Van Zittles   50 Ways To Get Bin Laden   50 Ways To Get Bin Laden   7 Foot Man   7 Foot Man   A Christmas Song   Assistant Principal's Big Day   Assistant Principal's Big Day   At A Medium Pace   At A Medium Pace   At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady)   Baby Got Jack   Bad boy friend   Bad Boyfriend   Best Friend   Billy Madison's Victory Song   Buddy   Buddy   Buddy[Moving Train]   Bum Biddy   Calling Home   Camp Granada   Champion   Chanukah Song Part 2   Chanukah Song Part II   Chanunak Song   Cool Guy 1   Cool Guy 1   Cool Guy 2   Cool Guy 2   Cool Guy 3   Cool Guy 3   Cool Guy 4   Cool Guy 4   Cool Guy 5   Cool Guy 5   Cordurory Blues   Corduroy Blues   Crazy Love   Crazy Love   Creepin' On The Mayor   Creepin' On The Mayor   Dancin' And Pantsin'   Dancin' And Pantsin'   Davey's Song   Davey's Song   Davey's Song   Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot)   Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot)   Dip Doodle   Dip Doodle   Do It For Mama   Do It For Your Mama   Fatty mc gee   Fatty Mcgee   Fatty Mcgee   Food Innuendo Guy   Food Innuendo Guy   Food Inuendo Guy   Forgetful Lucy   Forgetful Lucy   Four year sold   Four Years Old   Frogetful   Gay Robot   George Simmons Soon Will Be Gone   Girl   Girl   Good ol' David Letterman   Grow Old With You   Grow Old With You   Hanukkah Song Part One   Hanukkah Song Part Two   Haunaka   Hot Water Burn Baby   Hot Water Burn Baby   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Wanna Grow Old With You   I Wanna Grow Old With You   I Will Go Back To School   I Will Go Back To School   I'm So Wasted   I'm So Wasted   Inner Voice   Inner Voice   Intervention Song   Intervention Song   Joining The Cult   Joining The Cult   Kermet And Big Bird Stoned   Leabing Song Part II   Leabing Song Part II   Like A Hurricane   Like A Hurricane   Listen into the radio   Listenin' To The Radio   Listenin' To The Radio   Long Ago   Long Ago   Love Stinks   Lunchlady Land   Lunchlady Land   Masturbata   Masturbata   Medium Pace   Medium Pace   Memor lane   Memory Lane   Memory Lane   Mother's Day Song   Mother's Day Song   Mother's Day Song   Moyda   Mr. 'I Do' and the Doo Doos   Mr. Bake-o   Mr. Bake-O   Mr. Spindel's Phone Call   Mr. Spindel's Phone Call   My Little Chicken   My Little Chicken   Newlyweds, Sleepyheads   Ode to My Car   Ode to My Car   Oh Mom...   Oh Mom...   Operman   Patch Song   Pibb Goes Surfing   Pibb Needs the Hot Rocks   Pibb Takes the Mexican ATV Tour   Pibb Tries the Skateboarding   Pickin' Daisies   Pickin' Daisies   Piece Of Shit Car   Pot Head Anthem   Real Love   Red Hooded Sweatshirt   Respect   Retarded Burger King Song   Retarded Burger King Song   Right Field   Right Field   Santa Song   Santa Song   Secret   Sex Or Weight Lifting   She Comes Home To Me   She Comes Home To Me   Sid & Alex   Sid & Alex   Somebody Kill Me   Somebody Kill Me   Stan the Man   Steve Polychronopolous   Steve Polychronopolous   Stoned On Sesame Street   Summer Love   Sun Tan Lotion Song   Sweat Beatrice   Sweet Beatrice   Technical Foul   Technical Foul   Teenage Love On The Phone   Teenage Love On The Phone   Thanksgiving Song   The Adventures Of The Cow   The Adventures Of The Cow   The Amazing Willy Wanker   The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher   The Beating of a High School Science Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beer Song   The Boss and the Secretary   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Champion   The Chanuka Song   The Chanukah Song   The Chanukah Song (ii)   The Chanukah Song Part II   The Chanukah Song Part III   The Chanukah Song Pt. 3   The Chanukah Song, Part 3   The Cheerleader   The Cheerleader   The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview   The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman   The Goat   The Goat   The Grandma Song   The Hannukah Oing   The Hanukkah Song   The Hypnotist   The Hypnotist   The Kangaroo Song   The lone some kicker   The Lonesome Kicker   The Longest Pee   The Longest Pee   The Mayor of Pussytown   The Mule Session   The New Chanukah Song   The Peeper   The Peeper   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Respect Chant   The Taliban Can   The Taliban Can   The thanks giving song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song Performed By Adam Sandler   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Toll Booth Willie   Toll Booth Willie   Voodoo   Welcome My Son   Welcome My Son   What The Hell Happened To Me   What The Hell Happened To Me?   What The Hell Happened To Me?   Whitey   Whore! Where Are You?!   Zittly Van Zittles

Related Songs

  Bill Grogan's Goat - Children  The O Song - Sesame Street  Evil Little Goat - Pearl Jam  Black Goat - Barathrum  Mountain Goat Song - Trunks & Tales  He Gets Mad - Sesame Street  Goat War - Impaled Nazarene  Bill Grogan's Goat - Children Lyrics  Goat - Strapping Young Lad  Bill Grogan's Goat - Children  How To Talk To A Little Baby Goat - Tom T. Hall  King At The King Evil Is In - S.o.d  King At The King / Evil Is In...  Goat Girl - Tanya Donelly  Bondage Goat Zombie - Belphegor  Into The Coven - Blood Ceremony  Bill Grogan's Goat - Child  The Old Goat - Work In Progress  The Tiny Goat - The Gothic Archies  The Goat - Bloodhorse  The Goat - Showbread  Last Man At The Party - Jethro Tull  Cult Of The Goat - Impaled Nazarene  Great Life [Instrumental] - Goat  Do The Wrong Thing - Apt 3g  Crucified Goat Drenched In Blasphemic Blood...  Billy Goat Hill - The Kingston Trio  A Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow (Encore) [Live]...  Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow - Judy Garland  A Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow [From Little Nellie ...  A Pretty Girl Milking a Cow - Judy Garland  A Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow - Judy Garland  Pretty Girl Milking A Cow - Judy Garland  A Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow [Live]...  A Pretty Girl Milking Her Cow - Judy Garland  Goat - Static X  Goat - Static-X  Goat - Pitchfork  GOAT - Eminem  GOAT - 2 Chainz  The Milk Cow Blues - Kidnell Katie  Diabolical Force - Enthroned  Diabolic Force - Enthroned  Goat Justice - Impaled Nazarene  Nancy The Nanny Goat - Sesame Street  Cannibal Goat - Dualshock  Pour Some Blood, We Got This - Dimlite  Billy Goat Hill - Kingston Trio  Paddy McGintys Goat - Val Doonican  Angeli Mortis De Profundis - Belphegor  On Blackest Wings - Ancient  Capricorn - Harvey Sid Fisher  Dr McKew - Childrens Lyrics  Dr. Mckew - Peter Combe  Hide & Go Seek, Part I - Bunker Hill  Goat Sodomy - Impaled Nazarene  Molly Dee - Kingston Trio  Soldier (the Goat Remix 1st verse) - Eminem  Hide and Seek [*] - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts  Hide and Seek - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts  Hide And Seek - Joan Jett And The Blackhearts  Hide and Seek - Joan Jett  Goat Annie - Carole King  The Denver Boot Redux - Jay Munly  The Judas Goat - Killing Joke  Goat And The Moon - Archgoat  Animal Rhymes - Children  The Fez (Live version) - Dead Milkmen  The Fez - Dead Milkmen  Mountain Goat - Breathe Owl Breathe  Yellow Coat - Screamin' Jay Hawkins  Animal Rhymes - Children Lyrics  An Evolution Of Horns - Absu  Spring Comes To Spiddal - Waterboys  The Forest of N'gai - Rotting Christ  Beer! Metal! Sex! - Abigail  They All Must Be Slaughtered - Melvins, The  Fukk the Blood of Christ - Belphegor  Fatal Induction - Obliveon  Perversions of the ancient goat - Goatwhore  Society Of Fear - Face The Fact (Nld)  Baphomet - Besatt  They All Must Be Slaughtered - The Melvins  Tonight The Witches Ride - Sacred Steel  Three Mile Smile - Aerosmith  Treacle brown - Bee Gees  Digital Goat Masque - Aborym  The Fez - The Dead Milkmen  The Goat [Instrumental] - The High Llamas  The Virtual Goat - Goretex  The Golden Goat - Residents  Kissing the Goat - Ancient Ceremony  Disseminated - Soul Coughing  Hush Little Baby - Carly Simon  Three Mile Smile - Aerosmith  Mortification Blood Red Razor Blade...  Mortification / Blood Red Razor Blade...  Beware of Falling Rocks - Steve Cradock  Fear Not for Man - Fela Kuti  Goat Skull Crown - Obliteration  Goat Noulee Pilua - Aragon Emilio  Goat Smoking Blues - Belzebong  Hordes of the Goat Kult - Obsessör  Brotherhood Of The Goat - Lux Ferre  Ceremonial Whisper of the Ancient Goat...  Dance of Darkness - Ereb Altor  Into the Desolate Halls of Death - Die Hard  Angry Billy Goat Terrorizes Town - Audrey Horne  A Dog and a Goat - DJ Champion   There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly - Raffi  Milk Your Goat - Example  G.O.A.T (EP) - Eminem  G.O.A.T - Eminem  The Whorehouse Coven - Arkhon Infaustus  The Swollen Goat (In The Wake Of The) - Clutch  Suicide Sheep, Goat Lovers and Hectic Toads...  Hard Lines, Sunken Cheeks - Pantera  The Continuity Of Land And Blood - Naer Mataron  Mockingbird - Peter, Paul and Mary  Mockingbird - Peter, Paul & Mary  MOCKINGBIRD - Peter, Paul & Mary  Black Bock - Melvins  Black Bock - Melvins, The  Black Bock - The Melvins  All Wet - Ryan Montbleau  She Who Is To Come - Deviser  Sadogoat - Impaled Nazarene  Four More Beers - Rick Moranis  I Wanted to Be Wrong - R.E.M.  Hush Little Baby - Unknown  Faint Goat - 13ghosts  Trumps Of An Archangel - Ancient  Burning Down - R.E.M  Burning Down - R.E.M.  Bill Goat - The Tony Rich Project  Goat-Core - Agents of Satan  Night Goat - Melvins  Scape Goat - Criminal  Hallelujah Goat [*] - Volbeat  Goat Father - Cadaver  Scape Goat - Jacobs Dream  Scape Goat - Jacob's Dream  Night Goat - Melvins, The  Plasmas Goat - Sabbat (Jpn)  Goat Perversion - Impaled Nazarene  Hallelujah Goat - Volbeat  Bloated Goat - Cloud Rat   Billy Goat - Tony Rich Project  Lyin' Goat - Laika  Perfect Goat - Residents  Night Goat - The Melvins  From The Starry Voids - Deviser  Circle Of The Castrian Mountains - Decayed  Looks Is Deceiving - The Gladiators  Hush Little Baby [#] - Joan Baez  Hush Little Baby - Don McLean  Hush, Little Baby - Child  Scapegoat - Fear Factory  Hush, Little Baby - Children  Hush Little Baby - Joan Baez  Hush, Little Baby - Nina Simone  Fortune Presents Gifts Not According to the Book...  I Grew Up - Jim Reeves  His Life Is My Denim Paradise, All Day, Every Day...  Goatwar - Aasgard  Hush Little Baby - Various Artists  They All Must Be Slaughtered - Melvins  Diabolism (The Seed And The Sower)...  Satan's Children - Ancient  In the Shadow of the Horns - Darkthrone  In the Shadow of the Horns - Dark Throne  Southern Voice - Tim McGraw  Latter Day Mormon Ritual - Agoraphobic Nosebleed  Latter Day Mormon Ritual - Agoraphobic Nosebleed  Fantasizing To The Third Of The Pagan Vision (Quot...  Siembamba [Explicit] - Die Antwoord  Jump Back - Candido  In The Shadows Of The Horns - Carpathian Forest  Fantasizing To The Third Of The Pagan Vision...  Six-Gun Gorgon Dynamo...  Ice Rock - Batmobile  Old Dan Tucker - Johnny Horton  Lucifer Incestus - Belphegor  Blurred Lines Parody - Bart Baker  Love Catastrophe - Shudder To Think  Betrayal And Vengeance - Dark Fortress  Hush Li'l Baby (With Carly Simon)...  Hush Li'l Baby (With Carly Simon) - Jim Brickman  Angry Rhetorical Questions - Goat Bastard  Knock Knock! - Goat Bastard  I can resist everything but temptation...  Crave - Lubricated Goat  Half-Life - Lubricated Goat  You Remain Anonymous - Lubricated Goat  Next World - Lubricated Goat  20th Century Rake - Lubricated Goat  The Day in Rock - Lubricated Goat  Lost Time - Lubricated Goat  The Soul Remains in Pain - Lubricated Goat  Longer - Hogan's Goat