LyricMeaning

The Goat Song
Adam Sandler

I am a simple goat, I live on the back of a pick-up truck
The old man tied me here with a 3-foot rope
Am I happy he don't give a fuck
Hey goat, I'm gonna beat your head in with a hickory stick

Sometimes he uses his fists
He's filled with anger, and filled with rage
And tells me I smell like piss
His drink, Jimmy Bean, his chaser, a bear
After that, various alcohols
That's when the beatings get so severe
Asleep I pray he falls

But don't feel sorry for me
Things weren't always this bad
Why, when I was a young talking goat
The old man was just like my dad

I come from the hills of Europe
That's where I met the old man
He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions
He gave me a tuna can

Then he stopped in his tracks and he said, Hey goat
Would you like to live with me?
I've got a house with a pick-up truck
In a place across the sea

I said, Sure, why not, I've got no family
You seem like a nice guy
So we went off to America
The home of the apple pie

On the boat, the old man told me
I would be a present for his wife
A talking goat, he exclaimed
She'd never seen this in her life, I felt so special

Well, I just couldn't believe it
After all these years I finally had a friend
He trimmed my beard, he scraped my hooves
I prayed it would never end

But when we got to his house, there was no wife
Only a short, short letter
It said, I'm leaving you for your brother
Because he fucks me better

His eyes filled with tears of sadness
His heart was filled with grief
To soothe himself he drank a pint of Old Granddad
And beat me like a side of beef

I screamed, Send me back to the hills of Europe
He just shook his head and said, Nope
No one will ever leave me again
To make sure, put on this 3-foot fucking rope

Present day, I've been on the truck for 51 years
My only friend is the am radio
Sometimes the neighborhood children stop by
But it's always rocks and beer bottles they throw

At first they're excited to see a talking goat
They gather around to hear what I have to say
But I guess sometimes my stories go on too long
So they leave and giggle I need a bidet

But you know there was a night that I did get off the truck
When the old man was passed out drunk
Three neighborhood kids took me to a rock 'n' roll concert
The kind of music, old-school funk

It was the first time I got off the truck the music made me lose control
The lead singer asked if we were having fun
I said, Fucking crank that rock 'n' roll
The women at the show were beautiful
As they danced sexily on the soft grass
One of them even petted my fur, fuck me in the goat-ass

Then some long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns
And threw me in the mosh pit
They passed me around and treated me nice
Till I nervously sprayed them with shit
Then the music stopped and everything was quite
And all the rock 'n' rollers started a fucking goat-riot

Kill the goat, kill the goat
Kill the goat, kill the goat

They chased me under the bleachers
They chased me onto the street
They chased me into an alley
And said, I was a dead fucking goat meat

But then I saw a sight that I never thought I'd see
The old man swinging his hickory stick
But he wasn't swinging at me
Fuck you, pot-smoking turkeys don't you press your luck

The long hairs ran away screaming as I scrambled onto the truck
When we got home, the old man said, Goat, you broke the sacred law
No, please, sorry, shit
I'll let it go this time, but if you leave again I'll break your fucking jaw
Super, great, okay

Thank you old man, for saving my life
Thank you again and again
You could have let them barbecue me
But you acted like a friend

I'm not your friend, I don't even like you I'm just not drunk, he said
To prove his point, he drank a bottle of grain alcohol
And beat the fucking shit out of my head
Ow, ow, you're hurting me old man

That night I served a concussion
Deep inside my goat brain
I still cannot feel my tail bone
And I'll probably never walk straight again, yeah

I guess you'd call me a scapegoat
A punching bag for the old man to mock
Just because his wife left him
For his brother's abnormally large cock

He could have been my buddy
But instead he's a crazy old fuck
And once again, I go to sleep in my eternal home
The back of the pick-up truck

Goodnight, old man
Yeah, goodnight goat


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Lyrics by Adam Sandler

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High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher   The Beating of a High School Science Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beer Song   The Boss and the Secretary   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Champion   The Chanuka Song   The Chanukah Song   The Chanukah Song (ii)   The Chanukah Song Part II   The Chanukah Song Part III   The Chanukah Song Pt. 3   The Chanukah Song, Part 3   The Cheerleader   The Cheerleader   The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview   The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman   The Goat   The Goat   The Grandma Song   The Hannukah Oing   The Hanukkah Song   The Hypnotist   The Hypnotist   The Kangaroo Song   The lone some kicker   The Lonesome Kicker   The Longest Pee   The Longest Pee   The Mayor of Pussytown   The Mule Session   The New Chanukah Song   The Peeper   The Peeper   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Respect Chant   The Taliban Can   The Taliban Can   The thanks giving song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song Performed By Adam Sandler   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Toll Booth Willie   Toll Booth Willie   Voodoo   Welcome My Son   Welcome My Son   What The Hell 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