Joining The Cult
Adam Sandler

[Sounds of Basketball being shot around]
Sandler: Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult.
Allen: Now, that's ridiculous.
Sandler: Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too.
Allen: What are you talking about?
Sandler: Hey, don't fuck me on this, man, just sign up.
Allen: No, I'm not going to join a cult!
Sandler: I can't believe you're pulling this shit on me after Monday
Night --
Allen: What?
Sandler: -- I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to
Watch that other show and we watched your show -- I did that for you!
Allen: Yeah, well, you kept flippin' back to the game.
Sandler: I WANTED TO SEE THE FUCKIN' SCORE! Whadda you gotta do that's
So fucking importnat you can't join the religious cult with me?
Allen: Well, I was gonna go sunbathing.
Sandler: Oh, boy, no no, I don't think you should do that. Because this
Guy, Russell -- he's the leader-guy of the cult --
Allen: -- yeah --
Sandler: -- he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sun
Being bad, like the beast can't come out because the sun's too bright
And the sun hurts his eyes or something -- you show up all sunburned and
That guy's gonna get pissed at you and me!
Allen: Well, I'm not in the cult, so I don't have to worry about
Pissing the leader guy off!
Sandler: Look, I'm -- starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult
Guy's been saying -- some of it makes a lot of sense!
Allen: Well, good, but I don't want to join the cult. We can still hang
Out; I just won't be in it with you.
Sandler: The point is, I'm not gonna have time to hang out with you
Because I'm gonna be fuckin' busy with this fuckin' cult!
Allen: So I'll visit on weekends -- we'll work it out.
Sandler: No, the weekends are like the busiest time -- that's when we
Go to flea malls and fuckin' malls and talk people into joining, man!
Allen: Can I join for just a little while? I told my dad I'd go visit
Him in Florida in three weeks.
Sandler: Well, just, we'll ask then, but we gotta join now.
Allen: What's the hurry?
Sandler: There's a girl I wanna meet there, what the fuck's your
Problem?
Allen: Well, I mean I don't really have to believe in this stuff, do
I?
Sandler: No, no, just fuckin' tell everybody you believe in this shit
-- when they say the sun sucks, go, Yeah, fuck the sun, I fuckin' hate
It too, long live the fuckin' beast.
Allen: I don't know, man. This is crazy.
Sandler: Look, they're gonna give you clothers, a free haircut, you're
Gonna get food --
Allen: -- it's not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?
Sandler: It's gonna be a haircut, all right? You said you need a
Haircut, they're gonna fuckin' cut your hair. You're going in, saving
Twelve bucks, just fuckin' do it!
Allen: Do you think the hot girl has a friend for me?
Sandler: Yeah, sure, and if she doesn't, she'll go out and recruit one
For you!
Allen: Well, all right. But, hey, if I don't like it, I'm going to
Escape, man.
Sandler: OK, that's up to you.
Three weeks later!
[Chanting repeatedly] The night time is the right time! The night time
Is the right time!
Sandler: Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?
Allen: Oh, this is the best thing I ever did. Thank you.
Sandler: You're not mad at them making you, uh, kill your father, are
You?
Allen: You know, it's like they said. It was the only way to save him.
Sandler: You're a good guy.
Allen: You're a better one.
[Chanting resumes]


  Purchase "Joining The Cult"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "Joining The Cult" Video   Play Spotify "Joining The Cult" Song   View Wikipedia "Joining The Cult" Entry   Receive Emails for Future Adam Sandler Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "Joining The Cult"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You

Loading...

Lyrics by Adam Sandler

  Girl   Hot Water Burn Baby   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Will Go Back To School   Leabing Song Part II   Like A Hurricane   Masturbata   Medium Pace   Memory Lane   Mother's Day Song   Moyda   My Little Chicken   Sid & Alex   Somebody Kill Me   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Chanukah Song Pt. 3   The Cheerleader   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl   The Goat   The Hypnotist   The Lonesome Kicker   The Longest Pee   The Peeper   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Taliban Can   The Thanksgiving Song   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Welcome My Son   What The Hell Happened To Me?   Zittly Van Zittles   50 Ways To Get Bin Laden   50 Ways To Get Bin Laden   7 Foot Man   7 Foot Man   A Christmas Song   Assistant Principal's Big Day   Assistant Principal's Big Day   At A Medium Pace   At A Medium Pace   At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady)   Baby Got Jack   Bad boy friend   Bad Boyfriend   Best Friend   Billy Madison's Victory Song   Buddy   Buddy   Buddy[Moving Train]   Bum Biddy   Calling Home   Camp Granada   Champion   Chanukah Song Part 2   Chanukah Song Part II   Chanunak Song   Cool Guy 1   Cool Guy 1   Cool Guy 2   Cool Guy 2   Cool Guy 3   Cool Guy 3   Cool Guy 4   Cool Guy 4   Cool Guy 5   Cool Guy 5   Cordurory Blues   Corduroy Blues   Crazy Love   Crazy Love   Creepin' On The Mayor   Creepin' On The Mayor   Dancin' And Pantsin'   Dancin' And Pantsin'   Davey's Song   Davey's Song   Davey's Song   Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot)   Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot)   Dip Doodle   Dip Doodle   Do It For Mama   Do It For Your Mama   Fatty mc gee   Fatty Mcgee   Fatty Mcgee   Food Innuendo Guy   Food Innuendo Guy   Food Inuendo Guy   Forgetful Lucy   Forgetful Lucy   Four year sold   Four Years Old   Frogetful   Gay Robot   George Simmons Soon Will Be Gone   Girl   Girl   Good ol' David Letterman   Grow Old With You   Grow Old With You   Hanukkah Song Part One   Hanukkah Song Part Two   Haunaka   Hot Water Burn Baby   Hot Water Burn Baby   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Wanna Grow Old With You   I Wanna Grow Old With You   I Will Go Back To School   I Will Go Back To School   I'm So Wasted   I'm So Wasted   Inner Voice   Inner Voice   Intervention Song   Intervention Song   Joining The Cult   Kermet And Big Bird Stoned   Leabing Song Part II   Leabing Song Part II   Like A Hurricane   Like A Hurricane   Listen into the radio   Listenin' To The Radio   Listenin' To The Radio   Long Ago   Long Ago   Love Stinks   Lunchlady Land   Lunchlady Land   Masturbata   Masturbata   Medium Pace   Medium Pace   Memor lane   Memory Lane   Memory Lane   Mother's Day Song   Mother's Day Song   Mother's Day Song   Moyda   Mr. 'I Do' and the Doo Doos   Mr. Bake-o   Mr. Bake-O   Mr. Spindel's Phone Call   Mr. Spindel's Phone Call   My Little Chicken   My Little Chicken   Newlyweds, Sleepyheads   Ode to My Car   Ode to My Car   Oh Mom...   Oh Mom...   Operman   Patch Song   Pibb Goes Surfing   Pibb Needs the Hot Rocks   Pibb Takes the Mexican ATV Tour   Pibb Tries the Skateboarding   Pickin' Daisies   Pickin' Daisies   Piece Of Shit Car   Pot Head Anthem   Real Love   Red Hooded Sweatshirt   Respect   Retarded Burger King Song   Retarded Burger King Song   Right Field   Right Field   Santa Song   Santa Song   Secret   Sex Or Weight Lifting   She Comes Home To Me   She Comes Home To Me   Sid & Alex   Sid & Alex   Somebody Kill Me   Somebody Kill Me   Stan the Man   Steve Polychronopolous   Steve Polychronopolous   Stoned On Sesame Street   Summer Love   Sun Tan Lotion Song   Sweat Beatrice   Sweet Beatrice   Technical Foul   Technical Foul   Teenage Love On The Phone   Teenage Love On The Phone   Thanksgiving Song   The Adventures Of The Cow   The Adventures Of The Cow   The Amazing Willy Wanker   The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher   The Beating of a High School Science Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beer Song   The Boss and the Secretary   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Champion   The Chanuka Song   The Chanukah Song   The Chanukah Song (ii)   The Chanukah Song Part II   The Chanukah Song Part III   The Chanukah Song Pt. 3   The Chanukah Song, Part 3   The Cheerleader   The Cheerleader   The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview   The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman   The Goat   The Goat   The Goat Song   The Grandma Song   The Hannukah Oing   The Hanukkah Song   The Hypnotist   The Hypnotist   The Kangaroo Song   The lone some kicker   The Lonesome Kicker   The Longest Pee   The Longest Pee   The Mayor of Pussytown   The Mule Session   The New Chanukah Song   The Peeper   The Peeper   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Respect Chant   The Taliban Can   The Taliban Can   The thanks giving song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song Performed By Adam Sandler   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Toll Booth Willie   Toll Booth Willie   Voodoo   Welcome My Son   Welcome My Son   What The Hell Happened To Me   What The Hell Happened To Me?   What The Hell Happened To Me?   Whitey   Whore! Where Are You?!   Zittly Van Zittles

Related Songs

  I Didn't Want To Join Your Stupid Cult Anyway...  What's My Cult Again - Blink 182  Tempo Of The Damned - Exodus  Cult of Personality [Album Version]...  Cult Status - 1990s  I'm A Cult Hero - The Cure  Cult of Personality - Living Colour  Cult of Personality (Live) - Living Colour  I'm a Cult Hero (Cult Hero Live In the Marquee Clu...  Cult Leader - Non Phixion  Burn Waco - Cavalera Conspiracy  I'm A Cult Hero - Cure, The  Cult Status - The 1990s  cult of personality - WWE  Cult Of One - Radakka  Joining the Dots (Acoustic) - Arctic Monkeys  Joining The Dots - Arctic Monkeys  Cult of Love - Dum Dum Girls  The Perfect Cult - Deathstars  Cult Without a Name - Danzig  Cult W/Out A Name - Danzig  Guyana The Cult Of The Damned - Manowar  Cult Of Cool - The O.C. Supertones  Guyana - Manowar  Guyana (in The Cult Of The Damned) - Manowar  I'm A Cult Hero - Cure  I'm A Cult Hero - Cure  Digital Sands - Lamb Of God  The Voice Of The Cult - Chastain  Hippie Cult - Agathocles  The Cult Song - Shannon and the Clams  Cult Of The Goat - Impaled Nazarene  CULT - Emis Killa  Cult of Youth - The Elsinores  Sail On To The Eternal Reward - The Cult  Witch Cult - Abney Park  Drums - Blue Oyster Cult  On The Way To School - Alvin & The Chipmunks  On The Way To School - Twins  Buck s boogie - Blue Oyster Cult  Bass solo5 guitars - Blue Oyster Cult  Cult of Love - Art Imperial  Joining the Circus - The Vindictives  Joining The Army - Lucero  Joining The Circus - Far  Joining the Army - Lucero  Me 262dominance and submission - Blue Oyster Cult  Ymaelodi \u00c3\u201ar Ymylon...  All The Way - Newsboys  Shonen Knife - Shonen Knife  Kill The Music - Venom  Vultures Are People Too - My Passion  Faith Is A Cobra - Cobra Skulls  Joining You - Alanis Morissette  Cult - Evile  Cult-Of-Snap - Snap  The Lion-head - Deathchain  Hands Across The Sea - Olivia Newton-John  Cult Of Chaos - Arch Enemy  Cult Of Love - Low Pop Suicide  Animal Magic - Peter Gabriel  Animal Magic - Gabriel Peter  Stay - H Blockx  In-between Remix - Drip  Ultra-Motion - Annihilator  Joining a Fan Club - Puffy AmiYumi  Eclipse Of The Sun Cult - Nostradameus  Being There - The June Brides  The Cocksucker Club - Pansy Division  Joining a Fan Club - Jellyfish  Cult - Multi Purpose Chemical  Cult - Gaza  Cult - Slayer  Cult - Skinny Puppy  Cult - Octopus Kraft  Cult Of The Hunter - Ghoul  Cult of Mary - Gallows  Uncharted Waters - Agna Moraine's Autobiography  We Cry Out - Warrior Soul  Grave Desecrator - Blood Tsunami  Won't It Be Wonderful There - Dailey & Vincent  Skyscraper - Bad Religion  Keeper of the Ledger - Woods Of Ypres  Skyscraper - Streetlight Manifesto  Welcome Thy Rite - Stormwarrior  Cult Hero Come Home [demo] - My Favorite  Post-Enlightenment Executor - Fleshgod Apocalypse  Victim Of The Cult - B*Witched  The Last Battle - Sabaton  The Rest Of The Score - Blue Oyster Cult  If Only I Could - Wendy Matthews  Feeding the Witches - Tanita Tikaram  The Unballed Ballad Of The New Folksinger...  Rot In Your Race - Backtrack  Victim Of The Cult - Bewitched  Skyscraper (Acoustic) - Bad Religion  Cult Malevolence - Elitist  Kill the Cult Leader - Anders Manga   Zombie Flesh Cult - Facebreaker  Black Metal Cult - Darkest Oath  Witch Cult Ternion - Blackthorn   Our Cult Continues! - Cardinals Folly  All The Trees Of The Field Will Clap Their Hands...  Sex Cult from the University - Alvarius B.  Junky (Gungho from .CULT) - Noah23  Same Old Cult Story - Celestial Shore  Black Demons - Gruesome Stuff Relish  Plague Boyz Ft. .Cult (Yawns) - Noah23  Witch Cult Ternion (Mater Mortis) - Blackthorn   Cult 91 (3 AM Mixx) - Cardopusher  Hello, My Treacherous Friends - Ok Go  Cognition - Magrudergrind  Modern Reapers (Blue Oyster Cult The Knocks)...  Ten Feet (Yawning Boy of .CULT) - Noah23  Kingdom of Damnation (Where Hope Turns Dripping Re...  Let Everything That Has Breath - Passion  Living in a Nightmare - Dark Moor  Burnin' for You (Blue Oyster Cult cover)...  Todos Buenos - Boney M.  Song Of Life - Libera  Breathe - Disturbed  Shoulder Gorilla - NK  You Don’t Need A Weatherman (cult x zomby remix ...  As Deep As Any Burial - Cradle Of Filth  You Are My Joy (Reprise) - Aretha Franklin  Hybrid Cult - Scar Symmetry  Dargor, Shadowlord Of The Black Mountain...  Cult Of Snap - Snap  Crop Dusting - Agoraphobic Nosebleed  Drugging the Control Group - Agoraphobic Nosebleed  Drugging The Control Group - Agoraphobic Nosebleed  Crop Dusting - Agoraphobic Nosebleed  South American Death - Aura Noir  New Boys (I'm Falling Club Mixx by Sean Ragon of C...  Still I Am Sad - Boney M.  Downward Spiral Into Madness - Anata  Everything That Has Breath - All Together Separate  Fan Club - The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir  Johnny's Odyssey - Mac Demarco  Cult of the Living Dead - Avulsed  Make A Fool - Wired All Wrong  Cult Ritual - Sarke  A New Culture Is Born - Dieter Meier  A New Culture Is Born - Blank & Jones  Scimitar - Deathchain  Let Everything That Has Breath...  New World Order [#][Demo Version] - Megadeth  New World Order Demo - Megadeth  Won t It Be Wonderful There - Dailey and Vincent  Slowly We Walk Together - War  Forever Enslaved - Sacrifice  Robot Lights Inside My Head - Cloud Cult  Cult of Blood - Necrophobic  The Path - Down  Zombie Ritual - Death  Zombie Ritual - Avulsed  Zombie Ritual - Sam Kinison  I Have Decided to Join the Airforce [Version]...  I Have Decided to Join the Airforce - Bee Gees  I've Decided To Join The Airforce - The Bee Gees  You Are My Joy - Aretha Franklin  Horse With No Legs - Brandmeier Jonathon  Red Code Cult - Septic Flesh  Rabid - Mortician  Parade Of The Lifeless - Assuck  Greater - Elevation Worship  Greater (Live) - Elevation Worship  Neue Regel - Queensryche  Zombie Ritual (Death cover) - Sepultura  Zombie Ritual - Sepultura  Everything That Has Breath - All Together Seperate  New World Order (Demo) - Megadeth  I've Decided To Join The Airforce - Bee Gees  Waiting By The Satellites - Behind Sapphire  New World Order [Demo Version] - Megadeth  New World Order (Demo Version) - Megadeth  New World Order [#][*][Demo Version] - Megadeth  Ciggie Time - The Cult  For a Better Tomorrow - Declan Galbraith  God's Plan - Daniel O'Donnell  In The Woods... - In the Woods  Autonomy - Cubanate  Pact Of The Black Templars - Drowning The Light  Doubting Woman - Vic Chesnutt  Metalized Blood - Desaster  A Lonely Soul / Hymn To A Dream - Ophthalamia  Big Ship - Cardiacs  The Cult of Dionysus - The Orion Experience  New World Order - Megadeth  Dargor, Shadowland Of The Black Mountain...  Collision Cult - UK Subs  Red Oyster Cult - Guster  Small World - Bette Midler  Small World"(feat. Peter Reigert - Bette Midler  Bigger Than The Devil...  Way Out East - Mike Stern  Cult Extraction - Scissorfight  Shoulder Gorilla - North Korea  The SRC - Overkill  Nothing Realistic - Am I Blood