The Buffoon And The Valedictorian
Adam Sandler

And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's
valedictorian.
Valedictorian: I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people
are intimidated by my high academic achievement.
Buffoon: This movie sucks shit!
Valedictorian: Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up, but Ciscel thought it was
too preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly.
Buffoon: Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!
Valedictorian: Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her
maternal biology may play a role in that. She looks fabulous for a woman
her age, doesn't she?
Buffoon: I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin'
head off.
Valedictorian: Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon
for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their
maturing process.
Buffoon: That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives
everybody head.
Valedictorian: Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels
promiscuity is the only way to obtain it.
[Buffoon eating popcorn]
Buffoon: This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed
all over it.
[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]
Valedictorian: Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly
disturbing. Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by
the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank.
Buffoon: I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin'
mind!
Valedictorian: It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd and
unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.
Buffoon: My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!
Valedictorian: It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more
overpowering than another's. I wonder whether it is a function of the
food digested or that person's internal metabolism.
Buffoon: I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl.
[Gets out of the car]
Valedictorian: Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt
conclusion.
[Buffoon walking away]
I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future
rondevue.
Buffoon: I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!
Valedictorian: Bye bye! Have fun.
[Buffoon continues to walk away]


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Lyrics by Adam Sandler

  Girl   Hot Water Burn Baby   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Will Go Back To School   Leabing Song Part II   Like A Hurricane   Masturbata   Medium Pace   Memory Lane   Mother's Day Song   Moyda   My Little Chicken   Sid & Alex   Somebody Kill Me   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Chanukah Song Pt. 3   The Cheerleader   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl   The Goat   The Hypnotist   The Lonesome Kicker   The Longest Pee   The Peeper   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Taliban Can   The Thanksgiving Song   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Welcome My Son   What The Hell Happened To Me?   Zittly Van Zittles   50 Ways To Get Bin Laden   50 Ways To Get Bin Laden   7 Foot Man   7 Foot Man   A Christmas Song   Assistant Principal's Big Day   Assistant Principal's Big Day   At A Medium Pace   At A Medium Pace   At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady)   Baby Got Jack   Bad boy friend   Bad Boyfriend   Best Friend   Billy Madison's Victory Song   Buddy   Buddy   Buddy[Moving Train]   Bum Biddy   Calling Home   Camp Granada   Champion   Chanukah Song Part 2   Chanukah Song Part II   Chanunak Song   Cool Guy 1   Cool Guy 1   Cool Guy 2   Cool Guy 2   Cool Guy 3   Cool Guy 3   Cool Guy 4   Cool Guy 4   Cool Guy 5   Cool Guy 5   Cordurory Blues   Corduroy Blues   Crazy Love   Crazy Love   Creepin' On The Mayor   Creepin' On The Mayor   Dancin' And Pantsin'   Dancin' And Pantsin'   Davey's Song   Davey's Song   Davey's Song   Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot)   Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot)   Dip Doodle   Dip Doodle   Do It For Mama   Do It For Your Mama   Fatty mc gee   Fatty Mcgee   Fatty Mcgee   Food Innuendo Guy   Food Innuendo Guy   Food Inuendo Guy   Forgetful Lucy   Forgetful Lucy   Four year sold   Four Years Old   Frogetful   Gay Robot   George Simmons Soon Will Be Gone   Girl   Girl   Good ol' David Letterman   Grow Old With You   Grow Old With You   Hanukkah Song Part One   Hanukkah Song Part Two   Haunaka   Hot Water Burn Baby   Hot Water Burn Baby   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog   I Wanna Grow Old With You   I Wanna Grow Old With You   I Will Go Back To School   I Will Go Back To School   I'm So Wasted   I'm So Wasted   Inner Voice   Inner Voice   Intervention Song   Intervention Song   Joining The Cult   Joining The Cult   Kermet And Big Bird Stoned   Leabing Song Part II   Leabing Song Part II   Like A Hurricane   Like A Hurricane   Listen into the radio   Listenin' To The Radio   Listenin' To The Radio   Long Ago   Long Ago   Love Stinks   Lunchlady Land   Lunchlady Land   Masturbata   Masturbata   Medium Pace   Medium Pace   Memor lane   Memory Lane   Memory Lane   Mother's Day Song   Mother's Day Song   Mother's Day Song   Moyda   Mr. 'I Do' and the Doo Doos   Mr. Bake-o   Mr. Bake-O   Mr. Spindel's Phone Call   Mr. Spindel's Phone Call   My Little Chicken   My Little Chicken   Newlyweds, Sleepyheads   Ode to My Car   Ode to My Car   Oh Mom...   Oh Mom...   Operman   Patch Song   Pibb Goes Surfing   Pibb Needs the Hot Rocks   Pibb Takes the Mexican ATV Tour   Pibb Tries the Skateboarding   Pickin' Daisies   Pickin' Daisies   Piece Of Shit Car   Pot Head Anthem   Real Love   Red Hooded Sweatshirt   Respect   Retarded Burger King Song   Retarded Burger King Song   Right Field   Right Field   Santa Song   Santa Song   Secret   Sex Or Weight Lifting   She Comes Home To Me   She Comes Home To Me   Sid & Alex   Sid & Alex   Somebody Kill Me   Somebody Kill Me   Stan the Man   Steve Polychronopolous   Steve Polychronopolous   Stoned On Sesame Street   Summer Love   Sun Tan Lotion Song   Sweat Beatrice   Sweet Beatrice   Technical Foul   Technical Foul   Teenage Love On The Phone   Teenage Love On The Phone   Thanksgiving Song   The Adventures Of The Cow   The Adventures Of The Cow   The Amazing Willy Wanker   The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Janitor   The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher   The Beating of a High School Science Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher   The Beer Song   The Boss and the Secretary   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions   The Buffoon And The Valedictorian   The Champion   The Chanuka Song   The Chanukah Song   The Chanukah Song (ii)   The Chanukah Song Part II   The Chanukah Song Part III   The Chanukah Song Pt. 3   The Chanukah Song, Part 3   The Cheerleader   The Cheerleader   The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview   The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl   The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman   The Goat   The Goat   The Goat Song   The Grandma Song   The Hannukah Oing   The Hanukkah Song   The Hypnotist   The Hypnotist   The Kangaroo Song   The lone some kicker   The Lonesome Kicker   The Longest Pee   The Longest Pee   The Mayor of Pussytown   The Mule Session   The New Chanukah Song   The Peeper   The Peeper   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie   The Respect Chant   The Taliban Can   The Taliban Can   The thanks giving song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song   The Thanksgiving Song Performed By Adam Sandler   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)   Toll Booth Willie   Toll Booth Willie   Voodoo   Welcome My Son   Welcome My Son   What The Hell Happened To Me   What The Hell Happened To Me?   What The Hell Happened To Me?   Whitey   Whore! Where Are You?!   Zittly Van Zittles

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