[J.N.:] I can make a bigger splash than you!
[Jimmy:] Oh yeah, give it a shot.
[While jumping up and down on diving board]
[J.N.:] Can opener!
[Big splash]
[Jimmy:] Man, that one was huge.
[J.N.:] You go.
[While running towards pool]
[Jimmy:] Ahhhh, jacknife!
[Jumps in and small splash]
[Tracy:] That was a dud, Jimmy.
[Jimmy:] Shutup, Tracy.
[Tracy:] You shutup.
[Door opens, walks over]
[Momma:] Lunch time kids.
[Kids yelling happily]
[Momma:] I made some jelly sandwiches and sliced up some cantelope.
I figured you could eat a little food and and then maybe play with yer cock and balls fer a while.
[J.N.:] I'm just gonna eat, mom.
[Momma:] All right. And then maybe a little later, you can play with yer cock and balls fer momma.
[J.N.:] I don't think so.
[Momma:] Ok. Slow down Jimmy, yer already halfway done with yer sandwhich.
You're gonna get a belly ache.
[Jimmy:] No I'm not. I'm hungry.
[Momma:] I know, but you shouldn't so fast.
You're rushing honey, you're gonna choke. Put down your sandwhich and beat off your cock and balls for a little bit. Pace yourself.
[Jimmy:] Oh god.
[Momma:] Tracy, do you want some fruit or a sandwhich?
[Tracy:] No mom, I'm trying to lose weight. Guy said I'm getting fat.
[Momma:] What? You look beautiful honey. He's crazy.
[Tracy:] Guy said last summer I looked better in a bathing suit, so I'm gonna try to lose like three or four pounds.
[Momma:] Awww, sweetheart.
You've got so much to learn.
Guy doesn't want you to lose weight, baby.
It's just his way of telling you he wants you to smack around his cock and balls some more, honey.
He's got some balls and some cock. You gotta stroke his schlong or at least bite his nuts.
[Tracy:] Mom!
[Momma:] You're scared, aren't ya honey.
You want momma to help you?
Momma will stroke Guy's penis for him.
No one has to know. I'll sneak in when it's dark.
[Tracy:] No! Mom, please!
[Momma:] You don't know how to tug on the cock and balls?
You need momma to show you?
Get me a carrot, sweetheart.
Where are you going!?
[J.N.:] Mom, where's the suntan lotion?
[Momma:] It's under the chair baby.
You gonna lube up yer cock and balls and wack it for a little bit?
[J.N.:] Uhh, no. I'm just going to put some on my face so I don't get sunburnt.
[Momma:] Smart thinking honey.
And while yer at it you can put some on your brother's ding dong and knock around his nuts for him.
[Jimmy:] Mom!
[Momma:] What Jimmy. Why don't you let your brother wack your cock and nuts for a little bit.
You're not playing with them right now so why not let him. Share, baby!
[Jimmy:] You're weird mom! I'm going swimming!
[Momma:] Oh, you shouldn't swim for a half an hour. I read that.
[Jimmy:] Why?
[Momma:] Because you just ate, honey.
And you'll get cramps.
Why don't you just lay on the side of the pool and jiggle your balls for momma.
[Jimmy:] It's ok. I'll stay in the shallow end.
[Momma:] Ok, baby. But don't hurt yourself with that big juicy hog of yours.
[Jimmy:] Hey, J.N. Throw me that frisby.
[J.N.:] Here! Whoops!
[Sails over and falls to the ground]
[Jimmy:] Nice throw. Right over the fence and into the Chasen's yard.
[Momma:] Don't get all huffy puffy. I'll get it.
Momma will make everything all right.
J.N. you watch Jimmy and make sure he's safe in that water.
[J.N.:] Ok, ma.
[Momma:] And if you want you can beat your cock and balls. Hi Mr. Chasen!
[Mr. Chasen: Oh, hi Emily. How are you?
[Momma:] Oh, the boys threw the frisbee over the fence again.
And there it is under the bush.
[Mr. Chasen:] I'll get it for you.
[Momma:] Sorry. Thank you.
And while your under that bush, why don't you jack around your cock and balls for yourself.
You can stare at my jugs and play with that healthy wang of yours.
[Mr. Chasen:] No, I'll just.. I'll just get your frisbee.
[Momma:] All right baby.
[Mr. Chasen:] Here you go.
[Momma:] Thank you. Thanks. Thank Mr. Chasen, boys!
[Boys:] Thanks Mr. Chasen!
[Mr. Chasen:] You're welcome fellas.
[Momma:] Have a good day.
Oh, and..and tell your son Tommy,
if he wants to come over later and play with his cock and balls with the kids he's always welcome.
I don't know what happened with him and the boys,
but they don't seem to be friendly anymore.
[Mr. Chasen:] I'll do that Emily.
[Momma:] All right. He's got a big one. You know that.
[Momma:] Tracy! You're boyfriend Guy's car just pulled up.
[Tracy:] Ok mom. Please don't embarass me!
[Momma:] Everything embarasses you at this age, but I'll do my best.
Don't worry.
[Guy:] Is it ok to come in?
[Tracy:] Come on back here guy!
[Momma:] Oh!
[Tracy:] Thanks for coming over!
[Momma:] Nice to see you Guy.
[Guy:] Hi Mrs. Tucker.
[Momma:] Why don't you go for a swim with the others?
[Guy:] I didn't bring a bathing suit with me.
[Momma:] Oh no! You don't need a bathing suit.
Just pull off your clothes and let your cock and balls feel the nice warm water.
[Guy:] Uhhh, that's ok, Mrs. Tucker.
[Momma:] Come on! Pull out your cock and balls.
The water's heated. You'll love it.
[Tracy:] Mom! Stop it! Now!
[Momma:] What are you talking about, honey!?
This way his balls are out, you can stroke his ding dong in front of all of us.
Come on, pull out that hog of yours.
I wanna see it anyways.
I wanna know what my daughter's been stroking.
[Tracy:] Mom! Stop it!
[Momma:] In fact, everybody, pull out your cock and balls and rub it for momma.
Play with yourself. It'll be good. Everyone. Wack away!
[J.N.:] You're sick mom! I'm leaving.
[Jimmy:] I'm going to Billy's house. I can't take this anymore.
[Walking away]
[Guy:] Come on, let's go.
[Tracy:] You've humiliated me and Guy. We are so outta here.
[Momma:] What did I do? What is the matter with you all?
Come back here!
You're ruining the day!
It's so beautiful out.
This is too much of a...
[Picks up phone and starts dialing while car drives off]
I can't take these kids anymore...
[Phone rings and gets picked up]
[Grandma:] Hello?
[Momma:] Momma, it's me, I'm very upset,
[Grandma:] Oh, what's the matter, baby?
[Momma:] The kids are yelling at me and they left me here all alone.
[Grandma:] Did you tell them the kids to play with their cock and balls?
[Momma:] I told them to play with their cock and balls.
[Grandma:] And what did they say?
[Momma:] They don't wanna play with them anymore.
[Grandma:] Why don't they wanna play with them anymore?
[Momma:] I don't understand. They've got cock and balls. They should play with them.
[Grandma:] Poppy always loves when I play with his cock and balls.
[Momma:] You smack around daddy's cock still, why shouldn't they beat theirs?
[Grandma:] Tell them to come over to grandma's house. I'll play with their cock and balls.
[Momma:] Oh momma.
Do It For Mama
Adam Sandler
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Lyrics by Adam Sandler
Girl
Hot Water Burn Baby
I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog
I Will Go Back To School
Leabing Song Part II
Like A Hurricane
Masturbata
Medium Pace
Memory Lane
Mother's Day Song
Moyda
My Little Chicken
Sid & Alex
Somebody Kill Me
The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher
The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions
The Buffoon And The Valedictorian
The Chanukah Song Pt. 3
The Cheerleader
The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl
The Goat
The Hypnotist
The Lonesome Kicker
The Longest Pee
The Peeper
The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie
The Taliban Can
The Thanksgiving Song
Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go)
Welcome My Son
What The Hell Happened To Me?
Zittly Van Zittles 50 Ways To Get Bin Laden 50 Ways To Get Bin Laden 7 Foot Man 7 Foot Man A Christmas Song Assistant Principal's Big Day Assistant Principal's Big Day At A Medium Pace At A Medium Pace At The Mall (feat. Kevin Grady) Baby Got Jack Bad boy friend Bad Boyfriend Best Friend Billy Madison's Victory Song Buddy Buddy Buddy[Moving Train] Bum Biddy Calling Home Camp Granada Champion Chanukah Song Part 2 Chanukah Song Part II Chanunak Song Cool Guy 1 Cool Guy 1 Cool Guy 2 Cool Guy 2 Cool Guy 3 Cool Guy 3 Cool Guy 4 Cool Guy 4 Cool Guy 5 Cool Guy 5 Cordurory Blues Corduroy Blues Crazy Love Crazy Love Creepin' On The Mayor Creepin' On The Mayor Dancin' And Pantsin' Dancin' And Pantsin' Davey's Song Davey's Song Davey's Song Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot) Dip Doodle Dip Doodle Do It For Your Mama Fatty mc gee Fatty Mcgee Fatty Mcgee Food Innuendo Guy Food Innuendo Guy Food Inuendo Guy Forgetful Lucy Forgetful Lucy Four year sold Four Years Old Frogetful Gay Robot George Simmons Soon Will Be Gone Girl Girl Good ol' David Letterman Grow Old With You Grow Old With You Hanukkah Song Part One Hanukkah Song Part Two Haunaka Hot Water Burn Baby Hot Water Burn Baby I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog I Ran Over The Taco Bell Dog I Wanna Grow Old With You I Wanna Grow Old With You I Will Go Back To School I Will Go Back To School I'm So Wasted I'm So Wasted Inner Voice Inner Voice Intervention Song Intervention Song Joining The Cult Joining The Cult Kermet And Big Bird Stoned Leabing Song Part II Leabing Song Part II Like A Hurricane Like A Hurricane Listen into the radio Listenin' To The Radio Listenin' To The Radio Long Ago Long Ago Love Stinks Lunchlady Land Lunchlady Land Masturbata Masturbata Medium Pace Medium Pace Memor lane Memory Lane Memory Lane Mother's Day Song Mother's Day Song Mother's Day Song Moyda Mr. 'I Do' and the Doo Doos Mr. Bake-o Mr. Bake-O Mr. Spindel's Phone Call Mr. Spindel's Phone Call My Little Chicken My Little Chicken Newlyweds, Sleepyheads Ode to My Car Ode to My Car Oh Mom... Oh Mom... Operman Patch Song Pibb Goes Surfing Pibb Needs the Hot Rocks Pibb Takes the Mexican ATV Tour Pibb Tries the Skateboarding Pickin' Daisies Pickin' Daisies Piece Of Shit Car Pot Head Anthem Real Love Red Hooded Sweatshirt Respect Retarded Burger King Song Retarded Burger King Song Right Field Right Field Santa Song Santa Song Secret Sex Or Weight Lifting She Comes Home To Me She Comes Home To Me Sid & Alex Sid & Alex Somebody Kill Me Somebody Kill Me Stan the Man Steve Polychronopolous Steve Polychronopolous Stoned On Sesame Street Summer Love Sun Tan Lotion Song Sweat Beatrice Sweet Beatrice Technical Foul Technical Foul Teenage Love On The Phone Teenage Love On The Phone Thanksgiving Song The Adventures Of The Cow The Adventures Of The Cow The Amazing Willy Wanker The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver The Beating Of A High School Bus Driver The Beating Of A High School Janitor The Beating Of A High School Janitor The Beating Of A High School Science Teacher The Beating of a High School Science Teacher The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher The Beating Of A High School Spanish Teacher The Beer Song The Boss and the Secretary The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions The Buffoon & The Dean Of Admissions The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions The Buffoon And The Valedictorian The Buffoon And The Valedictorian The Champion The Chanuka Song The Chanukah Song The Chanukah Song (ii) The Chanukah Song Part II The Chanukah Song Part III The Chanukah Song Pt. 3 The Chanukah Song, Part 3 The Cheerleader The Cheerleader The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Girl The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman The Goat The Goat The Goat Song The Grandma Song The Hannukah Oing The Hanukkah Song The Hypnotist The Hypnotist The Kangaroo Song The lone some kicker The Lonesome Kicker The Longest Pee The Longest Pee The Mayor of Pussytown The Mule Session The New Chanukah Song The Peeper The Peeper The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie The Respect Chant The Taliban Can The Taliban Can The thanks giving song The Thanksgiving Song The Thanksgiving Song The Thanksgiving Song Performed By Adam Sandler Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go) Three Cheers For Ottawa (Go Leafs Go) Toll Booth Willie Toll Booth Willie Voodoo Welcome My Son Welcome My Son What The Hell Happened To Me What The Hell Happened To Me? What The Hell Happened To Me? Whitey Whore! Where Are You?! Zittly Van Zittles
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