Where the Grass Don't Grow
Cledus T. Judd

Parody of Where the Green Grass Grows by Tim McGraw (Jess Leary/Craig Wiseman), Song Matters Inc. (ASCAP)/Leary's Tavern Music (ASCAP)/Daddy Rabbit Music (ASCAP)/Famous Music Corp(ASCAP)/Almo Music Corp. (ASCAP)
New lyrics & music by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music (SESAC)

(Coughs)
Ahhhh...uh
Oh (coughs)
AHHHCHOOOOOO

Ah my head feels as big as a dad blang basketball
It's a shame I'm a sight
Red eyes itchy both day and night
My head's all stuffed up tight again

Oh no spring's back
Another dang allergy attack
I bought some Sudafed
And took the whole dern pack
And I still can't breathe and I cough and I hack

I want to live where the grass don't grow
I'm sick and tired of blowin my nose
Never again will you hear me go ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So much congestion in my chest
Doctor's said that it might be best
For me to move where the pollen count is low
Where the grass don't grow

I wonder if Tim McGraw's got any of that snifflin night time
Sneezin achin stuffy head coughin
Wake up on the top of your tour bus medicine for me
(coughs)

I sold my leaf blower
My two horsepower push mower
Won't see me outdoors this time of year
(coughs)
This ragweed is a getting rough
My hay fever is getting tough
I'm all out of Vicks Vapo Rub
And there's dust everywhere
And enough is enough

I want to live where the grass don't grow
A big high rise or a small condo
If I never blow again it'll be too soon
Won't ever touch another garden tool
I'll sip Margueritas by the swimming pool
There will be one less seed I'll have to sew
Where the grass don't grow

(Coughs and sneezes)
:Oh my head
Here we go

I want to live where the grass don't grow
It's killing me here where the mulch blowers blow
I've tried everything I know to do
Can't keep the sneezin cough suppressed
Try to give my sinuses a rest
I'm going to go where the pollen count is low
Where the grass don't grow

(Sneezes and coughs till end)


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Lyrics by Cledus T. Judd

  (If I Had) Kellie Pickler's Boobs   (She's Got A Butt) Bigger Than The Beatles   1-900-Sheila   1/2   104 Amanda Street   270 Somethin'   A Night I Can't Remember   All I Want For Christmas Is Two Gold Front Teef   Bake Me A Country Ham   Breath   Breath [Multimedia Track]   Cadirac Style   Christ-Mas   Christ-Mas [*][Multimedia Track]   Christmas In Rehab   Cledus Don't Stop Eatin' for Nuthin'   Cledus T.   Cledus the Karaoke King   Cledus Went Down To Florida   Cledus' Christmas Ball   Cooter   Coronary Life   Dang It, I'm Vixen   Did I Shave My Back for This   Did I Shave My Back for This?   Don't Mess With America   Don't Serve Beans   Double D Cups   Every Bulb in the House Is Blown   Every Light In The House Is Blown   Feel Like A Pawn Star   First Redneck On The Internet   Garth Must Be Busy   Gone Funky (Parody "Gone Country" - Alan Jackson)   Gone Funky (Parody of Gone Country by Alan Jackson...   Goodbye Squirrel   Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer   Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere (Bonus Tra...   Hankenstein   Hazel's Homemade Hallelujah Punch   Hell No   Hillbilly Honeymoon   Hip Hop and Honky Tonk   How Do You Milk a Cow   I Love Nascar   I Was Country When Country Wasn't Pop   I'm Going Ugly Early Tonight   I'm Not In Here For Love (Just Yer Beer)   If George Strait Starts Dancin'   If Shania Was Mine   If Shania Was Mine (Parody "Any Man Of Mine" - Sha...   If Shania Was Mine [*][Multimedia Track]   If This Is Country Music   In Another Size   Indian In-Laws   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy (Parody "It's A Great...   Jackson (Alan That Is)   Just Another Day In Paradise   Just Another Day In Parodies   Katie Bar The Door   Leave You Laughin'   Let's Burn One   Let's Shoot Dove   Livin' Like John Travolta   Man Of Constant Borrow   Martie, Emily & Natalie   Martie, Emily & Natalie (The Continuing Saga Of)   Merger On Music Row   Merry Christmas From The Whole Fam Damily   Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily [*]   Mindy McCready   More Beaver   Motel Californie   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy (Parody 'She Thinks My...   My Crowd   My Voice   Natalie   New Car   One Jack Off   Only 364 Shopping Days 'Til Christmas   Paycheck Woman   Please Take The Girl   Please Take The Girl (Parody "Don't Take The Girl...   Plowboy   Polyrically Uncorrect   Psychic to the Stars   Quit Teasin' Me Ed   Refried Beans   Ricky Tidwell's Mama Is Gonna Play Football   Riding With Inmate Jerome   Santa Claus Is Watchin' You   Shade Tree Mechanic   Shania I'm Broke   She's Inflatable   Starkissed   Stephon The Alternative Lifestyle Reindeer   Stinkin' Problem   Stoled: The Copyright Infringement Incidnent   Swingin'   The Change   The Grundy County Spitting Incident   The House That Broke Me   Third Rock from Her Thumb   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody "Third Rock From...   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody of Third Rock Fr...   Tree's On Fire   Waitin' On Obama   Washing Airplanes   We Own The World   What the *$@# Did You Say   What the xxxx Did You Say   Where's Your Mommy?   Wife Naggin'   Willie's Got A Big Deck   Wives Do It All the Time   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody "Girls Do It All ...   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody of Girls Do It Al...   You Have No Right To Remain Violent

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