Please Take The Girl
Cledus T. Judd

(Larry Johnson/Craig Martin/Cledus T. Judd)

Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin',
If he'd just dig the bait.
He said: Get lost, Dad, I'm watchin' mud wrestling,
Go jump in the lake.
Why don't you take that neighbour girl?
The one that favours our dog.
His dad said: Son, she might sink the boat,
She weighs more than our hog.
And Arnie said:

She's got a tackle box that you'd kill for,
A ZebCo rod and reel.
She won the Junior Bass Masters Tourney,
And I just ate oatmeal,
And I'm afraid I might hurl.
Daddy, please, please take the girl.

Same limey boy, same large girl,
Eleven years with no date.
They finally married when they both realised,
They'd get a big tax break.
One night at the Laundrymat,
Washin' underwear.
A stranger pulled a water-gun;
Arnie soiled another pair, (Whoops.)
And whimpered:

Ain't got no money, in my wallet.
She's got the credit cards.
But they're all run up over the limit,
Won't get you very far.
And though her hair's up in curls, and she looks like Milton Burle,
She ain't wearin' fake pearls,
Mister please, please, please take the girl.

Well she ain't bad when she gets a couple of coats of that cold
cream on her, and a sack over her head.

A toothless Arnie, a whale of a woman,
Forty years down the tune.
One day they found him with a shotgun,
Buck-naked on the roof.
Doctor's said: He's lost his mind,
We'll have to take him away. (No o o o!)
As they strapped that straight jacket on him,
Someone heard him say -- he babled out loud:

If you'd lived with her, long as I have,
You'd be slap crazy too.
She's the one that's really a psycho,
More than a few screws loose.
She's nutty as a squirrel;
Doctor, please, please take the girl.

Get her outta here!

Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin',
If he'd just dig the bait.
Is it Tim McGraw or John Anderson,
I'm trying to imitate?

sorry Tim!


  Purchase "Please Take The Girl"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "Please Take The Girl" Video   Play Spotify "Please Take The Girl" Song   View Wikipedia "Please Take The Girl" Entry   Receive Emails for Future Cledus T. Judd Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "Please Take The Girl"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You

Loading...

Lyrics by Cledus T. Judd

  (If I Had) Kellie Pickler's Boobs   (She's Got A Butt) Bigger Than The Beatles   1-900-Sheila   1/2   104 Amanda Street   270 Somethin'   A Night I Can't Remember   All I Want For Christmas Is Two Gold Front Teef   Bake Me A Country Ham   Breath   Breath [Multimedia Track]   Cadirac Style   Christ-Mas   Christ-Mas [*][Multimedia Track]   Christmas In Rehab   Cledus Don't Stop Eatin' for Nuthin'   Cledus T.   Cledus the Karaoke King   Cledus Went Down To Florida   Cledus' Christmas Ball   Cooter   Coronary Life   Dang It, I'm Vixen   Did I Shave My Back for This   Did I Shave My Back for This?   Don't Mess With America   Don't Serve Beans   Double D Cups   Every Bulb in the House Is Blown   Every Light In The House Is Blown   Feel Like A Pawn Star   First Redneck On The Internet   Garth Must Be Busy   Gone Funky (Parody "Gone Country" - Alan Jackson)   Gone Funky (Parody of Gone Country by Alan Jackson...   Goodbye Squirrel   Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer   Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere (Bonus Tra...   Hankenstein   Hazel's Homemade Hallelujah Punch   Hell No   Hillbilly Honeymoon   Hip Hop and Honky Tonk   How Do You Milk a Cow   I Love Nascar   I Was Country When Country Wasn't Pop   I'm Going Ugly Early Tonight   I'm Not In Here For Love (Just Yer Beer)   If George Strait Starts Dancin'   If Shania Was Mine   If Shania Was Mine (Parody "Any Man Of Mine" - Sha...   If Shania Was Mine [*][Multimedia Track]   If This Is Country Music   In Another Size   Indian In-Laws   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy (Parody "It's A Great...   Jackson (Alan That Is)   Just Another Day In Paradise   Just Another Day In Parodies   Katie Bar The Door   Leave You Laughin'   Let's Burn One   Let's Shoot Dove   Livin' Like John Travolta   Man Of Constant Borrow   Martie, Emily & Natalie   Martie, Emily & Natalie (The Continuing Saga Of)   Merger On Music Row   Merry Christmas From The Whole Fam Damily   Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily [*]   Mindy McCready   More Beaver   Motel Californie   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy (Parody 'She Thinks My...   My Crowd   My Voice   Natalie   New Car   One Jack Off   Only 364 Shopping Days 'Til Christmas   Paycheck Woman   Please Take The Girl (Parody "Don't Take The Girl...   Plowboy   Polyrically Uncorrect   Psychic to the Stars   Quit Teasin' Me Ed   Refried Beans   Ricky Tidwell's Mama Is Gonna Play Football   Riding With Inmate Jerome   Santa Claus Is Watchin' You   Shade Tree Mechanic   Shania I'm Broke   She's Inflatable   Starkissed   Stephon The Alternative Lifestyle Reindeer   Stinkin' Problem   Stoled: The Copyright Infringement Incidnent   Swingin'   The Change   The Grundy County Spitting Incident   The House That Broke Me   Third Rock from Her Thumb   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody "Third Rock From...   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody of Third Rock Fr...   Tree's On Fire   Waitin' On Obama   Washing Airplanes   We Own The World   What the *$@# Did You Say   What the xxxx Did You Say   Where the Grass Don't Grow   Where's Your Mommy?   Wife Naggin'   Willie's Got A Big Deck   Wives Do It All the Time   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody "Girls Do It All ...   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody of Girls Do It Al...   You Have No Right To Remain Violent

Related Songs

  Please Don't Take The Girl - Tim McGraw  Please Take - Wire  Take Me Back - Gary U. S. Bonds  Take Me Back - Gary "u.s." Bonds  Take Me Back - Gary U.S. Bonds  Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon - Cat Stevens  Whenever I'm Gone - Mason Musso  Lucky Girl - Marianne Faithfull  Take Me to Your World - Billie Jo Spears  Your Daddy - Prussian Blue  Take Me To Your World - Jean Shepard  Maria Gallante - OMD  Hey Senorita - Coco Montoya  Showgirl - Slimmy  Brightest Star - Santana  I'll Take You To My World - George Jones  Don't Leave Me - BLACKSTREET  Don't Leave (Stay) - Blackstreet  Easy Cheese - The Mad Caddies  Girl, You'll Be A Woman - Neil Diamond  Take Me To Your World - Jan Howard  Take Me To Your World - Lynn Anderson  Take Me To Your World - Tammy Wynette  Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon - Cliff Richard  Take Me Back To Toyland - Nat King Cole  Take Me To Your World (1968) - Tammy Wynette  Working Girl - Little Boots  E.R. - Joe  Don't Take My Sunshine - Johnnie Taylor  Don't Take The Girl - Tim McGraw  Lucille [Live] - Tom Jones  Lucille - Tom Jones  Letter To Lucille - Tom Jones  Good Girl - Na.na.ya  Sad Girl - The Mommyheads  The Girl Is Mine - 99 Souls   Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon - Neil Diamond  Girl You'll Be A Woman Soon - Urge Overkill  Please Please Please - Delbert Mcclinton  Dont Take The Girl - Tim McGraw  Sexy Girl - Lillo Thomas  Freud Links The Teeth And The Heart - Tellison  Please Don't Ever Leave Me - Cyrkle  E.R. (emergency Room) - Joe  Oh Girl - La Mafia  Girl Act Right - Eamon  Tim McGraw - Don't Take The Girl - Tim McGraw  Don't Take The Girl - Tim McGraw  We Gonna Take U Back - Don't Leave Me...  We Gonna Take U Back (Lude) \/ Don't Leave Me...  Another Last Chance - Sammie  My Everything - Collie Buddz  Take A Second - Claude  Back Street Girl G_* - The Rolling Stones  Back Street Girl - The Rolling Stones  Cheyenne - Greyson Chance  Little Girl - Muddy Waters  Lie - Nelly  Pleas Please Please - James Brown  Off My Wall - Matt White  Mama, I'm a Big Girl Now - Hairspray  Mama, I'm A Big Girl Now...  Bad Girl - Trash Palace  Take My Hand - Dewey Cox  The Rest of Our Lives - JAGGED EDGE  Dream Girl - Kolohe Kai  How Do You Catch A Girl...  How Do You Catch A Girl...  Lonely Girl - Timothy B. Schmit  Take My Hand (Feat. DnG) - Dok2  Please - Alisa Shamrow  Take Me Home - Lynn Anderson  Take Me Home - Lynn Anderson  Pretty Girl - L'arc-En-Ciel  Backstreet Girl - Rolling Stones  Backstreet Girl - The Rolling Stones  Back Street Girl* - Rolling Stones  Partition Remix - Busta Rhymes  Don't Take Your Love Away - N2U  Don't Take Your Love Away - N2U  Give Me Your Heart - Bobby Valentino  Give Me Your Heart - Bobby V  Belt - Regina Spektor  Cathleen (A Beautiful Irish Girl) - Phil Lynott  How Do You Catch A Girl (single Version)...  I Beg of You [Take 6,8] - Elvis Presley  I Beg of You [Take 1] - Elvis Presley  I Beg of You - The Jordanaires  I Beg of You [Take 12] - Elvis Presley  I Beg of You [Alternate Master][Version]...  I Beg of You [Alternate Master][*][Version]...  I Beg Of You (Alternate Version) - Elvis Presley  I Beg of You [Take 11] - Elvis Presley  I Beg of You - Presley Elvis  Jorge Ben - AM  We Gonna Take U Back (Lude)/Don't Leave Me...  Go On Girl - Ne-Yo  Go On Girl - Ne-Yo  Martha My Dear - Phish  Martha My Dear - Brad Mehldau Trio  Martha My Dear - Madeleine Peyroux  Martha My Dear - Fool's Garden  Martha, My Dear - Beatles  Martha My Dear - The Beatles  Martha My Dear - Fool's Garden  Martha My Dear [Mono Version] - The Beatles  Martha My Dear - Fools Garden  GIRL, YOU'LL BE A WOMAN SOON - Diamond Neil  California Landslide - Lightnin' Hopkins  Beware - Bitter Ruin  Higher Than High - Billy Crawford  Look At Me Girl - Bobby Vee  Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon - Neil Diamond  Blink - Ed Drewett  I Beg of You - Elvis Presley  Jungle - Nonono  Partition (Remix) - Busta Rhymes  I Told You - Changing Faces  Electric Relaxation - A Tribe Called Quest  Your Girl Is A Ho - Ne-yo  March Ate Me Alive - Ben Lee  Girl You Will be a Woman Soon - Neil Diamond  Train - David Ford  Mama, I'm A Big Girl Now - Hairspray  Honey Please - Edith Frost  Lover Please - Kris Kristofferson  Mother - The Golden Filter  Crush Me - Go Periscope  Chicago - If You Leave Me Now - Chicago  El Torrente - Minus the Bear  Something To Believe - David Choi  The Girl in Red - Daddy DJ  Girl in Red [Multimedia Track] - Daddy DJ  Physically - Rickey Teetz  Tonight - Ready for the World  I Don\u2019t Know You Anymore - Jamie Foxx  Don't Fall In Love - Ne-Yo  Don't Fall In Love - Ne-Yo  Louder Than Bombs - Smiths  How Many More Days? - Tom Petty  Breathe - The Take  Please don't go girl - Aaron Carter  Please Don't Go Girl - Frankie J  Please Don't Go Girl - Aaron Carter  Please Dont Go Girl - New Kids On The Block  Please Don't Go Girl - New Kids On The Block  Please Don't Go Girl - Carter Aaron  Please Don't Go Girl - NKOTBSB  Please Don't Go Girl - Joey Mcintyre  Roadhouse Girl - Ray Lamontagne  Rest Of Our Lives - JAGGED EDGE  Wanna Do You Right - K-C & Jojo  Wanna Do You Right - K-Ci & JoJo  Kimmy Girl - Keri Hilson  Save Me - Anouk  Musicians, Please Take Heed - God Help the Girl  Take Me Home, Please - Reggie and the Full Effect  Please Take Me Home - Blink 182  Please Take Her Home - Moe Bandy  Please Take Me Home - Walter Trout  Please Take Me Home - The Bird and The Bee  This Is A Love Song - The Righteous Brothers  Never Enough [Live][*] - L.A. Guns  Never Enough - L.a. Guns  If You Leave Me Now[Quadrophonic Mix] - Chicago  A Lunatic's Lament - Alesana  Lover Please - Kinky Friedman  A Lunatic's Lament - Alesana  Runaway (remix) - Kevin Cossom  Rock This World (Remix 2005) - Hilary Duff  Smoke and Mirrors - The Audition  Hey Kiddo (I Forgot to Ask You an Important Questi...  Don't Wanna Sleep - The Jackie Boyz  If You Leave - A.B. Quintanilla Y Los Kumbia Kings  Lover - Alesana  Take Me With You - Cartel  Take It Or Leave It - Young Steff  Hatful Of Hollow - Smiths  Hey You Girl - Pitbull  Girl, Don't Take Your Love From Me...  U Belong To Me - Trey Songz  All Night Long"(feat. Nelly - Brian McKnight  All Night Long - Brian McKnight  All Night Long - Brian McKnight F/ Nelly  Please Me - Poncho   Don't Make It Easy For Me...  The Lover - Alesana  Please, Please, Please - Miyavi  Please, Please, Please [*] - James Brown  Please, Please, Please - Stevie Wonder  "Please, Please, Please" - The Who  Please, Please, Please - The Lashes  Please Please Please - Fiona Apple  Please, Please, Please - Who  Please Please Please - Owen Pallett  Please Please Please - Shout Out Louds  Please, Please, Please - Andrew Combs  Please, Please, Please - The Who  Please Please Please - James Brown  Please, Please, Please - James Brown