Please Take The Girl (Parody "Don't Take The Girl" - Tim McGraw)
Cledus T. Judd

Cledus T. Judd

Miscellaneous

Please Take The Girl (Parody Don't Take The Girl - Tim McGraw)

(Larry Johnson/Craig Martin/Cledus T. Judd)


Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin',

If he'd just dig the bait.

He said: Get lost, Dad, I'm watchin' mud wrestling,

Go jump in the lake.

Why don't you take that neighbour girl?

The one that favours our dog.

His dad said: Son, she might sink the boat,

She weighs more than our hog.

And Arnie said:


She's got a tackle box that you'd kill for,

A ZebCo rod and reel.

She won the Junior Bass Masters Tourney,

And I just ate oatmeal,

And I'm afraid I might hurl.

Daddy, please, please take the girl.


Same limey boy, same large girl,

Eleven years with no date.

They finally married when they both realised,

They'd get a big tax break.

One night at the Laundrymat,

Washin' underwear.

A stranger pulled a water-gun;

Arnie soiled another pair, (Whoops.)

And whimpered:


Ain't got no money, in my wallet.

She's got the credit cards.

But they're all run up over the limit,


Won't get you very far.

And though her hair's up in curls, and she looks like Milton Burle,

She ain't wearin' fake pearls,

Mister please, please, please take the girl.


Well she ain't bad when she gets a couple of coats of that cold

cream on her, and a sack over her head.


A toothless Arnie, a whale of a woman,

Forty years down the tune.

One day they found him with a shotgun,

Buck-naked on the roof.

Doctor's said: He's lost his mind,

We'll have to take him away. (No o o o!)

As they strapped that straight jacket on him,

Someone heard him say -- he babled out loud:


If you'd lived with her, long as I have,

You'd be slap crazy too.

She's the one that's really a psycho,

More than a few screws loose.

She's nutty as a squirrel;

Doctor, please, please take the girl.


Get her outta here!


Arnie's Daddy said he'd take him fishin',

If he'd just dig the bait.

Is it Tim McGraw or John Anderson,

I'm trying to imitate?


I'm sorry Tim!


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Lyrics by Cledus T. Judd

  (If I Had) Kellie Pickler's Boobs   (She's Got A Butt) Bigger Than The Beatles   1-900-Sheila   1/2   104 Amanda Street   270 Somethin'   A Night I Can't Remember   All I Want For Christmas Is Two Gold Front Teef   Bake Me A Country Ham   Breath   Breath [Multimedia Track]   Cadirac Style   Christ-Mas   Christ-Mas [*][Multimedia Track]   Christmas In Rehab   Cledus Don't Stop Eatin' for Nuthin'   Cledus T.   Cledus the Karaoke King   Cledus Went Down To Florida   Cledus' Christmas Ball   Cooter   Coronary Life   Dang It, I'm Vixen   Did I Shave My Back for This   Did I Shave My Back for This?   Don't Mess With America   Don't Serve Beans   Double D Cups   Every Bulb in the House Is Blown   Every Light In The House Is Blown   Feel Like A Pawn Star   First Redneck On The Internet   Garth Must Be Busy   Gone Funky (Parody "Gone Country" - Alan Jackson)   Gone Funky (Parody of Gone Country by Alan Jackson...   Goodbye Squirrel   Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer   Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere (Bonus Tra...   Hankenstein   Hazel's Homemade Hallelujah Punch   Hell No   Hillbilly Honeymoon   Hip Hop and Honky Tonk   How Do You Milk a Cow   I Love Nascar   I Was Country When Country Wasn't Pop   I'm Going Ugly Early Tonight   I'm Not In Here For Love (Just Yer Beer)   If George Strait Starts Dancin'   If Shania Was Mine   If Shania Was Mine (Parody "Any Man Of Mine" - Sha...   If Shania Was Mine [*][Multimedia Track]   If This Is Country Music   In Another Size   Indian In-Laws   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy (Parody "It's A Great...   Jackson (Alan That Is)   Just Another Day In Paradise   Just Another Day In Parodies   Katie Bar The Door   Leave You Laughin'   Let's Burn One   Let's Shoot Dove   Livin' Like John Travolta   Man Of Constant Borrow   Martie, Emily & Natalie   Martie, Emily & Natalie (The Continuing Saga Of)   Merger On Music Row   Merry Christmas From The Whole Fam Damily   Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily [*]   Mindy McCready   More Beaver   Motel Californie   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy (Parody 'She Thinks My...   My Crowd   My Voice   Natalie   New Car   One Jack Off   Only 364 Shopping Days 'Til Christmas   Paycheck Woman   Please Take The Girl   Plowboy   Polyrically Uncorrect   Psychic to the Stars   Quit Teasin' Me Ed   Refried Beans   Ricky Tidwell's Mama Is Gonna Play Football   Riding With Inmate Jerome   Santa Claus Is Watchin' You   Shade Tree Mechanic   Shania I'm Broke   She's Inflatable   Starkissed   Stephon The Alternative Lifestyle Reindeer   Stinkin' Problem   Stoled: The Copyright Infringement Incidnent   Swingin'   The Change   The Grundy County Spitting Incident   The House That Broke Me   Third Rock from Her Thumb   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody "Third Rock From...   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody of Third Rock Fr...   Tree's On Fire   Waitin' On Obama   Washing Airplanes   We Own The World   What the *$@# Did You Say   What the xxxx Did You Say   Where the Grass Don't Grow   Where's Your Mommy?   Wife Naggin'   Willie's Got A Big Deck   Wives Do It All the Time   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody "Girls Do It All ...   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody of Girls Do It Al...   You Have No Right To Remain Violent

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