If Shania Was Mine (Parody "Any Man Of Mine" - Shania Twain)
Cledus T. Judd

Cledus T. Judd

Miscellaneous

If Shania Was Mine (Parody Any Man Of Mine - Shania Twain)

(Chris Clark/Cledus T. Judd/Robert Lange/Shania Twain)


If Shania was mine, wouldn't be proud of me,

Couldn't hardly blame her 'cos I'm so durned ugly.

But on our first date, we could have a good time,

If I got her on the moonshine.


If Shania was mine, say it fit just right,

Though the polyester suit was just a little too tight.

And there's no way I'd have a bad hair day,

'Cos I'd buy a new toupee.

Oh. I'd love to seduce her,

But she married her producer.

Now all I do is pray, pray, pray,

She'll get a gay boy some day.


If Shania was mine, I'd prob'ly lose my mind,

If she only squeezed me, teased me, pleased me one little time.

And if she only knew, all the things I'd do.

I'd be the lawn mowing, crop-growing,

'Tato peeling, house cleaning kind.

If Shania was mine.


Well, If Shania was mine, she'd have to agree,

Can't no-one cook brocceel better than me.


And a dozen mountain oysters and some old fatback,

She's says: Mmmmm. I like it like that!

Now all I do is wonder,

Whose bed her boots have been under.

I wish it had've been mine, now, whine, whine,

That girl's so doggone fine.


If Shania was mine, I think I'd go slap blind,

Starin' at her yummy little tummy and her booty shakin' round behind.

And if she only knew, all the things I'd do.

I'd be the lawn mowing, crop-growing,

'Tato peeling, house cleaning kind.


If Shania.

If Shania.

If Shania.


Now was that mud lime, or deep white, yokel?

When she shimmies, and shakes, it's more than I can take.

Oh, what she does to me in them videos,.

Wife's gonna leave me if I don't explain, what I see in Shania Twain.

I'd love to see her in a magzine, centrefold if you know what I mean.

Oh, me a', oh, my a', I was Shania would buy me a house in South Carolina.

Two, four, six, eight, nine, I wish that Shania was mine.


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Lyrics by Cledus T. Judd

  (If I Had) Kellie Pickler's Boobs   (She's Got A Butt) Bigger Than The Beatles   1-900-Sheila   1/2   104 Amanda Street   270 Somethin'   A Night I Can't Remember   All I Want For Christmas Is Two Gold Front Teef   Bake Me A Country Ham   Breath   Breath [Multimedia Track]   Cadirac Style   Christ-Mas   Christ-Mas [*][Multimedia Track]   Christmas In Rehab   Cledus Don't Stop Eatin' for Nuthin'   Cledus T.   Cledus the Karaoke King   Cledus Went Down To Florida   Cledus' Christmas Ball   Cooter   Coronary Life   Dang It, I'm Vixen   Did I Shave My Back for This   Did I Shave My Back for This?   Don't Mess With America   Don't Serve Beans   Double D Cups   Every Bulb in the House Is Blown   Every Light In The House Is Blown   Feel Like A Pawn Star   First Redneck On The Internet   Garth Must Be Busy   Gone Funky (Parody "Gone Country" - Alan Jackson)   Gone Funky (Parody of Gone Country by Alan Jackson...   Goodbye Squirrel   Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer   Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere (Bonus Tra...   Hankenstein   Hazel's Homemade Hallelujah Punch   Hell No   Hillbilly Honeymoon   Hip Hop and Honky Tonk   How Do You Milk a Cow   I Love Nascar   I Was Country When Country Wasn't Pop   I'm Going Ugly Early Tonight   I'm Not In Here For Love (Just Yer Beer)   If George Strait Starts Dancin'   If Shania Was Mine   If Shania Was Mine [*][Multimedia Track]   If This Is Country Music   In Another Size   Indian In-Laws   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy   It's A Great Day To Be A Guy (Parody "It's A Great...   Jackson (Alan That Is)   Just Another Day In Paradise   Just Another Day In Parodies   Katie Bar The Door   Leave You Laughin'   Let's Burn One   Let's Shoot Dove   Livin' Like John Travolta   Man Of Constant Borrow   Martie, Emily & Natalie   Martie, Emily & Natalie (The Continuing Saga Of)   Merger On Music Row   Merry Christmas From The Whole Fam Damily   Merry Christmas From the Whole Fam Damily [*]   Mindy McCready   More Beaver   Motel Californie   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy   My Cellmate Thinks I'm Sexy (Parody 'She Thinks My...   My Crowd   My Voice   Natalie   New Car   One Jack Off   Only 364 Shopping Days 'Til Christmas   Paycheck Woman   Please Take The Girl   Please Take The Girl (Parody "Don't Take The Girl...   Plowboy   Polyrically Uncorrect   Psychic to the Stars   Quit Teasin' Me Ed   Refried Beans   Ricky Tidwell's Mama Is Gonna Play Football   Riding With Inmate Jerome   Santa Claus Is Watchin' You   Shade Tree Mechanic   Shania I'm Broke   She's Inflatable   Starkissed   Stephon The Alternative Lifestyle Reindeer   Stinkin' Problem   Stoled: The Copyright Infringement Incidnent   Swingin'   The Change   The Grundy County Spitting Incident   The House That Broke Me   Third Rock from Her Thumb   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody "Third Rock From...   Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody of Third Rock Fr...   Tree's On Fire   Waitin' On Obama   Washing Airplanes   We Own The World   What the *$@# Did You Say   What the xxxx Did You Say   Where the Grass Don't Grow   Where's Your Mommy?   Wife Naggin'   Willie's Got A Big Deck   Wives Do It All the Time   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody "Girls Do It All ...   Wives Do It All The Time (Parody of Girls Do It Al...   You Have No Right To Remain Violent

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