The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Aw geez
I'm trying to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree
The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
I want ant farmer for Christmas
Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?
Five months of bills
Ah, mailing out these cards!
Edith, get me a beer, huh!
What, we have no extension chord?!?
And finding a Christmas tree
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
Daddy, I want some candy!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills
Writing up those Christmas cards
Hangovers
Now why the hell are they blinking?
And finding a Christmas tree
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
Buy me something!
Get a job ya bum!
Facing the inlaws
Five months of bills
Yo ho, sending Christmas cards
Ah geez, look at this!
One light goes out, they all go out!
And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
I gotta go to the bathroom
Charities
She's a witch, I hate her!
Five months of bills
Oh, I don't even know half these people!
Who's got the toilet paper?
Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!
And finding a Christmas tree
The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Singing Christmas Carols
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking
Waaah!
Charities
Gotta make 'em dinner
Five months of bills
I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it!
Shut up, you!
Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!
And finding a Christmas tree