Hey, Merry Christmas, Adam!nMerry Christmas, Fred!nMerry Christmas to everyonenYeah mannYou having a good year?nYeah, It just feels good to be next to you here on the holidaysnHearing you say merry ChristmasnIt just warms my heart, mannIt's like soul food, like fired okranDude, I'm having a great holiday this year, It's awesomenYeah man, so you wanna sing for these people or what?nYeah, here we gonOkaynnOn the first day of ChristmasnMy true love gave to me nA partridge in a pear treenI don't even know what a partridge is, to be honestnA partridge is a birdnI think it's a bird that doesn't flynLike Danny Bonaduce?nUm, no, it's —nHe's ripped, ripped I'm telling younI heard he's a little, you know, fallen on the deep end, maybenOh, yeah, wellnHe's gonna kick my ass nownNo, it's against that napoleon complex, he's shortnnSo, on the, on the second day of ChristmasnMy true love gave to me two turtle dovesnAnd a partridge in a pear treenTurtle doves?nThey're nicenDo they have shells?nUh, I don't knownnBut, on the third day of ChristmasnMy true love gave to menThree French hensnTwo turtle dovesnAnd a partridge in a pear treenFrom now on can you singnAnd a Danny Bonaduce?n[Laughs]nnOn the fourth day of ChristmasnMy true love gave to menFour calling birdsnThree French hensnTwo turtle dovesnAnd a Danny BonaducenThat's good!nYeah, yeah, it works, the syllablesnnYeah, so I started to wonder nIf my true love, my old ladynWas going to get me anythingnOther than a bunch of birdsnYeah, they're all, like, pooping everywhere and stuff, it's grossnThey're hard to clean up afternSo far she got me four calling birds,nFrench hens, turtle dovesnThe French hens, which are the French hensnThey're eating all your cheesenDrinking up all your winenLike all hours of the daynI love FrancenSo, I was wondering whennShe was going to get me something goodnnAnd on the fifth day of ChristmasnMy true love gave to menFive golden ringsnNice!nYeah, I was finally happynFour calling birdsnThree French hensnTwo turtle dovesnAnd a Danny BonaducennSo, like, with the five golden ringsnThat's kinda nicenYeah, but on the sixth daynShe started getting—nLike Lil WaynenOr what's another rappernThat has like a bunch of silly jewelry?nUm, I don't know any, mannnBut, on the sixth daynIt kinda went downhillnAnd the seventh cause she got menSix geese a-layingnGeese a-laying?nLike laying down?nNo, like, geese that are layingnLike, ohhh, likenThat's grossnYeah, I don't know about thatnAnd then on the seventh day—nI often wonder how geese would go about doing thatnIf you're picking up what I'm putting downnI-I don't want to talk about it, mannOkaynnOn the seventh day?nSeventh daynSeven swans swimmingnMore birds!nSwimming?nI hate itnLike in ponds or in your bathtub?nnOn the eight day it got really weirdnCause on the eight day of ChristmasnMy true love gave to menEight maids a-milkingnWhat?!nYeah!nWhat, are they milking the geese cause they're laying?nI think they're like lactating or somethingnI don't get thatnYeahnI'm not into itnnBut, on the ninth day of ChristmasnMy true love gave to menNine ladies dancingnNice! Okay, coolnOh, well that explains the maids a-milkingnNo, these were like exotic dancersnLike you can see on the internetnYeah, it was nicenThere was like one of those poles and all that stuffnYeah, but this is your old lady nThat's getting you all these thingsnThat's kinda weirdnI know, but she's looking out for me, you knownTenth day, tenth daynOkaynnOn the tenth day it got crazy againnCause she gave me ten lords a -leapingnLike the dark lords?nI don't knownThat's so weirdnnAnd then the eleventh daynPipers pipingnPipers piping?nThese are, by far, the strangest gifts I have ever receivednI don't understandnWait, like, laying pipe?nNo, that's the geese that are laying pipenOh, well maybe they're laying it with the pipersnWhich would be weird all togethernnBut, on the twelfth day of ChristmasnThis is the last daynMy true love gave to menTwelve drummers drummingnEverybody could use a good drummernYeah, I could use twelve drummersnYeahnThe Grateful Dead had two drummersnDude, Slipknot has like tennYeahnDid you get to, like, choose which drummersnOr are they just studio guys?nI think they were pretty bad assnOh, coolnI mean, not that Mark's notnI mean, Mark's kicking some assnYeahnYou knownWas he one of the twelve?nUm, I don't know, butnnSo, let's go down the listnAnd finish this godforsaken song offnOh, okaynAnd wish everyone a very merry ChristmasnnTwelve drummers drummingnEleven pipers pipingnTen lords a-leapingnNine ladies dancingnLet's give it up for the ladies dancingnGo ladiesnOkaynEight maids a-milkingnSeven swans a-swimmingnSix geese a-layingnFive golden ringsnFour calling birdsnThree French hensnTwo turtle dovesnAnd a Danny BonaducennMerry Christmas!nMerry Christmas!nAlright