Chat Room
Bob Rivers

(Convoy - CW McCall)


('Well, hello, Mickey17 here.')

('I'm uh, 17 years old.')

('Yeah, tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. People tell me I look like one of the Backstreet Boys.')

('Which one? Uh, Huey or maybe Dewey'.)

('I'd like to meet you too. What are you doing in 8 to 10 years?')


It was dark in my room

Like an ancient tomb

'cept the monitor burnin' bright

I was tryin' to meet girls on the internet

But I hadn't had a doggone bite


I was looking for love at 56K

Typin' smut from town to town

Said 'I'm a twenty-two year old college coed

And I'm about to pull my panties down.'


'Cuz were in a little chat room

Typing through the night

My left hands' on my mouse and

I'm tickling the keys with my right

Come on and join our chat room

Who you wanna to be today?

Thoughts go around this chat room

Anything's okay


Chat room

Chat room


('Well! What a coincidence. I am a lesbian too.')


By the time the sun was comin' up

I'd met girls from all 50 states

Typin' 40 words a minute with just one hand

So the other could co-allate


Yeah, them keys was humming

Like a Whitehouse intern

Toying with a chick in Belair

But the truth made me sick

She sent me a pic

And it had a lot of mustache hair


'Cuz we're in a great big chat room

Typing through the night

Got me a chat room pen pal

Hope she's a beautiful sight

Come on and join our chat room

Who you gonna meet today

Try your luck in the chat room

Across the cyberspace


Chat Room

Chat Room

Chat Room'


('I received your jpeg. Please resend. The photo appears to have smudged. It looks like you have a mustache'Hahaha LOL.')

('Perhaps we could meet in a more private room?')

('Back door?')

('Chip, is that you? You get your ass to bed before I come up there and disconnect your mo-dem!')


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Lyrics by Bob Rivers

  12 Days Of Layoffs   12 Pains Of Christmas   401k   50 Ways To Eat Your Lover   7-11   7-11 (Seven Eleven)   96 Beers   A Message From The King   A Visit From St. Nicholson   A Visit From StNicholson   Acid Rain   ADD   Addicted To (Cigarette) Butts   All You Need Is Elves   American Pie Eulogy   Another Kick In The Balls   Are They Gonna Fry OJ?   Back In A US Made Car   Beat Up Old Jetliner   Beers In Heaven   Bin Laden And The Jets   Bowel Moves   Burgers On The Grill   Cats In The Kettle   Cheney's Got A Gun   Cheney's Got A Gun   Clean the Cat Box   Cows With Guns   Dark Side Of Naboo   Denny Way   Dirty Deeds (Done With Sheep)   Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep   Dr. Jack   Foreigners   Free As A Turd   Frosty The Pervert   Gates Is Such A Rich Man   George Bush Told Lies   Get Off My House   Getting Fatter All The Time   Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas   Hello, I Love You (Let's Get Tested For AIDS)   Hello, I Love You (Lets get tested for AIDS)   Honda Accord   How It Feels (To Be Old)   I Am Santa Claus   I Can't Ski Babe   I Love Your Breasts The Way They Are   I Shot The White House   I Used To Rock And Roll All Night   I'm A Weight Watcher   I'm Dressin' Up Like Santa (When I Get Out On Paro...   I'm A Weight Watcher   It's In His Piss (The Snoop Snoop Song)   It's The Most Fattening Time Of The Year   Jingle Bells   Jingle Hells Bells   Kill The Wabbit   Long Distance Company   Marv Bites   Media Killed The Royalty Star   Middle Aged Wasteline   Minimum Wage   Mr. Magoo   O Come All Ye Grateful Dead Heads   O Come All Ye Grateful Dead-Heads   O Little Town of Bethlehem   Officer Fuhrman   Oj's Trial Thing   On A Horse With Hussein   OxyContin Eater   PMS   Pokemon   Police Stop My Car   Read It In The Tabloids   Rusty Chevrolet   Shoppin' Around For A Christmas Tree   Shouldn't touch this   Shouldn't Touch This (Pee Wee's Song)   Space Station Oddity   Spacestation Oddity   Spinning Reel   The Chimney Song   The Handicap Can   The No Smoking Song   The Restroom Door Said,   The Restroom Door Said, 'Gentlemen'   The Twelve Pains of Christmas   The Twelve Pains of Christmas [*]   The Twelve Pains of Christmas [*]   The Twelve Pains of Christmas [*]   Toy Sack   Vatican Man   Walking Around In Women's Underwear   We Wish You Weren't Living With Us   We Wish You Weren't Living With Us   What If Eminem Did Jingle Bells   What If Eminem Did Jingle Bells?   What If God Smoked Cannabis?   When A Man Loves A Chicken   Who Put The Stump?   Wreck the Malls   Wreck the Malls   Wrong Foot Amputated   Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow!   You Will, By Bright Eyes

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