Roland The Roadie And Gertrude The Groupie
Shel Silverstein

(SPOKEN INTRO: Now Roland the Roadie was only a toadie
Who set up the lights and the mikes for the show
And Gertrude the Groupie was a rock 'n roll fan
Who stood by the stage door in the rains and the snows.)

Roland the Roadie met Gertrude the Groupie
At a rock concert back in Bayonne.
He tried to seduce her, said he'd introduce her
To all of the Beatles and Stones.

Roland the Roadie got Gertrude the Groupie
A seat in the balcony above.
And Gertrude the Groupie felt grateful and groovy
But Roland the Roadie felt love...

CHORUS:
And some folks love ham hocks
And some folks love pork chops
And some folks love vegetable soup
And Roland the Roadie loves Gertrude the Groupie
But Gertrude the Groupie loves groups!

She stood up and screamed as the amber spot beamed
On her heroes so skinny and tall
With the eyelids so droopy, and Gertrude the Groupie
Knew she was in love with them all!

Roland the Roadie told Gertrude the Groupie
To wait, and he'd be her man
But while he dreamt of a rose-covered home
She was out with the group in the van

(interlude where Dennis shouts: Gertie...Gertie!
I know you're in there, baby--
The whole trailer's movin', baby!
What about me?
Gertie....Gertie?)

Now Roland the Roadie is back on the road
His heart has been broken again
And Gertrude the Groupie waits out in the cold
For the very next group to come in

CHORUS
And some folks love ham hocks
And some folks love pork chops
And some folks love vegetable soup
And Roland the Roadie loves Gertrude the Groupie
But Gertrude the Groupie loves groups...groups...groups..
(word repeats as Dennis laments: she likes congos, trios, anybody,
baby! and other ravings)


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Lyrics by Shel Silverstein

  (Pour Me Another) Tequila Sheila   $100,000 in Pennies   25 Minutes To Go   A Couple More Years   A Front Row Seat To Hear Ole Johnny Sing   A Front Row Seat to Hear Ole Johnny Sing [*]   Acapulco Goldie   Alimoney (Also recorded as "Alimony")   All About You   All The Time In The World   Aphrodisiac   Back Home In Huntsville Again   Beans Taste Fine   Better Not Ask Me   Beware Of Lovers   Bigtime   Blue Eyes   Boa Constrictor   Bottomless Well   Boy Named Sue   Bread Upon The Waters   Bury Me In My Shades   Carry Me, Carrie   Centaur   Changing of the Seasons   Civil War Song   Cloudy Sky   Cornflakes With Sugar And Teardrops   Cover Of The Rolling Stone   Daddy, What If?   Dance To It   Date In Dallas   Daylight Dreamer   Diet Song   Dirty Feet   Drain My Brain   Drop The Bomb   Drunk And Crazy   Everybody Got Some But Me (Rauncy Playboy Version)   Everybody Got Some But Me (Tame Recorded Version)   Father Of A Boy Named Sue   February Snow   First Battalion   Floobie Doobie Doo   Food Blues   Get Away   Get My Rocks Off   Go Back, Learn To Use That Thing   Goodnight Little House Plant   Goodnight, Little Houseplant   Gotta Get Rid Of This Band   Greasy Grit Gravy   Grizzly Bear   Hamlet As Told On The Street   Handy Man   Have Another Espresso   Help Me, Mama   Hey Nelly Nelly!   Hey, Lady Godiva   Hoodoo Voodoo Lady   I Call That True Love   I Gave Her Comfort   I Got Stoned and I Missed It   I Hear America Singing   I Never Got To Know Her   I Once Knew A Woman   In The Hills of Shiloh   Inside A Lion   It Does Not Pay To Be Hip   Jaded   Jennifer Johnson and Me   Judy   June 25th At The 4th Of July   Jungle To The Zoo   Just Came Down For The Weekend   Kick It Again   Killed By A Coconut   Kiss It Away   Liberated Lady 1999   Little Green Buttons   Living Legend   Liz   Lullabys, Legends And Lies   Marie Laveaux   Masochistic Baby   Me And Jimmie Rodgers   Mermaid   Michaelangelo   Midnight Sunshine   Modern Talk   Monterey Jack   More Like The Movies   Mountain Mary   My Next Impersonation   Never Be This Young Again   Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh   Numbers   Oh, You Engineer   On The Way To The Bottom   Paranoid   Pathetic Way Of Getting Over Me   Paul   Peanut Butter Sandwich   Peanut-Butter Sandwich   Penicillin Penny   Perfect High (Or The Quest For Gimmesome Roy)   Plastic   Polly In A Porny   Put A Little Bit On Me   Put Another Log On The Fire   Quaaludes Again   Queen Of The Silver Dollar   Raquel Welch   Red-Neck Hippie Romance   Rest Awhile   Rings Of Grass   Rock & Roll Hotel   Row, Row, Row   Sahra Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garb...   Sausalito Witch   Scum Of The Earth   Show It At The Beach   Sing Me A Rainbow   Sing Us Some Of The Old Songs   Six Days Back At Home   So Good To So Bad   Somebody Stole My Rig   Someone Ate The Baby (Dreadful)   Stacy Brown Got Two   Standing On The Outside Of Your Shelter   Still Gonna Die   Sweetest Of All   Testing The Bomb   That Plane   The Avocado Tree   The Ballad of Lucy Jordan   The Clam   The Danger Of A Stranger   The Devil And Billy Markham   The Diet   The Diet Song   The Father Of The Boy Named Sue   The Giving Tree   The Golden Kiss   The Great Conch Train Robbery   The Great Lakes Song   The Lady With The Torch   The Man Who Got No Sign   The Man Who Turns The Damn Thing Off And On   The Mermaid   The Mermaid Of Ontario   The Monkey And The Elephant   The Peace Proposal   The Perfect Wave   The Radio   The Slitheree-Dee   The Smoke Off   The Ugliest Man in Town   The Unemployment Line   The Winner   The Wonderful Soup Stone   They Held Me Down   Thirteen Tons of Ice Cream   This Guitar Is For Sale   Three-Legged Man   Thumbsucker   Time   Truck Driver, Truck Driver   True Story   True Story [#][*]   Turn On The World   Ugliest Man In Town   Uncle Don   Up On The Mountain   Vanilla   Vegas   Vegematic   Warm And Free   What Have You Dont For Me Lately?   When She Cries   Whiplash Will   Whistlers And Jugglers   With His Mouth Full Of Food   Yellow-Haired Woman   Yes, Mr. Rodgers   Yowzah!

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