The Last Australian Guitar Hero
TISM

in a tiny inner-city pub, the amps were being stacked
leads were getting wound up, it was full of pissed anzacs
got no more gigs for tuesday nights, said the barman to the star
we're putting pokies in the lounge and strippers in the bar
the star, he raised his fingers and said, fuck this fuckin hole
but to his faithful roadie he says, it's the death of rock and roll

there ain't a single place that's left to play amplified guitar
every place is serving long blacks and become a become a tapist bar
his dirty denim jacket was gaffered and turning black
hair was missing on his forehead but it reached right down his back
i don't blame that barman bastard he told his roadie, hey, fuck no
i blame all those faggot wankers, who are playing this techno

brothers couldn't work it out, get fucked, they can kiss my rotten ass
work out what happened to real music, is what i'd like to ask
everything is all machine, run with middy and lay dash,
but all they do is go ping ping ping like a truck that's backing back
who the fuck are the chemical brothers, that they now call the shots
goldies the name of the light beer, elastica holds up socks
the roadies sat there silent next to the ejaculating star
what's the fucken point of drum and bass, if no one can play guitar?

CHORUS
aussie, (aussie guitar)
aussie, (aussie guitar)

have you seen those fucken clubbers, with their peroxided dreds?
dressed up in fucking adidas, like fucking fucked fuckheads
i wouldn't drop a tab of E, if you fuckin paid me man
i got the guts for LSD, and the only jungle i know is man
these roadies sat still silent, but then he finally began to speak
actually star, i maybe shoulda told you this last week
but i scored a job as DJ at the latest techno club
i'm sick of working with a loser, see ya later bob

well the roadie owned the PA and the roadie owned the ute,
the roadie told star to get out or he'd bash one up his shoot
and there on that cold freeway, star walked along alone
of course he got kicked out halfway between emergency telephones

CHORUS
aussie
aussie, (aussie guitar)
aussie, (aussie guitar)
aussie, (aussie guitar)
aussie, (aussie guitar)
aussie, (what a man, what a man, what a man)

fuck ya's all, said star aloud in the emergency stopping lane
to quote from that chick juliet, hey what's in her name?
a good song's just a good song, just the same as long ago
but dressing up as something new and suddenly you're picasso
every white bald pommy cunt, thinks that you're so hip
read MNE from ten years ago and there's all the same dickslip
prodigy are just the band who are getting it just this year
rolling stones got no more cred. than fucken new idea

stars anguish voice rolls in grief as he cryed unto the moon
in the end when all is said and done, a tune's just a fucking tune
star played his amp far too loud, his hearing was sorta gone
so he never heard the grinding squeal as the truckie put the brakes on
26 road train wheels, played a tune upon his head
he just wondered into the traffic, the distraught driver said
the cops had seen it all before, the ambels washed the freeway clean
there ain't no contest when you put a man against a machine

aussie
aussie (aussie guitar)
aussie (aussie guitar)
aussie (what a man, what a man, what a man)
aussie
aussie
aussie, (aussie guitar)
aussie,
aussie,
aussie, (it's a man against machine)


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Lyrics by TISM

  (He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River   (I Think I’ve Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out   (There's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite   40 Years - Then Death   A Face Full Of Divertamenti   Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder   All Homeboys Are Dickheads   All Ordinaries Index   Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'Don't Walk'   Aussiemandias   Babies Bite Back   Bash This Up Your Ginger   Been Caught Wankin'   BFW   Bishop = Handjob   Boot Party   Channel Turd   Choose Bad Smack   Come Back DJ, Your Record Is Scratched   Dazed And Confucious   Death Death Death   Death Death Death (Live at the Old Greek Theatre)   Defecate On My Face   Defecate On My Face (Country Version)   Defecate On My Face (MGF Remix)   Denial Works For Me   Dicktatorship   Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen   Dumb 'N' Base   Eckermann Is Very Silly   Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me   Existentialtism   Ezra Pound, Axe-King   Father And Son   Five Yards   Fourteen Years In Rowville   Fuck ’Em Fuck ’Em - The Lot Of â€...   Garbage   Gas! Gas! - An Ecstasy Of Fumbling   Get Thee In My Behind, Satan   Get Thee To A Nunnery   Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown   Give Up For Australia   Great Expectorations   Greg! The Stop Sign!!   Honk If You Love Fred Durst   I Don't Want TISM, I Want A Girlfriend   I Drive A Truck   I Shit Me   I'll 'Ave Ya   I'm Interested In Apathy   I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Whittle Away M...   I’m Into Led Zep   If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie...   If You're Creative, Get Stuffed   If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished   If You’re Ugly, Forget It   Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge   Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode   Julius Seizure (Act III Scene II Verses 73-118)   Jung Talent Time   Kate - Fischer Of Men   Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 1   Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 2   Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 4   Kill Americans   Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush   Ladies And Gentlemen - The Judeo-Christian Ethic   Leo’s Toltoy   Let's Form A Company   Let’s Club It To Death   Life Kills   Lillee Caught Dilley Bowled Milli Vanilli   Lose Your Delusion I   Lose Your Delusion II   Loser, Losing, Lost   Martin Scorsese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow   Michael Jackson’s Conveyor Belt   Mistah Eliot - He Wanker   Morrison Hostel   Mourningtown Ride   Mr. Ches Baragwanath, State Auditor-General   My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea   My Generation   Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours   Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The House O...   Opposite Day   Play Mistral For Me   Professor Derrida Deconstructs   Pus   Pus Of The Dead   Rebel Without A Paunch   Recorded By JJJ, 24/1/93, Melbourne Showgrounds   Root   Saturday Night Palsy   Schoolies Week   Strictly Loungeroom   Take Your Love   Ten Points For A Razor Scooter   The Back Upon Which Jezza Jumped   The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie   The Ballad Of The Semitic Nazi   The Fosters Car Park Boogie   The Men's Room   The Mordialloc Rd. Duplicator   The Mystery Of The Artist Explained   The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happy Is Tha...   The Parable Of Glenn McGrath's Haircut   The TISM Boat Hire Offer   The TISM Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues   There’s More Men In Children Than Wisdom Kn...   Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear   Thunderbirds Are Coming Out   Volare   We Are The Champignons   Whatareya?   While My Catarrh Gently Weeps   Whinge Rock   Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The...   X-Treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse   Yob

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