It was a drizzly, drinkin' Nashville nightAnd everything was wrong.My beer was flat and the jukebox cranked outSomebody else's song.I turned my head and down the barStarin' straight at meWas the dried upest, washoutest, ugliest creatureI never hoped to see. She winked at me with one bloodshot eye,Flashed a toothless smile,And in a whiskey whisper said,Boy, come and sit with me a while.Wanna buy me a drink. No?...Well, then I'll buy us both a pair.She crossed her veiny legs and fluffied upHe orange hair. She said, well, I guess you're a songwriter.I've see your kind for yearsSniffin' around the edge of lifeHopin' you might hearSome word or catchy little phraseThat you can steal for pay...Somethin' the real poets, us common people,Simply throw away. So, how you doin' tiger?Did you set this town on fire?You got gold records on your wall?You got a chauffeur diven car?Oh, you say the town's against you?And you're givin' up the fight?Well, cheer up son and drink up,'Cause tonight's your lucky night. Now it's fate that you walked in this barAnd found me alone like this.You got the hungries and the bluesAnd I got the Golden Kiss.What is that you mall well ask.Well, the gospel truth of itIs the night I love a songwriter,He ALWAYS writes a hit. I mean a monster, a standard, a super smash.Not just a number one.But the kind the world will keep on singing When we're dead and gone.But to write that kind of masterpiece,Some magic is essential,So sit a little closer, son,The next part's confidential. I was with Hank the very nightHe wrote Your Cheatin' Heart.I Slipped Around with FloydAnd that song gave the boy his start.You've heard Please Release Me.These lips made Eddie write itAnd El Paso came to MartyJust a moment after I did. Billy Edd wrote Jackson'Cause we spent the weekend there.Mooney scribble Crazy ArmsOn a pillow case we shared.P.D. woke up and looked at meAnd wrote Mule Skinner Blues.And Don left me at midnightMutterin' Born to Lose Harlan spent the night and he goBusted the next day.Hank opened up his eyes and whisperedMake the World Go Away.Yeah, Cryin' Time and Lonesome MeIt's an endless list.And they were all wrote, note for note,Because of this Golden Kiss. Don't ask me how I do it, son.I really do not know.But anyway, we've had our dink.You wanna head on home?Well, I sat and stared a whileAt that withered wasted wreck.But Crazy Arms and Cheatin' HeartWell, what the heck.I took her home and, well,Some things are better left unsaidBut I slept that nightWith Golden records spinnin' through my headBut when I woke up next mornin'There was no song in my mind.She said, some get it right away, son...Others take a little time. Well, six months go by and then six yearsOf those Golden Kisses.Wakin' up with no ideas, no songs, or fame, or riches.Then this mornin' lightnin' strikes.A song that cannot miss.I'll write a ditty about that biddyWith her Golden Kiss. So here it is, the all-time smashThat's gonna make me rich.And if it don't, I'm goin' homeAnd kill that lyin' bitch.
Lyrics by Shel Silverstein
(Pour Me Another) Tequila Sheila $100,000 in Pennies 25 Minutes To Go A Couple More Years A Front Row Seat To Hear Ole Johnny Sing A Front Row Seat to Hear Ole Johnny Sing [*] Acapulco Goldie Alimoney (Also recorded as "Alimony") All About You All The Time In The World Aphrodisiac Back Home In Huntsville Again Beans Taste Fine Better Not Ask Me Beware Of Lovers Bigtime Blue Eyes Boa Constrictor Bottomless Well Boy Named Sue Bread Upon The Waters Bury Me In My Shades Carry Me, Carrie Centaur Changing of the Seasons Civil War Song Cloudy Sky Cornflakes With Sugar And Teardrops Cover Of The Rolling Stone Daddy, What If? Dance To It Date In Dallas Daylight Dreamer Diet Song Dirty Feet Drain My Brain Drop The Bomb Drunk And Crazy Everybody Got Some But Me (Rauncy Playboy Version) Everybody Got Some But Me (Tame Recorded Version) Father Of A Boy Named Sue February Snow First Battalion Floobie Doobie Doo Food Blues Get Away Get My Rocks Off Go Back, Learn To Use That Thing Goodnight Little House Plant Goodnight, Little Houseplant Gotta Get Rid Of This Band Greasy Grit Gravy Grizzly Bear Hamlet As Told On The Street Handy Man Have Another Espresso Help Me, Mama Hey Nelly Nelly! Hey, Lady Godiva Hoodoo Voodoo Lady I Call That True Love I Gave Her Comfort I Got Stoned and I Missed It I Hear America Singing I Never Got To Know Her I Once Knew A Woman In The Hills of Shiloh Inside A Lion It Does Not Pay To Be Hip Jaded Jennifer Johnson and Me Judy June 25th At The 4th Of July Jungle To The Zoo Just Came Down For The Weekend Kick It Again Killed By A Coconut Kiss It Away Liberated Lady 1999 Little Green Buttons Living Legend Liz Lullabys, Legends And Lies Marie Laveaux Masochistic Baby Me And Jimmie Rodgers Mermaid Michaelangelo Midnight Sunshine Modern Talk Monterey Jack More Like The Movies Mountain Mary My Next Impersonation Never Be This Young Again Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh Numbers Oh, You Engineer On The Way To The Bottom Paranoid Pathetic Way Of Getting Over Me Paul Peanut Butter Sandwich Peanut-Butter Sandwich Penicillin Penny Perfect High (Or The Quest For Gimmesome Roy) Plastic Polly In A Porny Put A Little Bit On Me Put Another Log On The Fire Quaaludes Again Queen Of The Silver Dollar Raquel Welch Red-Neck Hippie Romance Rest Awhile Rings Of Grass Rock & Roll Hotel Roland The Roadie And Gertrude The Groupie Row, Row, Row Sahra Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garb... Sausalito Witch Scum Of The Earth Show It At The Beach Sing Me A Rainbow Sing Us Some Of The Old Songs Six Days Back At Home So Good To So Bad Somebody Stole My Rig Someone Ate The Baby (Dreadful) Stacy Brown Got Two Standing On The Outside Of Your Shelter Still Gonna Die Sweetest Of All Testing The Bomb That Plane The Avocado Tree The Ballad of Lucy Jordan The Clam The Danger Of A Stranger The Devil And Billy Markham The Diet The Diet Song The Father Of The Boy Named Sue The Giving Tree The Great Conch Train Robbery The Great Lakes Song The Lady With The Torch The Man Who Got No Sign The Man Who Turns The Damn Thing Off And On The Mermaid The Mermaid Of Ontario The Monkey And The Elephant The Peace Proposal The Perfect Wave The Radio The Slitheree-Dee The Smoke Off The Ugliest Man in Town The Unemployment Line The Winner The Wonderful Soup Stone They Held Me Down Thirteen Tons of Ice Cream This Guitar Is For Sale Three-Legged Man Thumbsucker Time Truck Driver, Truck Driver True Story True Story [#][*] Turn On The World Ugliest Man In Town Uncle Don Up On The Mountain Vanilla Vegas Vegematic Warm And Free What Have You Dont For Me Lately? When She Cries Whiplash Will Whistlers And Jugglers With His Mouth Full Of Food Yellow-Haired Woman Yes, Mr. Rodgers Yowzah!