He just had a stress test, and he was fineHis cholesterol level was down to 209.He saved up his money, retired to the tropic seaThere he was resting contentedly underneath a tall palm treeWhen he was... killed by a coconutKilled by a coconutJust when things were lookin' up...He happened to be lookin' down.Yeah, he was... killed by a coconut (and you could be)Killed by a coconut (that's why you never should be)Sittin' underneath a coconut treeWhen the coconut come down.After five years of beggin' and pleadin'She finally said yes.They slipped into his apartment,She slipped out of her dress.He lit up some incense, and unplugged the phoneAnd was just about to enter the twilight zoneWhen he was... killed by a coconut (oh, what a feeling)Killed by a coconut (it came through the ceiling)The people upstairs were havin' a luauAnd one fell through the floor.And you'll be killed by a coconut (if you ain't protected)Killed by a coconut (they come unexpected)So never be lyin' in bed at night with the one that you adore.He got the promotion, he felt great.He took everybody in the office out to celebrate.He ordered up pina coladas all around,And they made a toast, he drank it down and made a gasping sound.And he was... killed by a coconut (a great big cold one)Killed by a coconut (he swallowed a whole one)The young bartender was just out of schoolAnd put the whole damn coconut inHe was... killed by a coconut (it ain't no joke)You could be killed by a coconut (gasp and choke)So never be drinkin' in a bar at nightSurrounded by all of your friendsHe came back from Vietnam without even a scar (guy was a hero)Started drivin' them demolition derby carsHe joined the police forceSurvived a shoot out or two (uh oh, I think I see what's comin')Now he was heathily joggin' down the avenueWhen he was...Killed by a pineapple (they were out of coconuts)Killed by a pineapple (felt just like a coconut)The A&P truck hit a telephone pole and fruit went flyin' everywhereSo, if there's plans you got (big, big plans you got)Just make sure you're not just not (just make sure you're not)Joggin' down the road on a sunny afternoon'Cause coconuts are lurkin' out thereAnd you'll be...Killed by a coconut (what a way to die now)Killed by a coconut (everybody cry now)Fate has a way of makin' you pay for all wrongs you doAnd all the plans you got (all the plans you got)Ain't gonna mean a lot (ain't gonna mean a lot)When you meet up with the coconutThat's out there waitin' for youYeah, the plans you got - will not mean a lotWhen you take a shot - that don't feel so hotAnd ready or not, you come to the spotYour coconut's waitin' for you.(Somewhere there's a tropical fruit with your name on it)
Lyrics by Shel Silverstein
(Pour Me Another) Tequila Sheila $100,000 in Pennies 25 Minutes To Go A Couple More Years A Front Row Seat To Hear Ole Johnny Sing A Front Row Seat to Hear Ole Johnny Sing [*] Acapulco Goldie Alimoney (Also recorded as "Alimony") All About You All The Time In The World Aphrodisiac Back Home In Huntsville Again Beans Taste Fine Better Not Ask Me Beware Of Lovers Bigtime Blue Eyes Boa Constrictor Bottomless Well Boy Named Sue Bread Upon The Waters Bury Me In My Shades Carry Me, Carrie Centaur Changing of the Seasons Civil War Song Cloudy Sky Cornflakes With Sugar And Teardrops Cover Of The Rolling Stone Daddy, What If? Dance To It Date In Dallas Daylight Dreamer Diet Song Dirty Feet Drain My Brain Drop The Bomb Drunk And Crazy Everybody Got Some But Me (Rauncy Playboy Version) Everybody Got Some But Me (Tame Recorded Version) Father Of A Boy Named Sue February Snow First Battalion Floobie Doobie Doo Food Blues Get Away Get My Rocks Off Go Back, Learn To Use That Thing Goodnight Little House Plant Goodnight, Little Houseplant Gotta Get Rid Of This Band Greasy Grit Gravy Grizzly Bear Hamlet As Told On The Street Handy Man Have Another Espresso Help Me, Mama Hey Nelly Nelly! Hey, Lady Godiva Hoodoo Voodoo Lady I Call That True Love I Gave Her Comfort I Got Stoned and I Missed It I Hear America Singing I Never Got To Know Her I Once Knew A Woman In The Hills of Shiloh Inside A Lion It Does Not Pay To Be Hip Jaded Jennifer Johnson and Me Judy June 25th At The 4th Of July Jungle To The Zoo Just Came Down For The Weekend Kick It Again Kiss It Away Liberated Lady 1999 Little Green Buttons Living Legend Liz Lullabys, Legends And Lies Marie Laveaux Masochistic Baby Me And Jimmie Rodgers Mermaid Michaelangelo Midnight Sunshine Modern Talk Monterey Jack More Like The Movies Mountain Mary My Next Impersonation Never Be This Young Again Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh Numbers Oh, You Engineer On The Way To The Bottom Paranoid Pathetic Way Of Getting Over Me Paul Peanut Butter Sandwich Peanut-Butter Sandwich Penicillin Penny Perfect High (Or The Quest For Gimmesome Roy) Plastic Polly In A Porny Put A Little Bit On Me Put Another Log On The Fire Quaaludes Again Queen Of The Silver Dollar Raquel Welch Red-Neck Hippie Romance Rest Awhile Rings Of Grass Rock & Roll Hotel Roland The Roadie And Gertrude The Groupie Row, Row, Row Sahra Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garb... Sausalito Witch Scum Of The Earth Show It At The Beach Sing Me A Rainbow Sing Us Some Of The Old Songs Six Days Back At Home So Good To So Bad Somebody Stole My Rig Someone Ate The Baby (Dreadful) Stacy Brown Got Two Standing On The Outside Of Your Shelter Still Gonna Die Sweetest Of All Testing The Bomb That Plane The Avocado Tree The Ballad of Lucy Jordan The Clam The Danger Of A Stranger The Devil And Billy Markham The Diet The Diet Song The Father Of The Boy Named Sue The Giving Tree The Golden Kiss The Great Conch Train Robbery The Great Lakes Song The Lady With The Torch The Man Who Got No Sign The Man Who Turns The Damn Thing Off And On The Mermaid The Mermaid Of Ontario The Monkey And The Elephant The Peace Proposal The Perfect Wave The Radio The Slitheree-Dee The Smoke Off The Ugliest Man in Town The Unemployment Line The Winner The Wonderful Soup Stone They Held Me Down Thirteen Tons of Ice Cream This Guitar Is For Sale Three-Legged Man Thumbsucker Time Truck Driver, Truck Driver True Story True Story [#][*] Turn On The World Ugliest Man In Town Uncle Don Up On The Mountain Vanilla Vegas Vegematic Warm And Free What Have You Dont For Me Lately? When She Cries Whiplash Will Whistlers And Jugglers With His Mouth Full Of Food Yellow-Haired Woman Yes, Mr. Rodgers Yowzah!