[Silverstein's speaking voice:] ”Okay… now years ago, I wrote a song named “A Boy Named Sue”, and that was okay and everything, except then I started to think about it, and I thought, “It is unfair. I am looking at the whole thing from the poor kid’s point of view. And as I get more older and more fatherly, I begin to look at things from an old man’s point of view. So… I decided to give the old man equal time. Okay. Here we go.”Yeah, I lef’ home when the kid was three.It sure felt good to be fancy freeTho I knew it wasn’t quite the fatherly thing to do.But that kid kept screamin’ and throwin’ upAnd pissin’ in his pants til I had enoughSo just for revenge I went and named him Sue.It was Gatlinberg in mid JulyI was gettin' drunk but gettin' byGettin' old and going from bad to worseWhen thru the door with an awful screamComes the ugliest queen I’ve ever seenHe says my name is Sue. How do you do?Then he hits me with his purse.Now this ain’t the way he tells the taleBut he scratched my face with his fingernailsAnd then he bit my thumband kicked me with his high-heeled shoe.So I hit him in the nose, and he started to cryAnd he threw some perfume in my eyeAnd it sure ain’t easy fightin with a boy named Sue.So I hit him in the head with a caned-back chairAnd he screamed, “Hey Dad, you mussed my hair!”And he hit me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint.He was spittin' blood. I was spittin teeth.And we crashed through the wall and out into the streetA-kickin and gougin' in the mud and the blood and the crème de menth.Then out of his garter he pulls a gun.I’m about to get shot by my very own son.He’s screamin' about Sigmond Freud and lookin' grim.So I thought fast and I told him some stuffHow I named him Sue just to make him tough.And I guess he bought it, cuz now I’m livin' with him.Yeah, he cooks and sews and cleans up the place.He cuts my hair and shaves my face.And irons my shirts better than a daughter could do.And on the nights that I can’t score,Well, I can’t tell you anymore.Sure is a joy to have a boy named Sue.Yeah, a son is fun,But it’s a joy to have a boy named Sue.
Lyrics by Shel Silverstein
(Pour Me Another) Tequila Sheila $100,000 in Pennies 25 Minutes To Go A Couple More Years A Front Row Seat To Hear Ole Johnny Sing A Front Row Seat to Hear Ole Johnny Sing [*] Acapulco Goldie Alimoney (Also recorded as "Alimony") All About You All The Time In The World Aphrodisiac Back Home In Huntsville Again Beans Taste Fine Better Not Ask Me Beware Of Lovers Bigtime Blue Eyes Boa Constrictor Bottomless Well Boy Named Sue Bread Upon The Waters Bury Me In My Shades Carry Me, Carrie Centaur Changing of the Seasons Civil War Song Cloudy Sky Cornflakes With Sugar And Teardrops Cover Of The Rolling Stone Daddy, What If? Dance To It Date In Dallas Daylight Dreamer Diet Song Dirty Feet Drain My Brain Drop The Bomb Drunk And Crazy Everybody Got Some But Me (Rauncy Playboy Version) Everybody Got Some But Me (Tame Recorded Version) Father Of A Boy Named Sue February Snow First Battalion Floobie Doobie Doo Food Blues Get Away Get My Rocks Off Go Back, Learn To Use That Thing Goodnight Little House Plant Goodnight, Little Houseplant Gotta Get Rid Of This Band Greasy Grit Gravy Grizzly Bear Hamlet As Told On The Street Handy Man Have Another Espresso Help Me, Mama Hey Nelly Nelly! Hey, Lady Godiva Hoodoo Voodoo Lady I Call That True Love I Gave Her Comfort I Got Stoned and I Missed It I Hear America Singing I Never Got To Know Her I Once Knew A Woman In The Hills of Shiloh Inside A Lion It Does Not Pay To Be Hip Jaded Jennifer Johnson and Me Judy June 25th At The 4th Of July Jungle To The Zoo Just Came Down For The Weekend Kick It Again Killed By A Coconut Kiss It Away Liberated Lady 1999 Little Green Buttons Living Legend Liz Lullabys, Legends And Lies Marie Laveaux Masochistic Baby Me And Jimmie Rodgers Mermaid Michaelangelo Midnight Sunshine Modern Talk Monterey Jack More Like The Movies Mountain Mary My Next Impersonation Never Be This Young Again Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh Numbers Oh, You Engineer On The Way To The Bottom Paranoid Pathetic Way Of Getting Over Me Paul Peanut Butter Sandwich Peanut-Butter Sandwich Penicillin Penny Perfect High (Or The Quest For Gimmesome Roy) Plastic Polly In A Porny Put A Little Bit On Me Put Another Log On The Fire Quaaludes Again Queen Of The Silver Dollar Raquel Welch Red-Neck Hippie Romance Rest Awhile Rings Of Grass Rock & Roll Hotel Roland The Roadie And Gertrude The Groupie Row, Row, Row Sahra Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garb... Sausalito Witch Scum Of The Earth Show It At The Beach Sing Me A Rainbow Sing Us Some Of The Old Songs Six Days Back At Home So Good To So Bad Somebody Stole My Rig Someone Ate The Baby (Dreadful) Stacy Brown Got Two Standing On The Outside Of Your Shelter Still Gonna Die Sweetest Of All Testing The Bomb That Plane The Avocado Tree The Ballad of Lucy Jordan The Clam The Danger Of A Stranger The Devil And Billy Markham The Diet The Diet Song The Giving Tree The Golden Kiss The Great Conch Train Robbery The Great Lakes Song The Lady With The Torch The Man Who Got No Sign The Man Who Turns The Damn Thing Off And On The Mermaid The Mermaid Of Ontario The Monkey And The Elephant The Peace Proposal The Perfect Wave The Radio The Slitheree-Dee The Smoke Off The Ugliest Man in Town The Unemployment Line The Winner The Wonderful Soup Stone They Held Me Down Thirteen Tons of Ice Cream This Guitar Is For Sale Three-Legged Man Thumbsucker Time Truck Driver, Truck Driver True Story True Story [#][*] Turn On The World Ugliest Man In Town Uncle Don Up On The Mountain Vanilla Vegas Vegematic Warm And Free What Have You Dont For Me Lately? When She Cries Whiplash Will Whistlers And Jugglers With His Mouth Full Of Food Yellow-Haired Woman Yes, Mr. Rodgers Yowzah!
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