The Great Conch Train Robbery
Shel Silverstein

'Twas sunset down in old Key West
The locals all were high.
The tourists snapped their photographs
And munched their Key Lime pie.
And meanwhile down at Sloppy Joe's
The drinks were standin' tall
With Buffett on the jukebox
And Hemingway on the wall.

Then up spoke Sam the Shrimper:
He said, I've been a shrimper all my life.
My daddy was a shrimper
And my mom's a shrimper's wife.
And I'm tired of bein' a shrimper
'cause a shrimper's life's too tame
So I'm gonna ride the Conch Train, boys,
And be like Jesse James.
Gonna be like Jesse James, boy...
Gonna be like Jesse James.
Case you didn't hear me the first three times...
Gonna be like Jesse James.

Now the Conch Train is a tourist toy
That rolls through Key West Town
Like some weird ride from Disneyland
It drives the tourists round and round
While the engineer on her P.A.
Points out all the sites
Well, Tennessee did you-know-what
To you-know-who that night.

The tourists all have money, said Sam
Their wives all have rings of gold.
Their mopeds all are pawnable.
Their cameras can be sold.
And think of all the glory, boys,
The money and the fame
To be the first and only man
To rob the Key West Train.

Now the engineer of the Conch Train
Her name was Betsy Wright.
She drove the Conch Train all day long
And loved Shrimper Sam all night.
And with some sweet persuasion,
She agreed to join the game:
She'd slow it down and flag the lad
And let him ride the train.

The conch train made its turn
Down the Smathers Pitch
When Shrimper Sam with a snorkle eye
Leaped naked from the sea.
His fillet knife was in his hand.
He jumped aboard the train.
Give up your bucks, you tourist schmucks.
I'm Key West Jesse James.
I'm Key West Jesse James, boy...
Key West Jesse James...
Case you didn't hear me the first three times...
I'm Key West Jesse James.

Now unbeknownst to Shrimper Sam
In the third car from the rear,
Sat Kelso Bolls from Muscle Shoals,
An American Legioneer.
He was a redneck of respect
And a marksman of reknown.
From under his fat
He drew a Gat,
And shot the shrimper down.

Now the first time that he shot poor Sam,
Sam groaned and clutched his side.
The second time that he shot poor Sam,
Sam fell to his knees and cried.
And the third time that he shot poor Sam,
You could see in both their eyes
Lash LaRue and Randolph Scott
Beneath the Western skies.

We laid poor Sam upon the sand
And we lifted up his head.
We listened close to hear the words
The dying shrimper said.
He said, Boys, you know I had my chance
But I went and botched the job,
But how can a boy named Jesse James
Without a train to rob?
Then Kelso Bolls took off his hat
And the tears streamed down his face.
He said, Son, I know just how you feel.
This world's a changin' place.
When history is written,
Uh... they won't recall our names,
But I only got to play Pat Garrett
'cause you played Jesse James.

We buried Sam in the southernmost sands
Close by the southernmost waves
Where sweet Betsy Wright
Cries tears every night
Onto his southernmost grave.
And on his tombstone say the words
Stick to your own game.
And if you are a shrimper,
Do not try to rob a train.


  Purchase "The Great Conch Train Robbery"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "The Great Conch Train Robbery" Video   Play Spotify "The Great Conch Train Robbery" Song   View Wikipedia "The Great Conch Train Robbery" Entry   Receive Emails for Future Shel Silverstein Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "The Great Conch Train Robbery"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You

Loading...

Lyrics by Shel Silverstein

  (Pour Me Another) Tequila Sheila   $100,000 in Pennies   25 Minutes To Go   A Couple More Years   A Front Row Seat To Hear Ole Johnny Sing   A Front Row Seat to Hear Ole Johnny Sing [*]   Acapulco Goldie   Alimoney (Also recorded as "Alimony")   All About You   All The Time In The World   Aphrodisiac   Back Home In Huntsville Again   Beans Taste Fine   Better Not Ask Me   Beware Of Lovers   Bigtime   Blue Eyes   Boa Constrictor   Bottomless Well   Boy Named Sue   Bread Upon The Waters   Bury Me In My Shades   Carry Me, Carrie   Centaur   Changing of the Seasons   Civil War Song   Cloudy Sky   Cornflakes With Sugar And Teardrops   Cover Of The Rolling Stone   Daddy, What If?   Dance To It   Date In Dallas   Daylight Dreamer   Diet Song   Dirty Feet   Drain My Brain   Drop The Bomb   Drunk And Crazy   Everybody Got Some But Me (Rauncy Playboy Version)   Everybody Got Some But Me (Tame Recorded Version)   Father Of A Boy Named Sue   February Snow   First Battalion   Floobie Doobie Doo   Food Blues   Get Away   Get My Rocks Off   Go Back, Learn To Use That Thing   Goodnight Little House Plant   Goodnight, Little Houseplant   Gotta Get Rid Of This Band   Greasy Grit Gravy   Grizzly Bear   Hamlet As Told On The Street   Handy Man   Have Another Espresso   Help Me, Mama   Hey Nelly Nelly!   Hey, Lady Godiva   Hoodoo Voodoo Lady   I Call That True Love   I Gave Her Comfort   I Got Stoned and I Missed It   I Hear America Singing   I Never Got To Know Her   I Once Knew A Woman   In The Hills of Shiloh   Inside A Lion   It Does Not Pay To Be Hip   Jaded   Jennifer Johnson and Me   Judy   June 25th At The 4th Of July   Jungle To The Zoo   Just Came Down For The Weekend   Kick It Again   Killed By A Coconut   Kiss It Away   Liberated Lady 1999   Little Green Buttons   Living Legend   Liz   Lullabys, Legends And Lies   Marie Laveaux   Masochistic Baby   Me And Jimmie Rodgers   Mermaid   Michaelangelo   Midnight Sunshine   Modern Talk   Monterey Jack   More Like The Movies   Mountain Mary   My Next Impersonation   Never Be This Young Again   Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh   Numbers   Oh, You Engineer   On The Way To The Bottom   Paranoid   Pathetic Way Of Getting Over Me   Paul   Peanut Butter Sandwich   Peanut-Butter Sandwich   Penicillin Penny   Perfect High (Or The Quest For Gimmesome Roy)   Plastic   Polly In A Porny   Put A Little Bit On Me   Put Another Log On The Fire   Quaaludes Again   Queen Of The Silver Dollar   Raquel Welch   Red-Neck Hippie Romance   Rest Awhile   Rings Of Grass   Rock & Roll Hotel   Roland The Roadie And Gertrude The Groupie   Row, Row, Row   Sahra Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garb...   Sausalito Witch   Scum Of The Earth   Show It At The Beach   Sing Me A Rainbow   Sing Us Some Of The Old Songs   Six Days Back At Home   So Good To So Bad   Somebody Stole My Rig   Someone Ate The Baby (Dreadful)   Stacy Brown Got Two   Standing On The Outside Of Your Shelter   Still Gonna Die   Sweetest Of All   Testing The Bomb   That Plane   The Avocado Tree   The Ballad of Lucy Jordan   The Clam   The Danger Of A Stranger   The Devil And Billy Markham   The Diet   The Diet Song   The Father Of The Boy Named Sue   The Giving Tree   The Golden Kiss   The Great Lakes Song   The Lady With The Torch   The Man Who Got No Sign   The Man Who Turns The Damn Thing Off And On   The Mermaid   The Mermaid Of Ontario   The Monkey And The Elephant   The Peace Proposal   The Perfect Wave   The Radio   The Slitheree-Dee   The Smoke Off   The Ugliest Man in Town   The Unemployment Line   The Winner   The Wonderful Soup Stone   They Held Me Down   Thirteen Tons of Ice Cream   This Guitar Is For Sale   Three-Legged Man   Thumbsucker   Time   Truck Driver, Truck Driver   True Story   True Story [#][*]   Turn On The World   Ugliest Man In Town   Uncle Don   Up On The Mountain   Vanilla   Vegas   Vegematic   Warm And Free   What Have You Dont For Me Lately?   When She Cries   Whiplash Will   Whistlers And Jugglers   With His Mouth Full Of Food   Yellow-Haired Woman   Yes, Mr. Rodgers   Yowzah!

Related Songs

  Train Robbery - Kool G. Rap & DJ Polo  Train Robbery - Kool G. Rap & DJ Polo  You're Not An Astronaut - The Most Serene Republic  Key's In The Conch Shell - Kenny Chesney  Key's In The Conch Shell - Kenny Chesney  Coal-Train Robberies - Elvis Costello  The Great Brain Robbery - Skyclad  Toot, Toot, Tootsie, Goodbye - Great Stage Robbery  Toot, Toot Tootsie - Great Stage Robbery  A Train Robbery - Levon Helm  Desert Island [*] - XTC  Desert Island - Xtc  Don't Want to Be a Conch - Barefoot Man  Coal Train Robberies - Elvis Costello  Eyes Wide Open - Over The Rhine  Blue Water Line - The Brothers Four  A Promise To Distinction - Swingin' Utters  A Promise To Distinction - Swingin Utters  The Great Red Cross Robbery - The Flaming Tsunamis  Fuckings Greatest Hits - Blood Brothers  Fuckings Greatest Hits - The Blood Brothers  Robbery - Biffy Clyro  Robbery - Da Nappy Headz  Lets Plan A Robbery - Three 6 Mafia  Let's Plan A Robbery - Three 6 Mafia  Oysters & Conch - Beenie Man  Oysters Conch - Beenie Man  Great Spirit [Acoustic Mix][*] - Robert Plant  Great Spirit [Acoustic Mix] - Robert Plant  Great Spirit - Robert Plant  The Robbery - Ready Set  The Robbery - Les Miserables  The Robbery - The Blood Brothers  The Robbery - Oliver  Robbery - Teena Marie  Ghost Train - Elvis Costello  Robbery - Necro  San Francisco - Ben Gibbard & Jay Farrar  Stick-Up - Honey Cone  Stick Up - Honey Cone  Stick-up - The Honey Cone  Robbery - Redtrack  Robbery - Queen  Robbery - The Horde and the Harem  Robbery - Guilty Simpson  Robbery - Vybz Kartel  ROBBERY - 2 Pistols  Robbery - Raekwon  Robbery - Killah Priest  Robbery - Master P  Robbery - Nick Cave  Robbery - Drive A  Robbery - Claude Kelly  Hospital - Dead Infection  Idol of the Sun - Aeternam  Hula Girls - Tiffany Hulse  Shanti/Ashtangi - Madonna  This Train - The Staple Singers  Version City - Clash  Jiggery Pokery - The Duckworth Lewis Method  Highway Robbery - Tanya Tucker  Story of The Impossible - Peter Von Poehl  No Robbery - Vybz Kartel  Love Robbery - Kalin And Myles  Love Robber - Kalin and Myles  Glasgow Central - Billy Connolly  Glasgow Central (Live) - Billy Connolly  Version City - The Clash  Steam Train - Baby Bird  Oysters & Conch - Beenie Man  8 - Ball - Underworld  Daylight robbery - Morcheeba  Freight Train - Taj Mahal  Penny On The Train Track - Ben Kweller  Sleeping Monkey - Phish  Great Rain - John Prine  The Robbery Song - Akinyele  No Brass Band - Jeannie C. Riley  Train Overnight - Tragically Hip  This Train Keeps Rolling Along...  This Train Keeps Rolling Along...  Leaf Skeleton - Bloc Party  Reacharounds And Happy Endings - Target Nevada  Spirit Train - Guadalcanal Diary  Across The River - Victorian Dad  Taking Dust from Stars - Sara Haze  Waiting (For Too Long) - States  Strangled Planets - Daddy's Hands  Raised On Robbery [Multimedia Track]...  Raised on Robbery - Joni Mitchell  Avalon Blues - Mississippi John Hurt  Avalon, My Home Town - Bruce Cockburn  Wolf Larsen - Wolf Larsen  Untitled - Connie-Kim  The Getaway (Lonesome Train) - Ray Davies  A Great Man - Luke Lalonde  Glory - Hillsong Music Australia  The Train - Mary-Kate And Ashley Olsen  Island Boy - Baha Men  If Only - Fink  Freedom Train, The (1947) - Berlin Irving  Robbery, Assault & Battery - Genesis  Robbery, Assault & Battery - Genesis  Stationary Robbery...  Armed Robbery - 8Ball & MJG  Highway Robbery - GZA  Daylight Robbery - Imogen Heap  Highway Robbery - Handguns  Sweet Robbery - Gangsta Boo  LA Robbery - Wally Boy Wonder  Robbery Suspect - Conejo  Aggravated Robbery - Project Pat  Daylight Robbery - Alexandra Burke  Stationary Robbery - Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker  Robbery [Remix] - Killah Priest  Highway Robbery - The Genius  Armed Robbery - 8Ball & Mjg  Armed Robbery...  Armed Robbery - Eightball & MJG  Sweet Robbery - Three 6 Mafia  Armed Robbery - Eightball & MJG  Highway Robbery - Dillinger Escape Plan  Highway Robbery - The Genius Gza  Female Robbery - The Neighbourhood  Ace of Hearts - Zella Day  Sirens - Flight Brigade  J. C. Cohen - Allan Sherman  J C Cohen - Allan Sherman  J.C. Cohen - Allan Sherman  Glory - Hillsong United  Glory - Hillsong  An Honest Day’s Robbery feat. Has-Lo - J-Zone  Valentine - Bryan Ferry  The Black Box - Uniform Motion  KapKaç - Manga  Cb - Soundtrack Artists  Here Comes The Freedom - Merle Haggard  Decatur - Sufjan Stevens  Decatur, Or, Round Of Applause For Your Stepmother...  Decatur, or Round of Applause for Your Stepmother!...  Dallas in Romania - Mischief Brew  Sui Sui - Puffy Amiyumi  Hobo Blues - The Lonesome River Band  The Great Divide - Joe Cocker  Northern Frontier - Tom Cochrane  The Great Divide - Cocker Joe  Heist - Ben Folds  The Boy Who Cried Wolf - Lovers  Forgiveness & Love - Me'Shell Ndeg\u00e9ocello  Train Kept A Rollin' - Iron Boss  Saramona Said - Violent Soho  Party At The Liquor Store - ABK  Here Comes the Freedom Train - Merle Haggard  Gasoline - Brand New  Gypsy - Blues Pills  Between the Lines - Rage  Scofield Mine Disaster - Perfect Strangers  She Caught The Katy - Blues Brothers, The  Farmer-Labor Train - Woody Guthrie  The Farmer-Labor Train - Woody Guthrie  She Caught The Katy And Left Me A Mule To Ride...  She Caught The Katy And Left Me A Mule To Ride...  She caught the katy - The Blues Brothers  She Caught The Katy - Blues Brothers  Boxcar - Neil Young  Redemption Day - Johnny Cash  Redemption Day - Sheryl Crow  Talk That - Bow Wow  Last Train - Holy Soldier  Walk the Line - The Love Scene  Gladstone - Charles David Sharp  I'm On My Way - Kitty Wells  A Secret Place - Yann Tiersen  Standing Still While Greatness Passes Me...  Bloody Blue - Therapy?  Top of Rock Bottom - We Should Whisper!  She Caught The Katy - Blues Traveler  The Snake and the Crown - Raine Maida  Santa Claus Is Comin' - Christmas Song  Wabash Cannonball - Dolly Parton  Wabash Cannon Ball - Dolly Parton  Falling Home - Jude Cole  Sleeper Train - America  T For Texas - Johnny Cash  The Train! - M.H. & His Orchestra  T Is For Texas - Johnny Cash  Miserlou - Dick Dale  50 Cycles - Squarepusher  Bimini Twist - Tiffany Hulse  The Almighty Kings (The A.K.’s) - C-Rayz Walz   Manzanillo Bay - Arlo Guthrie  Magneto And Titanium Man - Wings  Magneto And Titanium Man - Paul McCartney  Magneto And Titanium Man - Paul McCartney & Wings  Magneto & Titanium Man - Paul McCartney  The Letter - Boxtops  Grubbery - Stolen Babies  Bloodlines - Lizzo  Party At The Liquor Store - Anybody Killa  Party At The Liquor Store (Featuring Colton Grundy...