I call you from my car to say I'll be there in awhile
A short plan ride and I will get to see your pretty smile.
There's nothing on the radio; I'd fiddled the dial
Then I see a sign: the airport is just another mile
I check my bags and think about how much I hate to fly,
And as I near security I almost start to cry.
Well I hope the law enforcement agent's can't tell from my face,
I got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air,
'Cuz with four balloons of heroin, it's getting crowded up in there.
Crowded up in there.
My mind is all a-jumble and my blood is cold as ice.
I dread the thought of having to unload this merchandise.
Relax, I say, it's not so bad; it might be kinda nice,
Besides who hasn't had a finger up there once or twice.
I must remember don't leave any drugs inside the host;
I did that once and a girl who tossed my salad overdosed.
Well I say a little prayer Hail Maria Full Of Grace,
I've got three balloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.
I'm sweating and I'm nervous and I need a little air,
And i swear i'm farting lines of blow into my underwear.
Ooh, from my derriere.
I was a little eager when I loaded up my stash
Five balloons of ecstacy, six balloons of hash,
Eight balloons of LSD, nine of sexy mild,
A box of Chinese fireworks, a Guatemalan child.
I made it to the gate and now my joy I can't contain.
I board the aircraft, take my seat in the cockpit of the plane-
As I taxi down the runway I get a smile on my face,
And I've got three baloons of coke in an uncomfortable place.
Flight crew, prepare for takeoff, as I lift us the air,
And by the way does anyone want to buy a Guatemalan child.
Oh, from my derriere.
I got Three balloons...
I got Three balloons...
I got Three balloons...
Three Balloons
Stephen Lynch
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Lyrics by Stephen Lynch
3 Balloons A Month Dead Albino Baby Ballad of Scarface Beelz Bitch Bowling Song Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowli... Classic Rock Song Country Love Song Craig D And D D&D (2005 Bonus Version) Down To The Old Pub Instead Dr. Stephen Drink You Pretty Fishin' Hole For Me For The Ladies Gerbil Grandfather Hair Half A Man Halloween Hermaphrodite Hey Love History Lesson If I Were Gay In Defense Of A Peepshow Girl Kill A Kitten Let Me Inside Lion Little Asian Man Little Tiny Moustache Love Song Lullaby (the Divorce Song) Medieval Bush Mixer at Delta Chi No Meat Not Home Pierre Priest R.D.C. (Opie's Lament) She Gotta Smile So This Is Outer Space? Special Special Fred Special Olympics Superhero Talk To Me Tall Glass O' Water Tattoo Taxi Driver Tennessee Vanilla Ice Cream Voices in My Head Walken III What If That Guy From Smashing Pumpkins Lost His C... Whittlin' Man You (Prettier Than) You Caught Me Spankin It
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