[Narration]
“Howdy, folks. This next song is a story of a gal who
Just
Couldn’t choose between to fellers. One was about the
Nicest
Guy you ever met, and the other one, well, he’s kind of
A
Dick. Let’s listen in as these boys settle it the only
Way
They know how; through singing. And a 1, and a 2… “
Make a choice – will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?
I would comfort you when you’re sad
Well, I would just leave you crying
I would protect you if a lion attacked you
Not trying to fuck with no lion
I would fight a man for your honor
I don’t know no kung fu
I’d carry you across a muddy field
Bitch, these Jordans are new
Make a choice – will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?
I would read you romantic poetry
I’ll leave that shit on the shelf
My love making would be sweet and tender
This thing ain’t sucking itself, no
I would take you to the finest restaurants
Here’s an old Baby Ruth
I would tell you how pretty you look tonight
And I would tell you the truth
Make a choice – will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?
But ba-by, baby
The choice is up to you
So pick me quickly
‘Cause I’ve got shit to do
It’s true dear, I do dear
I want you to be mine
But let’s be clear here
I’m still not fighting no lion…
[Narration]:
“Let’s see what happens next…
Every day I’d say how much I love you
… I would not
I’d surprise you with gifts and flowers
I’d spend your money on pot, yeah
We would stay up all night just talking
I’d fall asleep when I came
I’d spell your name out with a thousand rose petals
I don’t remember your name!
Make a choice – will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?
Make a choice – will it be
A guy who really, really loves you baby, baby
Or a guy like me?
[Narration]:
“See? I told you he was kind of a dick.”
Lion
Stephen Lynch
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Lyrics by Stephen Lynch
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