Ever since first man has walked this earth I have been here
to whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear
I am the beast, the outcast angel fallen from on high
I go by many names, but there is one you can't deny--
My name is Satan!
Hi everybody! Let me tell you a little bit about myself!
My friends all call me Old Scratch and I am a Capricorn
My turn-ons are romantic walks and killing the unborn
I've got little devil horns and a little goatee
Little devil eyes to help a little devil see
and little cloven hooves that make it kind of hard to ski
I'm Satan!
My real name is Beelzebub, but you can call me Beelz
I love to watch Fox News and then go club some baby seals
Then I'll take a bubble bath and drink a zinfadel
Try to wash off that baby seal smell
And then I'll make a toast to me--hey, here's to my health!
My name is Satan!
To carry on my evil ways I went and had a son
And now he makes his living as a singing comedian
I'm in every Zeppelin album; I'm in all Rush Limbaugh's rants
I'm the reason that the Boston Red Sox even had a chance
And if I wanna eat your soul I'll just throw it on the griddle
I don't need to make a deal, I don't need to tell a riddle
And fuck Charlie Daniels, I don't care if he can fiddle
I'm Satan!
Devil went down to Georgia; he was looking for a soul to steal...
Which is fucking bullshit because I would not be caught dead in Georgia...
666
Beelz
Stephen Lynch
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Lyrics by Stephen Lynch
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