You watch me on your TV, say that my job is easy.
Say I am not athletic, you think my sport's pathetic.
But you can't judge me 'til you've walked a mile
in my bowling shoes...
So I don't get all the ladies, got a mullet from the 80's.
I'm known throughout the valleys as the prophet of alleys...
And as I roll the ball I cry, Let me bowl or let me die!
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god.
The smell of rosin gets my high, kiss those fuckin' pins goodbye!
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling... bowling... god.
Got a ball that's smooth and all black,
I keep it in my favorite ball sack.
I get a feeling in my soul as I finger every hole...
And as I roll the ball I cry, Let me bowl or let me die!
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god.
The smell of rosin gets my high,
kiss those motherfuckin' pins goodbye!
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling... bowling...
Not a single man will try to beat Almighty Malachi.
All who challenge me are slain; come on fuckers, pick a lane.
Marshall Holman and Gary Dickens, get in line for your ass kickins'.
John Petraglia and Norm Duke; you're so lame, it makes me puke.
Who amongst the pro-bowl sector dares to don his wrist protector?
Not that pussy Nelson Burton, tells me that his wrist is hurtin'.
Hey Mark Roth, hey Earl the Pearl,
are ya' scared to give the ball a hurl?
How bout' Dickey Webber and his son Pete;
I'll turn the motherfuckas to Cream of Wheat!
And as I roll the ball I cry, Let me bowl or let me die!
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god.
The smell of rosin gets my high, kiss those fuckin' pins goodbye!
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling... bowling god!
Yeah, the bowling god...
Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowling God)
Stephen Lynch
Purchase "Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowling God)"
Purchase Entire Album
Email Video to Friends Play Youtube "Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowling God)" Video
Play Spotify "Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowling God)" Song
View Wikipedia "Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowling God)"
Entry
Receive Emails for Future Stephen Lynch Lyrics
Link to "Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowling God)"
Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
See Recommended Lyrics For You
Share:
Copied!
Loading...
Lyrics by Stephen Lynch
3 Balloons A Month Dead Albino Baby Ballad of Scarface Beelz Bitch Bowling Song Classic Rock Song Country Love Song Craig D And D D&D (2005 Bonus Version) Down To The Old Pub Instead Dr. Stephen Drink You Pretty Fishin' Hole For Me For The Ladies Gerbil Grandfather Hair Half A Man Halloween Hermaphrodite Hey Love History Lesson If I Were Gay In Defense Of A Peepshow Girl Kill A Kitten Let Me Inside Lion Little Asian Man Little Tiny Moustache Love Song Lullaby (the Divorce Song) Medieval Bush Mixer at Delta Chi No Meat Not Home Pierre Priest R.D.C. (Opie's Lament) She Gotta Smile So This Is Outer Space? Special Special Fred Special Olympics Superhero Talk To Me Tall Glass O' Water Tattoo Taxi Driver Tennessee Three Balloons Vanilla Ice Cream Voices in My Head Walken III What If That Guy From Smashing Pumpkins Lost His C... Whittlin' Man You (Prettier Than) You Caught Me Spankin It
Related Songs
Let's Go Bowling - Arrogant Worms
Let's Go Bowling - Arrogant Worms, The
Let's Go Bowling - Arrogant Worms
At The Alley - Batfoot!
Bowling Barmy - Toy Dolls
Bowling Green [*] - The Everly Brothers
Bowling Green - The Everly Brothers
Bowling Green - Everly Brothers
Take the Skinheads Bowling...
Good Old Bowling Green - The Weavers
Bowling Green - Glen Campbell
Blackout - School Of Fish
Bowling Green - Railroad Earth
Take the Skinheads Bowling - Camper Van Beethoven
Blood Brothers - Eve 6
Leak-a-Mixtape - Tinie Tempah
Bowling - Autokat
Bowling - A Wilhelm Scream
Ice Cream Meltin' Mellow (Marin Mix 1)...
People Who Read People Magazine - Kinky Friedman
Bowling Ball - Superchick
Bowling Ball - Superchic(k)
Bowling Baby [#] - Carrie Newcomer
Wisdom Lost - O.L.D
Spade & Parade - Sunny Day Real Estate
Wisdom Lost - O.L.D.
Red Bowling Ball Ruth - White Stripes
Red Bowling Ball Ruth - The White Stripes
Ernie Takes A Bath - Sesame Street
Miss Marlene - Donald Fagen
Bowling Shoes - Fountains Of Wayne
I Need That - Nipsey Hussle
Bowling Green Fight Song - Bowling Green
Bowling for Slaughters - Buckethead
Bowling With Godzilla - Casey Redmond
I Know This Bar - Ani Difranco
Long Gone from Bowling Green - Eartha Kitt
Inu (bowling) - Anathallo
Bowling Alley - Lemon Demon
Bowling Green - Neko Case
Bowling Balls - Insane Clown Posse
Bowling Green - Sarah Brightman
Bowling Balls - ICP (Insane Clown Posse)
Bowling Green - Sam Bush
Bowling Trophy Wife - Rodney Carrington
No Anchovies Please - J Geils Band
Ordinary Average Guy - Joe Walsh
Rolling Balls - A.F.I. (AFI)
Alex Kona - Strand Of Oaks
Dahcy Had A Little Lamb - Dahcy Boike
Show Girl - The Auteurs
Bowling With Bedrock Barney - Dickies
The Braes Of Elchies / Miss Anderson / The New Yor...
No Anchovies Please - J. Geils Band
Generic Blues - Weird Al Yankovic
Shine Shine Shine - Mel Tillis
Show Girl - Auteurs, The
Cast A Net - Akron/Family
Kukuxumushu - Electric Six
Kukuxumusu - Electric Six
Rolling Balls - A.F.I.
Rolling Balls [vinyl Only] - A.F.I.
Rolling Balls - AFI
Rolling Balls - AFI
Her Freezings And Thawings - Dirty Projectors
Her Freezing And Thawings - Dirty Projectors
Bowling Alley Bar - The Handsome Family
Show Girl - Auteurs
Bluegrass Express - Rhonda Vincent
Not In Luv - Quarterbacks
Everywhere - IAMSU! X P-LO
Broken Youth - NICO Touches The Walls
She Misses Him On Sunday The Most - Diamond Rio
Rotation - Big K.R.I.T.
Hand Springs - White Stripes
Hand Springs - Various Artists
Hand Springs - The White Stripes
High - Blue Nile
Feels Good Being Somebody - Dios Malos
My Girl's Got Miraculous Techniques...
Holy, Holy - Kathy Troccoli
Dahcy Goes Bowling - Dahcy Boike
The Bowling Pin - Djerv
Bowling Green [MP3] - Neko Case
Let's Go Bowling - Camera Obscura
Let's Go Bowling - Lambchop
(My Girl's Got) Miraculous Technique...
My Girl's Got Miraculous Technique...
(My Girl's Got) Miraculous Techniques...
Guns Under the Counter - The Fiery Furnaces
Big box - Talisker
"Holy, Holy" - Kathy Troccoli
Cast Iron Arm - Roy Orbison
Cast Iron Arm - Shakin' Stevens
Come on Youth - Slow Club
Happiness Is a Worn Pun [*] - Super Furry Animals
Happiness is a Worn Pun - Super Furry Animals
Lesion - Palomar
The Day Farrah Fawcett Died - The Vandals
Bluegrass Express - Osborne Brothers
Rolling Balls - A.F.I
The Match - Joey Tempest
Suburbia - The Wonder Years
Holy, Holy, Holy - Hillsong United
Beat Box - Ludacris
August - Clinic
Hey Groupie - Hurriganes
Pottymouth - Danielson Famile
Holy, Holy, Holy - Kurt Carr Singers
Holy, Holy, Holy [Live] - Kurt Carr
Holy, Holy, Holy - Hillsong
Will You Be My Girlfriend? - The Atoms
Dumbledore - Harry and the Potters
Hickory Hollow Times & County News...
Big Lips - Leon Russell
Hickory Hollow Times & County News - Charley Pride
Wanda the Worm Woman - The Residents
Blue Grass Morning - David Allen Coe
Entrails - Sounds Like Chicken
Wanda - The Worm Woman - Residents
It's Lenny's Fault - Veggie Tales
Victoria - Nomeansno
It's Lenny's Fault - Veggie Tales
The Box - King Missile
Be Unto Your Name - Tony Melendez
The Performer - Gwar
Carney Man - Cross Canadian Ragweed
Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God Almighty - Bing Crosby
Holy, Holy, Holy - Audrey Assad
The Whole World Is Our Playground - Peter Doherty
Holy, Holy, Holy - Jim Nabors
Holy, Holy, Holy - Jim Nabors
Holy, Holy, Holy - Mahalia Jackson
Holy, Holy, Holy - Steven Curtis Chapman
Holy, Holy, Holy - Keith Green
Holy, Holy, Holy - Ronnie Milsap
Holy, Holy, Holy - Keith Green
Holy Holy Holy - Ronnie Milsap
Wanda -- The Worm Woman - The Residents
Eneby Kurs - Subtle
First Flight to the Moon - Egghead
Blue Grass Morning - David Allan Coe
Kahit Ano - Eraserheads
No Refrain - Beth Hirsch
1985 - Bowling For Soup - Various Artists
Hell's Pit- Bowling Balls - Insane Clown Posse
Holy- Holy- Holy (Interlude) - 4Him
Holy - Avalon
Almighty - Various Artists
Don't Wait Up - The Happy Bullets
Uniform - Jethro Tull
Chiquita Chaser - Millencolin
Oh, What A Fabulous Party - Sesame Street
Holy, Holy, Holy - Kristina
Good God Almighty - Colt Ford
Tuvalu Anthem Text - National Anthem
Revelation Song - Kirk Franklin
Revelation Song - Phillips, Craig & Dean
Holy, Holy, Holy - Sufjan Stevens
Wolfpack [Take 2] - Syd Barrett
This One Is On Me - Betwixt
Wolfpack [Take 2] [Take] - Syd Barrett
Soldier\'s Things - Tom Waits
Soldier's Things - Tom Waits
Angels Of The Bowling Green - Augie March
Wolfpack - Pink Floyd
It's Christmas Time(oh Yeah) - Barenaked Ladies
Wolfpack - Syd Barrett
Sing Hallelujah (Live) - Bob Fitts
Holy, Holy, Holy - Acappella
Holy Holy Holy - Acappella
Holy, Holy, Holy - Michael W. Smith
Holy Holy - Michael W. Smith
Agnus Dei - Various Artists
Holy, Holy, Holy! Lord God Almighty - Bing Crosby
Holy, Holy, Holy...
Crucify - Amerie
Your Socks Have No Name - Tripping Daisy
Christmastime (Oh Yeah) - Barenaked Ladies
It's Christmas Time (Oh Yeah) - Barenaked Ladies
Wolfpack - Barrett Syd
Holy, Holy, Holy, - Crystal Lewis
Holy, Holy, Holy - Religious Music
God Almighty - Chris Tomlin
Holy, Holy, Holy - Newsboys
Almighty God - Rebecca St. James
Almighty God - Tim Hughes
Almighty God - Brooke Fraser
Holy, Holy, Holy! Lord God Almighty - Paul Baloche
Revelation Song - Kari Jobe
Fearless Boogie - Hank Williams Sr.
It Is You (Live) - Various Artists
Undead Anthem - Unkle Stiltskin
This Is Easy - Marshall Crenshaw
Soldier's Things - Waits Tom
I Want To Be Your Friend - Sesame Street
51 Pieces - Cross Canadian Ragweed
In Hole - Dover
She's My Baby - Traveling Wilburys
It Is You (Live) - Newsboys
