All you people up there in City Hall,
You're fuckin' it up for the people that's in the streets.
This is a song for the people in the streets,
Not the people City Hall.
All you motherfuckers in the streets it's time to rise up,
Come along children and fuckin' rise!
Lots of times when me and KG are watchin'
All the fuckin' shit that goes down at City Hall,
We get the feeling we should fuck shit up,
Yeah we should fuckin' start a riot.
A Riot!
We have 'em screaming in the streets,
we have 'em tippin' over shit and breakin' fuckin' windows of small businesses,
and settin' fuckin' fires!
and settin' fuckin' fires!
and settin' fuckin' fires!
[spoken]
And then after the smoke is cleared,
and the rubble has been swept away,
me and KG will peek out our heads.
We've been watching the riots on a monitor twenty floors below sea level,
from a bunker.
We did it Rage-Kage, we beat the bastards of City Hall!
[laughs] But now what will we do?
We must rebuild. But who will lead us in the rebuilding process?
Man, it's got to be someone with the know-how
and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land.
No, not me and KG, we don't have the cognitive capacity to lead...
Alright, we'll do it!
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
The first decree is to legalize marijuana.
The tyranny and the bullshit's gone on too long.
You old fuckin' shrivs who blocked it's legalization,
you're banished from the land!
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa (Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings)
Ah-ha ah-how,
Lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
The second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust,
or ocean dumpage. From now on, we will travel in tubes!
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings, oh, yeah,
We'll fuckin' lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
(Tube technology.) Chop, chop, let's go.
[spoken]
Third decree: no more... rich people: and poor people.
From now on, we will all be the same... ummm, I dunno,
I gotta think about that...
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings
Ah yeah, ah yeahhhahahaha.
Ha-ha-ho-hee, ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho-ho.
[spoken]
[JB:] Oh my God.
[KG:] Ahh... What?
[JB:] Dude, the red phone is flashing.
[KG:] Oh, yeah.
[JB:] Let me scoop that up. Hello? Two Kings.
[KG:] Who is it?
[JB:] What?! No! No fucking way!
[KG:] What?
[JB:] Rage, there's a potato famine in Idaho, you gotta go down there!
[KG:] Oh my God... what?
[JB:] Dude, I gotta stay here!
[KG:] Why do I have to go?
[JB:] Please! Please!
[KG:] Oh, God, okay.
[JB:] Awesome... is he gone? Alright, emergency meeting of Parliament.
All right Parliament, I know this is fucked up,
but Rage, he can't be King anymore.
Dudes, he's encroaching on my decrees!
Seriously, let's make him Duke, a kick ass Duke.
Or leader formerly known as King, but-- uh-oh he's comin' back...
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings, oh yes
we'll really lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
[KG:] Uh, dude?
[JB:] Rage.
[KG:] I went all over Idaho...
[JB:] Yeah?
[KG:] Uh, plenty of potatoes everywhere.
[JB:] What? There was no famine?
[KG:] Yeah, there was no famine, no.
[JB:] Dude.
[KG:] I don't know what's uh...
[JB:] A toast...
[KG:] A toast...
[JB:] Long live the D.
[KG:] Long live the D.
[clinking of glasses]
[JB:] Long live me. I'm sorry, I poisoned your wine.
[KG:] What?
[JB:] For the good of the land.
[KG:] You p-- I poisoned yours... huh heh, as well.
[JB/KG:] Noooooooooo!!!!!
No!
[sung]
City, city, city, city, city, city, shitty.
Shitty, city, shitty, shitty, city, city, shitty.
Hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall.
People inside me are askin' me to smoke up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is talkin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is rockin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em GO! OH!
[spoken]
[JB:] Don't, cut that part out.
[KG:] We've got it.
[JB:] Um, do you believe in God?
[KG:] I believe, I believe.
[JB:] You do?
[KG:] I believe in God. I believe in God.
[JB: (laughs)] why'do--
[KG:] I believe in God.
[JB:] Do you?
[KG:] I believe in God.
Malibu Nights
[KG (spoken):]
Yeah, but you didn't fuckin' come out with this (one)--! [cuts off on one]
[KG starts playing]
[JB (spoken):] I got some lyrics.
[sung]
Malibu nights, tangerine dreams,
Malibu neighs, Malibu dreams,
Malibu, makin' a poo.
Stinky poo, lookin'd view.
Because it's time for my breakfast,
It's time for some cheese.
It's time for the stink,
time for the breeze,
time for the... hah-or-eeee!
City Hall
Tenacious D
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Lyrics by Tenacious D
39 5 Needs Baby Ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Kage Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown) Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown) [Blue Ray] Bowie Break In-City (Storm the Gate!) Break-In City (Storm the Gate!) Car Chase City Chop Suey Classical Teacher Classical Teacher (Skit) Classico Cock Pushups Cock Pushups (Skit) Cosmic Shame Dear Penis Destiny Deth Starr Dio Dio [Blue Ray] Door to Door Rocking Double Team Double Team [Blue Ray] Drive-Thru Dude (I Totally Miss You) Dude (I Totally Miss You) [Blue Ray] Explosivo F*ck Her Gently Flash Flutes and Trombones Flutes and Trombones (Skit) Friendship Friendship [Blue Ray] Friendship Test Friendship Test (Skit) Fuck Her Gently Hard Fucking History History - Closing Credits Version History - Jesus Ranch Version History - SNL Version History [Blue Ray] Human Hopes I'm The Only Gay Eskimo Inward Singing Inward Singing (Skit) Jack Black Let's Get It On Jesus Ranch Karate Karate [Blue Ray] Karate Schnitzel Karate Schnitzel (Skit) Kickapoo Kickapoo (SNL Version) Kickapoo [Blue Ray] Kielbasa Kielbasa [Blue Ray] Kong Krishna Kyle Took A Bullet Kyle Took A Bullet For Me Lee Lee [Blue Ray] Let's Get It On Low Hangin' Fruit Low Hangin' Fruit Malibu Nights (Secret Track) Marching Of The Hordes Marijuanaville Master Exploder Master Exploder [Blue Ray] My Biznitch is the Shiznit Now were back together One Note Song Papagenu (He's My Sassafrass) Pat Riley Pick of Destiny POD Primitive Dance Quantum Leap Rivers of Brown Rize of the Fenix Roadie Rock Is Dead Rock Your Socks Rock Your Socks (acoustic version) Rock Your Socks Off Sasquatch School Of Rock Se\u00f1orita Sex With Me And KG Special Things Spelling Bee Spiderman Taco Truck From Hell Tenacious D time The Ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Kage The Divide The Government Totally Sucks The History Of Tenacious D The Last In Line The Metal The Metal [Blue Ray] The Road The Road [Blue Ray] They Fucked Our Asses Things I Want Throwdown To Be The Best Training Medley Training Medley (Bonus Track) Tribute Tribute [Blue Ray] Tribute [Channel V Performance] Tribute [Music Video] Tribute To The Best Song In The World Warning Wonderboy Wonderboy [Music Video]
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