Seven O'Clock in the evening
Watchin somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me
She says Is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynard Skynard?
And I say I don't know.
Say, it's gettin' late...watcha wanna do for dinner?
She says I kinda had a big lunch.
So I'm not super hungry.
I said Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
But I could eat.
She said So whadya have in mind?
I said I don't know what about you?
She said I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat.
I said That's what we're gonna do!
But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!
And she says Let me think...
...What's left in our refridgerator?
I said Well, there's tuna, I know.
She said That went bad a week ago!
I said Is the chili OK?
She said You finished that yesterday!
I hopped up and I said
I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?
She's like Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!
I'm like No, I said 'delivered'.
She's like I heard you say liver!
I'm like I should know what I said...
She's like Whatever, I just don't want any liver!
Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID
It was just cousin Larry
Callin' for the third time today...
My wife said Let it go to voicemail.
I said, OK.
Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
So what d'ya want to do?
She said Why don't you whip up somethin in the kitchen?
Yeah, I said, Why don't you?
And then she said Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?
I says No
She says Yes
I says No
She says Yes
I says No
She says Yes...
...Oh, here's your keys
I step a little bit closer
Say OK, where ya want to go?
She says How about The Ivy?
I said Yeah, well I don't know...
I don't feel like gettin all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food
She's says Olive Garden?
I say Nah, I'm not in the mood...
...And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt
She says Just forget about it
I said No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!
Then I get an idea
I says I know what we'll do!
She says What?
I say Guess
She says What?
I say We're goin' to the drive-thru!
So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors
And we get in those car doors
Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway
Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru!
Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?
Well here we are
In the drive-thru line, me and her.
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us.
All just waiting to order
There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?
My wife says Maybe we should park...
...We could just go eat inside.
I said I'm wearin' bunny slippers
So I ain't leavin' this ride...
Now a woman on a speaker box
Is sayin' Can I take your order, please?
I said Yes indeed, you certainly can
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese.
Then my wife says
Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time
I said You always get a cheeseburger!
She says That's not what I'm hungry for.
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
I don't know who you are anymore!
The voice on the speaker says
I don't have all day!
I said Then, take our order,
And we'll be on our way!
I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger, too
She's like You want onions on that?
I'm like Yeah, I already said that I do...
...Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it!
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it.
Then I said I'm guessin' that
You're probably not too bright...
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right.
She says One, you want a chicken sandwich.
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries, and a large root beer
Stop, don't go no further!
I never ordered a large rootbeer
I said medium, not large!
Then she says We're havin' a special,
I supersized you at no charge.
Oh. And that's all
I could say, was Oh.
And she says Now there is somethin' else
That I really think you should know.
You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more...
I say Great, except we're in the drive thru...
So what would I want that for?
Then she says Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar...hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like No, that ain't Paul,
Now tell me, who's this Paul?
She says Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me.
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off him in Geometry.
I said I know a guy named Paul.
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer.
He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe.
And she said Mister, please, you can stop right there,
That's way more than I needed to know!
And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense
Then she says Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents.
So we inched ahead in line
Movin' painfully slow
I got a little bored
So I turned on the radio...
[Song plays]
[Click] Turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake.
Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said Um,
I think you have somethin' in your teeth.
She turned away from me
And then turned back and said Did I get it?
I said Yeah. Well, I mean, most of it...
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it.
Then she said How about now?
I said Yeah, almost.
There's still a little bit there
But don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast.
Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!
And the lady at the window's like,
Well, well that'll be five eighty two.
I turn around to my wife, and say
How much have you got on you?
She just rolls her eyes and says
I'll pay for this, I guess.
So she reaches into her purse
And pulls out the American Express
I hand it to the lady
And she says Oh, dear.
It's gotta be cash only
We don't take credit cards here.
I took back the card and said
Gee, really? Well that sucks.
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carryin' three bucks.
I said I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today
She says I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway?
And I said Nevermind,
Just help me to find some change...
Now the lady at the window
Is lookin at me kinda strange...
And she says Mister, please,
We gotta move this line along
I said Now hold your stinkin' horses lady,
We won't be long.
We looked around inside the glove-box
And check the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in the ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
You're still about a dollar short
And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, you know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place
And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said OK
Forget the chicken sandwich then
So I pick up my change
Pick up my reciept
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat
And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearin' a dorky nametag that says
Hello, my name is Eugene.
And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him Hey, Eugene,
Can I get some ketchup for my fries?
Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him
And he says I'm sorry
What did you want again?
I say Ketchup!
And he says Oh yeah, that's right...
...I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight.
And then he hands me the ketchup
And now we're finally drivin' away
And the food is drivin' me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet
I'm starvin' to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say Baby, gimme that burger,
I just gotta have a bite!
So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger
And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!
Trapped In The Drive-Thru
Weird Al Yankovic
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Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic
(This Song's Just) Six Words Long 1985 Food Medley - 01 - It's Moldy Now 1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor 1985 Food Medley - 03 - Steak Number 3 1985 Food Medley - 04 - Burger King 1985 Food Medley - 05 - Don't You Forget About Mea... 1985 Food Medley - 06 - Girls Just Want To Have Lu... 1985 Food Medley - 07 - The Rye And The Kaiser 1985 Food Medley - 08 - I Love Rocky Road 1985 Food Medley - 09 - Spameater 1985 Food Medley - 10 - I Feel Like Throwin' Up 1985 Food Medley - 11 - Avocado 1985 Food Medley - 12 - Whole Lotta Lunch 1985 Food Medley - 13 - Bologna A Complicated Song A Complicated Song (Parody of "Complicated" by Avr... Aardvark Achy Breaky Song Addicted To Spuds Airline Amy Albuquerque Alimony Alligator Alternative Polka American Slob Amish Paradise Amish Paradise (Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by ... Amish Paridise Amoeba Angry White Boy Polka Angry White Boy Polka (Medley) Another One Rides The Bus Another One Rides the Bus [Live] Another Tattoo Another Tattoo [Video] Attack Of The Radioactive Hampster From A Planet N Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N... Avocado Baby Got Jack Baby Likes Burping Barney's On Fire Barney's On Fire Bedrock Anthem Belvedere Cruising Bob Bob (best version) Bohemian Polka Bologna Bomb Sadam Born To Be Mild Buckingham Blues Burger King Buy Me A Condo Cable TV Cabletv Callin' In Sick Callin\' In Sick Callin' In Sick Canadian Idiot Canadian Idiot Cat's In The Kettle Cavity Search Cavity Search (Parody of "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss... Cheerios Apple Jacks Cheerios Cheerios, Apple Jacks, Cheerios Chewbacca What A Wookie Chicken Pot Pie Christmas At Ground Zero Christmas Memories Of 'Weird Al' Yankovic Christmas Memories Of "Weird Al" Yankovic Christmas Memories of & Quot;Weird Al & Qu... Christmas Memories Or Weird Al Yankovic Close but No Cigar Close But No Cigar CNR Cockroaches Cockroachs Confessions Part III Confessions Part III Confessions Part III Constipated Constipated (AAvril Lavigne "Complicated" parody) Couch Potato Cows With Guns Craigslist Crampton Comes Alive Dare To Be Stupid Dead Car Battery Blues Do I Creep You Out Do I Creep You Out Dog Eat Dog Don't Download This Song Don't Touch That Don't Wear Those Shoes Don't You Forget About Meat Don't Download This Song Don't Touch That Don't Wear Those Shoes Don't You Forget About Meat Dr. Demento Radio Promo Dr. Demento's 15Th Anniversary Special Dr. Demento's 15Th Anniversary Special E-Bay Eat It Eat It! Ebay Elmo's Got A Gun Everything You Know Is Wrong Fast Food Fat Fatter Finale First World Problems Flatbush Avenue Foil food medley as performed in 1985 - 01 food medley as performed in 1985 - 02 food medley as performed in 1985 - 03 food medley as performed in 1985 - 04 food medley as performed in 1985 - 05 food medley as performed in 1985 - 06 food medley as performed in 1985 - 07 food medley as performed in 1985 - 08 food medley as performed in 1985 - 09 food medley as performed in 1985 - 10 food medley as performed in 1985 - 11 food medley as performed in 1985 - 12 food medley as performed in 1985 - 13 Frank's 2000' Tv Frank's 2000" Tv Frank's 2000\" TV Frank's 2000" Tv Free Delivery Fun Zone Gandhi Ii Gee, I'm A Nerd Gee, I'm A Nerd Generic Blues Genious In France Genius in France George Of The Jungle Germs Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch Girls Just Want to Have Lunch Good Enough For Now Good Old Days Gotta Boogie Grapefruit Diet Grapefruit Diet (Parody of "Zoot Suit Riot" By Che... Gravy On You Green Eggs & Ham Green Eggs And Ham Gump Gump (Parody of "Lump" by the Presidents of the Un... Handy Happy Birthday Hardware Store Harvey The Wonder Hamster Headline News Headline News (Version 2) Headline News (Version 3) Here's Johnny Here's Johnny Hit Me With A Rock Holiday Greetings 1987 Holiday Greetings 1988 Homer & Marge Homer And Marge Hooked On Polkas Hooker On A Corner Hooker On Corner Hummingbirds I Can't Watch This I Can't Watch This I Feel Like Throwin' Up I Feel Like Throwin' Up I Hate Big Butts I Lost On Jeopardy I Love Rocky Road I Remember Larry I Think I'm A Clone Now I Think I'm A Clone Now I Want A New Duck I Want It That Way I Was Only Kidding I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead I'll Repair For You I'll Repair For You ( A Theme For Home Improvement... I'll Sue Ya I'm Fat I'm So Sick Of You I\'m So Sick Of You I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead I'll Repair For You I'll Sue Ya I'm So Sick Of You If I Could Make Love To A Bottle If That Isn't Love If That Isn't Love Iguana Im a Wigga Im The Only Gay Eskimo Inactive Introduction Introduction - Carnival Of The Animals Part Two Isle Thing It's All About The Pentiums It's All About the Pentiums (An Adaptation of "It'... It's Christmas At Ground Zero It's Moldy Now It's Still Billy Joel To Me It\'s All About The Pentiums It's All About The Pentiums It's Moldy Now It's Still Billy Joel To Me Its All About The Pentiums Jackson Park Express Jerry Springer Jerry Springer (Parody of "One Week" By BareNaked ... Jurassic Park Kidstar 1250 Radio Promotion King Of Suede Lame Claim To Fame Lasagna Laundry Day Leisure Suit Serenade Let Me Be Your Hog Let's Bomb Iraq Like A Surgeon Livin' In The Fridge Living With A Hernia Llama Song Make My Boobies 1 More Size Make My Boobies One More Size Matter Of Crust Melanie Midnight Star Midnight Star [*] Mission Statement Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Money For Nothing, Beverly Hillbillies Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies Mr Frump In The Iron Lung Mr Popiel Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung Mr. Popeil My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder My Baby\'s In Love With Eddie Vedder My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder My Bologna My Own Eyes Nature Trail To Hell Never Met A Person As Wonderful As Me Night Santa Went Crazy Nobody Here But Us Frogs Now That's What I Call Polka NOW That's What I Call Polka! Now That's What I Call Polka Ode to a Superhero One More Minute One Of Those Days Pac Man Pacman Pancreas Pancreas Party at the Leper Colony Party In The CIA Party In The CIA Perform This Way Phoney Calls Phony Calls Phony Calls (Parody of "Waterfalls" by TLC) Pigeons Please Don't Wear Your Thong (Thong Song Parody) Polka Face Polka Face Polka Face Polka Party Polka Party! Polka Party! Polka Patterns Polka Power! Polka Your Eyes Out Polkamon Polkarama! Polkas On 45 Poodle Pretty Fly For A Rabbi Pretty Fly For A Rabi RealRadio 104.1 Rice, Rice Baby Ricky Ringtone Rocky Road Rye Or The Kaiser School Cafeteria - Version 1 School Cafeteria - Version 2 Shark She Drives Like Crazy She Never Told Me She Was A Mime Since You're Been Gone Since You've Been Gone Since You've Been Gone - Live Since You\'ve Been Gone Since You've Been Gone Six Words Long Skipper Dan Slime Creatures From Outer Space Smells Like Nirvana Smoke A Bowl Smoke A Bowl (Coca Cola Parody) Snack All Night Snails Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut Spam Spameater Spatula City Sports Song Spy Hard Spy Hard (theme From The Motion Picture Spy Hard) Star Wars Cantina Star Wars Copa Cabana Star Wars Gangsta Rap Star Wars Gangster Rap Star Wars: The Saga Begins Steak Number 3 Stop Draggin' My Car Around Stop Draggin' My Car Around Stop Dragging My Car Around Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White Such A Groovy Guy Syndicated Inc. Syndicated Inc. (Parody of "Misery" by Soul Asylum... Tacky Taco Grande Take Me Down Take Me To The Liver Take The "L" Out Of Liver Talk Soup That Boy could Dance The Alternative Polka The Backwards Section From Nature Trail To Hell The Ballad Of Kent Marlow The Beer Song The Beverly Hillbillies Miss You The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota The Brady Bunch The Check's In The Mail The Check's In The Mail The Devil Went Down To Jamaica The Hot Rocks Polka The Jedi song The Night Santa Went Crazy The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory Version) The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory) The Plumbing Song The Rye And The Kaiser The Saga Begins The Saga Begins (american Pie Adaptiton) The Saga Begins (Lyrical Adaption of "American Pie... The Weird Al Show Theme The White Stuff The Yoda Chant Theme From Rocky XIII Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye or the Kaiser) Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye or the Kaiser) This Is The Life Title of The Song in Question TMZ TMZ Toothless People Traffic Jam Trapped in the Drive-Thru Trapped in the Drive-Thru Trash Day Trash Day (Parody of "Hot in Herre" by Nelly) Trigger Happy Truck Drivin' Song Truck Drivin\' Song Truck Drivin' Song TV Tan Twister Ugly Girl Ugly Girl (Barbie Girl Parody) Ugly Irl UHF UHF [Single Version] Unicorn Velvet Elvis Virus Alert Vulture Waffle King Walking Around In Women's Underwear Wanna B Ur Lovr Wannabe Stromtrooper We Got The Beef We're All Gay (backstreet Boys) Weasel Stomping Day Weasel Stomping Day Weenie In A Bottle Weird Al - Pretty Fly For A Rabbi What If God Smoked Cannabis Whatever You Like When I Was Your Age Which Backstreet Boy is Gay White & Nerdy White & Nerdy White & Nerdy White And Nerdy Whole Lotta Lunch Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Windows 95 Sucks! With Legs Wide Open Won't Eat Prunes Again Word Crimes Yo!!! This Is A Digrace Yoda Yoda Chant You Don't Love Me Anymore You Don't Take Your Showers You Don't Love Me Anymore You Light Up My Life You Make Me You're Pitiful Young, Dumb & Ugly Young, Dumb & Ugly Young, Dumb, and Ugly your horoscope 4 today Your Horoscope For Today
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