Jackson Park Express
Weird Al Yankovic

[Verse 1:]
Tuesday morning, 8:15
I was riding to work on the
Jackson Park Express
Seemed like any other day
Then my whole world changed
In a way I never could have guessed
Cause she walked in
Took the seat right across the aisle
I knew we had a special connection
The second I saw her smile

She smiled as if to say
Hello, Haven't seen you on this bus before
I gave her a look that said
Huh, Life is funny, you never know what's in store
By the way, your hair is beautiful
I bet it smells like raisins

She looked at me in a way that asked
Did you have a nose job or something?
I'm only asking, cause your nose looks slightly better
Than the rest of your face
I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightly
Which was my way of asking
Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer?
It still works, Kinda
And I got a bunch of ink cartridges left

Then, she let out a long sigh
Which, I took to mean, Uh
Mama, What is that deodorant you're wearing?
It's intoxicating
Why don't we drive out to the country sometime?
And collect deer ticks in a zip-lock baggie, Oh yeah

I gave her a penetrating stare
Which could only mean
You are my answer, my answer to everything
Which is why, I'll probably do very poorly
On the written part of my driver's test

[Chorus:]
Yes, It all happened
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express

[Verse 2:]
I knew she was starting to fall for me
Cause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant
Baby, lets wear each other's clothes
And speak in a Victorian accent
And, maybe someday we can own and operate
Our own mobile pet-grooming service
I couldn't hold back my feelings
I gave her a look, that said
I would make any sacrifice for your love
Goat, chicken, whatever
I could never hold you close enough
Let's have our bodies surgically grafted together
Oh, surgically grafted together

She picked up her newspaper, and started reading to herself
Which I'm sure, was a way of telling me
When you're cold, I will warm you
When you're shivering, I will hold you
When your nauseous, I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hour
For as long as the symptoms persist
Oh, I, I never, ever want to see you cry
So, please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welder
Then, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a second
In a way that clearly implied
I like your boobs

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
I cleared my throat quietly, and then, I looked away
And I'm sure it was obvious to her, just what I was trying to say
I was trying to say, Hey
I'd like to make a wall-sized mural out of all the dead skin cells
That you slough off while you sleep at night
Whoa-o-Oh, I'd like to rip you wide open
And french-kiss every single one of your internal organs
Oh, I'd like to remove all your skin, and wear your skin, over my own skin
But not in a creepy way

Then, I'm pretty sure, she looked at me, out of the corner of her good eye
And, though, she never spoke a word, this is exactly what I heard
She was saying, Oh!
I wanna make out with you, in an abandoned toll-booth, in the middle of a monsoon
I wanna ride dolphins with you, in the moonlight
Until the staff at Sea World kicks us out
I want you inside me, oh, like a tapeworm

I pointed to the side of my mouth, as a way of indicating
Hey, I think you got something on the side of your mouth
She licked the corner of her lips, as if to say
Here?, I nodded, implying, Yeah, you got it

And, then the bus stopped, at 53rd Street, and she got up suddenly
Where are you going?, pleaded my eyes, Baby, don't you do this to me
Think of the beautiful children we could have someday
We could school them at home, Raise them up the right way
And protect them from the evils of the world
Like Trigonometry and Prime Numbers, oh no
Baby, please don't go

She brushed my leg, as she left the bus
I'm sure that was her way of saying
I'm sorry this just isn't working out
You're suffocating me
I need some space to find out what life's all about
So, goodbye forever, my love

And deep inside, I knew she was right
It was time for us both to move on
And though, I never got her number, oh no no
She never bothered to leave her address, oh
But, as long as I live, I'll never forget
Those precious moments we shared together

[Outro:]
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express
On the Jackson Park Express


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Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic

  (This Song's Just) Six Words Long   1985 Food Medley - 01 - It's Moldy Now   1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor   1985 Food Medley - 03 - Steak Number 3   1985 Food Medley - 04 - Burger King   1985 Food Medley - 05 - Don't You Forget About Mea...   1985 Food Medley - 06 - Girls Just Want To Have Lu...   1985 Food Medley - 07 - The Rye And The Kaiser   1985 Food Medley - 08 - I Love Rocky Road   1985 Food Medley - 09 - Spameater   1985 Food Medley - 10 - I Feel Like Throwin' Up   1985 Food Medley - 11 - Avocado   1985 Food Medley - 12 - Whole Lotta Lunch   1985 Food Medley - 13 - Bologna   A Complicated Song   A Complicated Song (Parody of "Complicated" by Avr...   Aardvark   Achy Breaky Song   Addicted To Spuds   Airline Amy   Albuquerque   Alimony   Alligator   Alternative Polka   American Slob   Amish Paradise   Amish Paradise (Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by ...   Amish Paridise   Amoeba   Angry White Boy Polka   Angry White Boy Polka (Medley)   Another One Rides The Bus   Another One Rides the Bus [Live]   Another Tattoo   Another Tattoo [Video]   Attack Of The Radioactive Hampster From A Planet N   Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N   Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N...   Avocado   Baby Got Jack   Baby Likes Burping   Barney's On Fire   Barney's On Fire   Bedrock Anthem   Belvedere Cruising   Bob   Bob (best version)   Bohemian Polka   Bologna   Bomb Sadam   Born To Be Mild   Buckingham Blues   Burger King   Buy Me A Condo   Cable TV   Cabletv   Callin' In Sick   Callin\' In Sick   Callin' In Sick   Canadian Idiot   Canadian Idiot   Cat's In The Kettle   Cavity Search   Cavity Search (Parody of "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss...   Cheerios Apple Jacks Cheerios   Cheerios, Apple Jacks, Cheerios   Chewbacca What A Wookie   Chicken Pot Pie   Christmas At Ground Zero   Christmas Memories Of 'Weird Al' Yankovic   Christmas Memories Of "Weird Al" Yankovic   Christmas Memories of & Quot;Weird Al & Qu...   Christmas Memories Or Weird Al Yankovic   Close but No Cigar   Close But No Cigar   CNR   Cockroaches   Cockroachs   Confessions Part III   Confessions Part III   Confessions Part III   Constipated   Constipated (AAvril Lavigne "Complicated" parody)   Couch Potato   Cows With Guns   Craigslist   Crampton Comes Alive   Dare To Be Stupid   Dead Car Battery Blues   Do I Creep You Out   Do I Creep You Out   Dog Eat Dog   Don't Download This Song   Don't Touch That   Don't Wear Those Shoes   Don't You Forget About Meat   Don't Download This Song   Don't Touch That   Don't Wear Those Shoes   Don't You Forget About Meat   Dr. Demento Radio Promo   Dr. Demento's 15Th Anniversary Special   Dr. Demento's 15Th Anniversary Special   E-Bay   Eat It   Eat It!   Ebay   Elmo's Got A Gun   Everything You Know Is Wrong   Fast Food   Fat   Fatter   Finale   First World Problems   Flatbush Avenue   Foil   food medley as performed in 1985 - 01   food medley as performed in 1985 - 02   food medley as performed in 1985 - 03   food medley as performed in 1985 - 04   food medley as performed in 1985 - 05   food medley as performed in 1985 - 06   food medley as performed in 1985 - 07   food medley as performed in 1985 - 08   food medley as performed in 1985 - 09   food medley as performed in 1985 - 10   food medley as performed in 1985 - 11   food medley as performed in 1985 - 12   food medley as performed in 1985 - 13   Frank's 2000' Tv   Frank's 2000" Tv   Frank's 2000\" TV   Frank's 2000" Tv   Free Delivery   Fun Zone   Gandhi Ii   Gee, I'm A Nerd   Gee, I'm A Nerd   Generic Blues   Genious In France   Genius in France   George Of The Jungle   Germs   Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch   Girls Just Want to Have Lunch   Good Enough For Now   Good Old Days   Gotta Boogie   Grapefruit Diet   Grapefruit Diet (Parody of "Zoot Suit Riot" By Che...   Gravy On You   Green Eggs & Ham   Green Eggs And Ham   Gump   Gump (Parody of "Lump" by the Presidents of the Un...   Handy   Happy Birthday   Hardware Store   Harvey The Wonder Hamster   Headline News   Headline News (Version 2)   Headline News (Version 3)   Here's Johnny   Here's Johnny   Hit Me With A Rock   Holiday Greetings 1987   Holiday Greetings 1988   Homer & Marge   Homer And Marge   Hooked On Polkas   Hooker On A Corner   Hooker On Corner   Hummingbirds   I Can't Watch This   I Can't Watch This   I Feel Like Throwin' Up   I Feel Like Throwin' Up   I Hate Big Butts   I Lost On Jeopardy   I Love Rocky Road   I Remember Larry   I Think I'm A Clone Now   I Think I'm A Clone Now   I Want A New Duck   I Want It That Way   I Was Only Kidding   I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead   I'll Repair For You   I'll Repair For You ( A Theme For Home Improvement...   I'll Sue Ya   I'm Fat   I'm So Sick Of You   I\'m So Sick Of You   I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead   I'll Repair For You   I'll Sue Ya   I'm So Sick Of You   If I Could Make Love To A Bottle   If That Isn't Love   If That Isn't Love   Iguana   Im a Wigga   Im The Only Gay Eskimo   Inactive   Introduction   Introduction - Carnival Of The Animals Part Two   Isle Thing   It's All About The Pentiums   It's All About the Pentiums (An Adaptation of "It'...   It's Christmas At Ground Zero   It's Moldy Now   It's Still Billy Joel To Me   It\'s All About The Pentiums   It's All About The Pentiums   It's Moldy Now   It's Still Billy Joel To Me   Its All About The Pentiums   Jerry Springer   Jerry Springer (Parody of "One Week" By BareNaked ...   Jurassic Park   Kidstar 1250 Radio Promotion   King Of Suede   Lame Claim To Fame   Lasagna   Laundry Day   Leisure Suit Serenade   Let Me Be Your Hog   Let's Bomb Iraq   Like A Surgeon   Livin' In The Fridge   Living With A Hernia   Llama Song   Make My Boobies 1 More Size   Make My Boobies One More Size   Matter Of Crust   Melanie   Midnight Star   Midnight Star [*]   Mission Statement   Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm   Money For Nothing, Beverly Hillbillies   Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies   Mr Frump In The Iron Lung   Mr Popiel   Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung   Mr. Popeil   My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder   My Baby\'s In Love With Eddie Vedder   My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder   My Bologna   My Own Eyes   Nature Trail To Hell   Never Met A Person As Wonderful As Me   Night Santa Went Crazy   Nobody Here But Us Frogs   Now That's What I Call Polka   NOW That's What I Call Polka!   Now That's What I Call Polka   Ode to a Superhero   One More Minute   One Of Those Days   Pac Man   Pacman   Pancreas   Pancreas   Party at the Leper Colony   Party In The CIA   Party In The CIA   Perform This Way   Phoney Calls   Phony Calls   Phony Calls (Parody of "Waterfalls" by TLC)   Pigeons   Please Don't Wear Your Thong (Thong Song Parody)   Polka Face   Polka Face   Polka Face   Polka Party   Polka Party!   Polka Party!   Polka Patterns   Polka Power!   Polka Your Eyes Out   Polkamon   Polkarama!   Polkas On 45   Poodle   Pretty Fly For A Rabbi   Pretty Fly For A Rabi   RealRadio 104.1   Rice, Rice Baby   Ricky   Ringtone   Rocky Road   Rye Or The Kaiser   School Cafeteria - Version 1   School Cafeteria - Version 2   Shark   She Drives Like Crazy   She Never Told Me She Was A Mime   Since You're Been Gone   Since You've Been Gone   Since You've Been Gone - Live   Since You\'ve Been Gone   Since You've Been Gone   Six Words Long   Skipper Dan   Slime Creatures From Outer Space   Smells Like Nirvana   Smoke A Bowl   Smoke A Bowl (Coca Cola Parody)   Snack All Night   Snails   Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut   Spam   Spameater   Spatula City   Sports Song   Spy Hard   Spy Hard (theme From The Motion Picture Spy Hard)   Star Wars Cantina   Star Wars Copa Cabana   Star Wars Gangsta Rap   Star Wars Gangster Rap   Star Wars: The Saga Begins   Steak Number 3   Stop Draggin' My Car Around   Stop Draggin' My Car Around   Stop Dragging My Car Around   Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me   Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White   Such A Groovy Guy   Syndicated Inc.   Syndicated Inc. (Parody of "Misery" by Soul Asylum...   Tacky   Taco Grande   Take Me Down   Take Me To The Liver   Take The "L" Out Of Liver   Talk Soup   That Boy could Dance   The Alternative Polka   The Backwards Section From Nature Trail To Hell   The Ballad Of Kent Marlow   The Beer Song   The Beverly Hillbillies Miss You   The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota   The Brady Bunch   The Check's In The Mail   The Check's In The Mail   The Devil Went Down To Jamaica   The Hot Rocks Polka   The Jedi song   The Night Santa Went Crazy   The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory Version)   The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory)   The Plumbing Song   The Rye And The Kaiser   The Saga Begins   The Saga Begins (american Pie Adaptiton)   The Saga Begins (Lyrical Adaption of "American Pie...   The Weird Al Show Theme   The White Stuff   The Yoda Chant   Theme From Rocky XIII   Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye or the Kaiser)   Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye or the Kaiser)   This Is The Life   Title of The Song in Question   TMZ   TMZ   Toothless People   Traffic Jam   Trapped in the Drive-Thru   Trapped In The Drive-Thru   Trapped in the Drive-Thru   Trash Day   Trash Day (Parody of "Hot in Herre" by Nelly)   Trigger Happy   Truck Drivin' Song   Truck Drivin\' Song   Truck Drivin' Song   TV Tan   Twister   Ugly Girl   Ugly Girl (Barbie Girl Parody)   Ugly Irl   UHF   UHF [Single Version]   Unicorn   Velvet Elvis   Virus Alert   Vulture   Waffle King   Walking Around In Women's Underwear   Wanna B Ur Lovr   Wannabe Stromtrooper   We Got The Beef   We're All Gay (backstreet Boys)   Weasel Stomping Day   Weasel Stomping Day   Weenie In A Bottle   Weird Al - Pretty Fly For A Rabbi   What If God Smoked Cannabis   Whatever You Like   When I Was Your Age   Which Backstreet Boy is Gay   White & Nerdy   White & Nerdy   White & Nerdy   White And Nerdy   Whole Lotta Lunch   Why Does This Always Happen To Me?   Windows 95 Sucks!   With Legs Wide Open   Won't Eat Prunes Again   Word Crimes   Yo!!! This Is A Digrace   Yoda   Yoda Chant   You Don't Love Me Anymore   You Don't Take Your Showers   You Don't Love Me Anymore   You Light Up My Life   You Make Me   You're Pitiful   Young, Dumb & Ugly   Young, Dumb & Ugly   Young, Dumb, and Ugly   your horoscope 4 today   Your Horoscope For Today

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