So you're takin' better care of your bodyBecoming more aware of your body.Responding to your body's needs.Everything you hear and read about diets,Nutrition and sleeping position and detoxifying your system,And buying machines that they advertise to help you exercise.Herbs to revitalize you if you're traumatized.Soaps that will sanitize.Sprays to deordorize.Liquid to neutralize acids and pesticides.Free weights to maximize your strength and muscle size.Shots that will immunize.Pills to re-energize you.But remember that for all your pain and gainEventually the story ends the same...You can quite smokin', but you're still gonna die.Cut out cokin', but you're still gonna die.Eliminate everything fatty or fried,And you get real healthy, but you're still gonna die.Stop drinkin' booze, you're still gonna die.Stay away from cooze, you're still gonna die.You can cut out coffee and never get high,But you're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die.You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die.Still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die.You can even give aerobics one more try,But when the music stops playin', you're still gonna die.Put seat belts in your car, you're still gonna die.Cut nicotine tar, you're still gonna die.You can exercise that cellulite off your thigh.Get slimmer and trimmer, but you're still gonna die.Stop gettin' a tan, you're still gonna die.You can search for UFO's up in the skyThey might fly you to Mars where you're still gonna die.You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die.Still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die.And all the Reeboks and Nikes and Adidas you buyYou can jog up to heaven and you're still gonna die.Drink ginseng tonics, you're still gonna die.Try high colonics, you're still gonna die.You can have yourself frozen and suspended in time,But when they do thaw you out, you're still gonna die.You can have safe sex, you're still gonna die.You can switch to Crest, you're still gonna die.You can get rid of stress, get a lot of rest,Get an AIDS test, enroll in EST,Move out west where it's sunny and dryAnd you'll live to be a hundredBut you're still gonna die.You're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die.Still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die.So you'd better have some fun'Fore you say bye-bye,'Cause you're still gonna, still gonna, still gonna die.
Lyrics by Shel Silverstein
(Pour Me Another) Tequila Sheila $100,000 in Pennies 25 Minutes To Go A Couple More Years A Front Row Seat To Hear Ole Johnny Sing A Front Row Seat to Hear Ole Johnny Sing [*] Acapulco Goldie Alimoney (Also recorded as "Alimony") All About You All The Time In The World Aphrodisiac Back Home In Huntsville Again Beans Taste Fine Better Not Ask Me Beware Of Lovers Bigtime Blue Eyes Boa Constrictor Bottomless Well Boy Named Sue Bread Upon The Waters Bury Me In My Shades Carry Me, Carrie Centaur Changing of the Seasons Civil War Song Cloudy Sky Cornflakes With Sugar And Teardrops Cover Of The Rolling Stone Daddy, What If? Dance To It Date In Dallas Daylight Dreamer Diet Song Dirty Feet Drain My Brain Drop The Bomb Drunk And Crazy Everybody Got Some But Me (Rauncy Playboy Version) Everybody Got Some But Me (Tame Recorded Version) Father Of A Boy Named Sue February Snow First Battalion Floobie Doobie Doo Food Blues Get Away Get My Rocks Off Go Back, Learn To Use That Thing Goodnight Little House Plant Goodnight, Little Houseplant Gotta Get Rid Of This Band Greasy Grit Gravy Grizzly Bear Hamlet As Told On The Street Handy Man Have Another Espresso Help Me, Mama Hey Nelly Nelly! Hey, Lady Godiva Hoodoo Voodoo Lady I Call That True Love I Gave Her Comfort I Got Stoned and I Missed It I Hear America Singing I Never Got To Know Her I Once Knew A Woman In The Hills of Shiloh Inside A Lion It Does Not Pay To Be Hip Jaded Jennifer Johnson and Me Judy June 25th At The 4th Of July Jungle To The Zoo Just Came Down For The Weekend Kick It Again Killed By A Coconut Kiss It Away Liberated Lady 1999 Little Green Buttons Living Legend Liz Lullabys, Legends And Lies Marie Laveaux Masochistic Baby Me And Jimmie Rodgers Mermaid Michaelangelo Midnight Sunshine Modern Talk Monterey Jack More Like The Movies Mountain Mary My Next Impersonation Never Be This Young Again Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh Numbers Oh, You Engineer On The Way To The Bottom Paranoid Pathetic Way Of Getting Over Me Paul Peanut Butter Sandwich Peanut-Butter Sandwich Penicillin Penny Perfect High (Or The Quest For Gimmesome Roy) Plastic Polly In A Porny Put A Little Bit On Me Put Another Log On The Fire Quaaludes Again Queen Of The Silver Dollar Raquel Welch Red-Neck Hippie Romance Rest Awhile Rings Of Grass Rock & Roll Hotel Roland The Roadie And Gertrude The Groupie Row, Row, Row Sahra Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garb... Sausalito Witch Scum Of The Earth Show It At The Beach Sing Me A Rainbow Sing Us Some Of The Old Songs Six Days Back At Home So Good To So Bad Somebody Stole My Rig Someone Ate The Baby (Dreadful) Stacy Brown Got Two Standing On The Outside Of Your Shelter Sweetest Of All Testing The Bomb That Plane The Avocado Tree The Ballad of Lucy Jordan The Clam The Danger Of A Stranger The Devil And Billy Markham The Diet The Diet Song The Father Of The Boy Named Sue The Giving Tree The Golden Kiss The Great Conch Train Robbery The Great Lakes Song The Lady With The Torch The Man Who Got No Sign The Man Who Turns The Damn Thing Off And On The Mermaid The Mermaid Of Ontario The Monkey And The Elephant The Peace Proposal The Perfect Wave The Radio The Slitheree-Dee The Smoke Off The Ugliest Man in Town The Unemployment Line The Winner The Wonderful Soup Stone They Held Me Down Thirteen Tons of Ice Cream This Guitar Is For Sale Three-Legged Man Thumbsucker Time Truck Driver, Truck Driver True Story True Story [#][*] Turn On The World Ugliest Man In Town Uncle Don Up On The Mountain Vanilla Vegas Vegematic Warm And Free What Have You Dont For Me Lately? When She Cries Whiplash Will Whistlers And Jugglers With His Mouth Full Of Food Yellow-Haired Woman Yes, Mr. Rodgers Yowzah!