In 1986 the University of California Davis saw two of its all time brightest stars, Dr Alphonse Mephesto and Dr Arnie Absucrepin. Dr Mephesto worked hard towards his theasis, his goal was to genetically duplicate the DNA structure of an asparagus, so that all asparagus' would grow to the same girth and length, giving asparagus a much more pleasant presentation in the world's supermarket vegetable bin. D Absucrepin's goal was to genetically create the greatest musical entertainer the world had ever seen. Doctor Absucrepin knew that if he could assemble the right elements he could theoretically build the DNA structure that would ensure his creation had talent far surpassing the average the average individual. At the time one subject of urban myth was the story that Michael Jackson, in an attempt to retain his youthful look and feminine vocal characteristics, had his testicles surgically removed thereby making him a modern day castrato. If such a rumor were true, Michael Jackson more that likely would have had some of his semen preserved before the surgery to ensure the future of his name and lineage. Word came back to Dr Absucrepin of a secret cold storage locker deep within the bowels of the UCLA research center, that not only contained 4 containers of frozen semen, but also held a pair of testicles, each was labeled with the name, 'Jack Michaelson'.I once heard a noise..in the night, the most sensual voiceA song of love from an angelic boyStuck in my head, and this is what he said..'I am Gopher Boy, pondering reality,I am Gopher Boy, Who will find my raspberries?'This had to be the seed of the king of pop. Dr Absucrepin was able to use his charm and Chiseled Great features to woo a young lab technician by the name of Jennifer, who of course, just happened to have the proper access needed to obtain a small vial of the precious semen. The search for the egg was a short one, Dr Mephesto simply ran an ad in the classified section of an L.A. music magazine. The ad read, 'Wanted: Unfertilized human eggs for genetic experiment, donors must have musical background'. With a plethora of young, eager, wannabe musical starlets willing to sell their eggs, the two doctors after rigorous auditioning, picked and purchased. Doctor Absucrepin felt that it would be far less complicated legally if the fetus were brought to term in a the womb of a non-human. He had long since secured the services of the University Volleyball Mascot, a Llama by the name of 'Missy'. When the baby was ready, the child was removed via Cecarium. It was a healthy Baby Boy. He was Named Kevin.I once heard a noise..in the night, the most sensual voiceA song of love from an angelic boyStuck in my head, and this is what he said..'I am Gopher Boy, pondering reality,I am Gopher Boy, Who will find my raspberries?'Kevin was a Beautiful child, Dr Absucrepin saw to it that Kevin was trained by the best in all aspects of Performing. His voice was Golden and had a Sweetness to it that most Males Lacked. He moved with Grace and was able to Moonwalk by the time he was 3. As Kevin grew with his talent, Dr Absucrepin Started noticing odd Developments in his physical state. When Kevin lost his baby teeth, his secondaries came in with a vengeance; they were at least twice the size of a normal adults and the two in front stuck nearly straight out. Also as Kevin Reached his 8th year he was the same height as when he was 4. To top it off he was growing hair all over and his penis was enormous, even by adult standards. It also dawned on the doctor that even through all the years of hearing Kevin sing he rarely spoke, often choosing to communicate with various grunts and gurgles.I once heard a noise..in the night, the most sensual voiceA song of love from an angelic boyStuck in my head, and this is what he said..'I am Gopher Boy, pondering reality,I am Gopher Boy, Who will find my raspberries?'Others were noticing the changes in Kevin. Children began to tease him, and call him 'Gopher Boy'. One day a bully by the name of 'Big Roy' started throwing bananas at him. Soon a crowd of kids were all throwing bananas. Suddenly in a fury, Kevin rushed at Big Roy and bit three fingers off on his left hand. Kevin was taken away and placed in the custody of the state. Dr Absucrepin actions were found out but because there was no legislation concerning the genetic construction of another human being, no criminal charges were brought forth. The medical associations board of ethics stripped him of all his credentials and his reputation was ruined. In fact his name became so synonymous with failure that for years to come med students around the world were known to say in times of mishap, 'Damn, I feel just like Absucrepin!' Dr Mephesto immediately proceedings to adopt little Kevin. Being a noted scientist and the creator of the cloned asparagus, it wasn't long before the two were legally united as father and son. The moved to Colorado where they could live in relative obscurity. Kevin is still a boy of few spoken words, sticking mainly to his grunts and gurgles, but on occasions if you listen closely, you can hear his sweet golden singing voice ring out into the night over the small town of South Park..'I am Gopher Boy, pondering reality,I am Gopher Boy, Who will find my raspberries?'
Lyrics by South Park
2 Joints 3rd Wish A Lonely Jew On Christmas A Lonley Jew On Christmas All Cot Up Anything Goes At Shetoro's Crib (A Poem) At Shetoro's Crib (A Poem) (Chopped & Screwed) Back That Ass Up Bigger, Longer, And Uncut Script Bitch Blame Canada Blazin Janey (Chopped & Screwed) Block of Rock Bloody War Boys on Da Cut Brad Logan Brad Logan - Rancid Broadway Bubblegoose Bubblegoose - Wyclef Jean Burn Us Alive Cali Tex Connect California Love Canadian ABC's Carol Of The Bells Carolyn's Hook Carolyn's Hook (Chopped & Screwed) Child Of The Ghetto Children Of The Ghetto Chocolate Salty Balls Chocolate Salty Balls (p.si Love You) Christmas Time In Hell Circle Of Poo City Of Dank Come Sail Away Come Sail Away - Eric Cartman Comin' Up Comin' Down Cookie Baker Cool Enough Country Life Crazy Lady Dallas To Houston Dead, Dead, Dead Deep Instrumental Don't Hide It Don't Let Them Foolya Dope Game Dope House Family Dope House Family (Chopped & Screwed) Dope House Intro Dradle Song Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel Duh Duh Duh El Jugador (The Player) Eyes Of A Child Feel Like Makin' Love Filthy Rich Follow My Lead For Years [\ Forgot About Timmy Forgotten Verse Full version: Uncle Fucker Garza West Get Yo Guns Getting Gay With Kids Choir Song (part 1) Getting Gay With Kids Choir Song (part 2) Ghetto Prisoner Ghetto Tales Good Love - Isaac Hayes as Chef Graveyards [\ H-Town G-Funk Habitual Criminal Hark! The Herald Angels Sing Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas He's a Bird, He's a Plane Heat of The Moment Hell Isn't Good Hey, People. You Gotta Drive Hybrids, Already. High Everyday High So High Hillwood Hillwood Hustlaz Hillwood Hustlaz Ii Ho Ho Horny Horny - Mousse Tvs Hot 'n' Juicy Horny + Sid Greenfield Argument Hot Lava Hubba Hubba Huboon Stomp Huboon Stomp - Devo Hurricane Of Change Hustle Town I Am Your Future I Can Change I Hate You Guys I Must Be High I Need A Sweet I Saw Three Ships I Swear It (I Can Change) - Violent Femmes I Wanna Know Her Name I'm A Little Bit Country I'm Super I'm Super - Big Gay Al Iatola If I Die Illegal Amigos Imprisonment [\ In My Hood In My Safe Space In The Ghetto (Cartman's Version) It Happened In Sun Valley It Happenned In Sun Valley It's A Rockin' World It's a Rockin' World - D.JBonebrake It's Easy Mmmkay Jackin' It In San Diego Jesus Baby Kanye West - Gay Fish Kenny Goes To Hell Kenny's Dead Kenny's Dead - Master P Kyle's Mom Is A Bitch (in D Minor) Kyle's Mom Is A Stupid Bitch Kyle's Mom's A B**ch Kyle's Mom's A Big Fat B**ch - Joe C Kyles Mom Is A Bitch La Resistance La Resistance (Medley) La Resistance Reprise (Mole\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Dea... Land of the Lost Latin Throne Latola Lemmiwink's Song Lemmiwinks Lemmiwinks' Quest Let's Fight Love Let's Fighting Love Let's Fight Love Lets Fighting Love Little Boy You're Going To Hell! Lobo Wanna Raise Lord Loco's Melody Los [Screwed] Love Gravy Love Gravy - Rick James Mafiosos Main Theme Make It Right Mary-go-round Medicine Meet Your Fate Mentally Dull [think Tank Remix] Mephisto and Kevin Mephisto And Kevin - Primus Mexican Heaven Mexican Radio Mi Ruka Minorities At My Waterpark Miss Perfect Moham Mitchell Montage Mountain Reprise Mountain Town Mountain Town (Reprise) Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo Mr. Hankey Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo: Early '50s... Mrhanky The Christmas Poo: Early '50s Recording Mrs. Landers Was A Health Nut My Feria Night Shift No Substitute Nowhere To Run O Canada - Geddy Lee And Alex Lifeson Of Rush O Holy Night O Tannenbaum Oh My My One of Those Nights Ooh Wee Peace Pipe Penitentiary Flow Penitentiary Flow (Chopped & Screwed) Power Moves Problemas Prostitute Song Queef Free Rainbow - Ween Real Gangsta Real Gangsta (Chopped & Screwed) Real Gangster Red Beams And Rice Reminisce Revenge Revenge! Riches To Rags (MMMKay) - Nappy Roots Riddla on Da Roof Rollin' Run Away [\ Runaway S.P. So Bastardly S.P. So Bastardly (Chopped & Screwed) Santa Claus Is On His Way Screens Falling Screwed Up Tape Series 3 Theme tune Sexual Harassment Panda Sexual Harassment Panda (correct) Shout Outz Shut Yo Face (uncle F**ka) - Trick Daddy Simultaneous Since Day 1 Skit Somethin' I Would Do Something About Mary Something About Mary (Chopped & Screwed) South Park Theme South Park Theme - Primus Special In Our Own Way SPM Diaries SPM Diaries (Chopped & Screwed) SPM vs. Los Stan's Song Stay On Your Grind Streets on Beats Styrofoam Cup Suck My Balls Mr. Garision Suckaz N Hataz Super - RuPaul Swiss Colony Beeflog Taco Flavoured Kisses Taco-Flavored Kisses (MegaMix) Tex to Cali Part 2 The Beach House The Beer Song The Canadian Prime Minister The Day Of Unity The Most Offensive Song Ever The Prostitute Song The Rainbow The Real Slim Shady The System Third Grade Throw Away Gats Thug Girl Time is Money Tonight Is Right For Love Twice Last Night Uncle F**ka Uncle Fucka Up There Valley Vote Or Die Wake up Wendy - Elton John Wake Up Wendy! Watch The Block Bleed We Ain't Goin' Nowhere We Did Dat We Three Kings Wendy's Cunt song West Coast, Gulf Coast, East Coast What The Hell Child Is This? What Would Brian Boitano Do 2 What Would Brian Boitano Do? What Would Brian Boitano Do? PtII - D.V.D.A. Whatever You Do When Devils Strike When Devils Strike (Chopped & Screwed) Where Has My Country Gone? Who's Over There Wiggy Wiggy Wiggy Wild Wild West - Cartman Will They Die 4 You? Will They Die 4 You? - Lil' Kim Wishing Tree Wizard Of Oz Woodson N Worthin Work For a Better Future You Know My Name You Know My Name (Remix)