In 1986, the University of California Davis, sought two of the
All-time brightest stars,
Dr. Alphonze Mephesto, and Dr. Arny Abe Sacrabin,
Dr. Mephesto worked hard toward his thesis,
His goal was to genetically duplicate the DNA structure of asparagus,
So that all asparagus would grow to the same girth and length,
Giving asparagus a much more pleasant presentation in the world's
Supermarket vegetable business.
Dr. Abe Sacrabin's goal was to genetically create the greatest musical
Entertainer the world had ever seen,
Dr. Abe Sacrabin knew that if he could assemble the right elements he
Could theoretically build a DNA structure,
That would ensure his creation of talent far surpassing the average individual.
At the time, one subject of urban myth was the story that Michael
Jackson, in a effort to
Retain his youthful look and feminine vocal characteristics had his
Testicles surgically removed,
Thereby making him a modern day Castrato,
If such a rumor were true,
Michael Jackson more than likely would have some of his semen preserved
Before the surgery to insure the future of his name and lineage.
Word came back to Dr. Abe Sacrabin,
Of a secret cold storage locker
Deep within the bowels of a used UCLA research center,
That not only contained four containers of frozen semen,
But also held a pair of testicles each was labeled with the name, Jack Michaelson.
I once heard a noise, In the night the most sentuaint voice,
The song of love from an angelic boy, stuck in my head,
And this is what he said
I am gopher boy, pondering reality,
I am gopher boy, Who will buy my raspberries?
This had to be the seed of the king of pop,
Dr. Abe Sacrabin was able to use his charm and chiseled great features
To woo a young lab technician by the name of Jennifer,
Who of course just happened to have the proper access needed to obtain a
Small vile of the precious semen.
The search for the egg was a short one,
Dr. Mephesto simply ran an ad in the classified section of an LA Music
Magazine. The ad read,
Wanted, unfertilized human eggs for genetic experiment.
Donors must have musical background.
With a plethora of young eager wannabe musical stardoms,
Willing to sell their eggs,
The two doctors, after rigorous auditioning, picked and purchased.
Dr. Abe Sacrabin felt that it would be far less complicated legally,
If the fetus was brought to term in the womb of a non human.
He had long since secured the services of the University Volleyball
Mascot,
A llama by the name of Missy.
When the baby was ready,
The child was removed via cesarean.
It was a healthy baby boy, and he was named Kevin.
I once heard a noise, In the night the most sentuaint voice,
The song of love from an angelic boy, stuck in my head,
And this is what he said,
I am gopher boy, pondering reality,
I am gopher boy, Who will buy my raspberries?
Kevin was a beautiful child,
Dr. Abe Sacrabin sought to it that Kevin was trained by the best in all
Aspects of performing, his voice was golden
And had a sweetness to it that most males lacked.
He moved with grace and was able to moonwalk by the time he was three.
As Kevin grew with talent, Dr. Abe Sacrabin started noticing odd
Developments in his physical state.
When Kevin lost his baby teeth, his secondaries came in with a vengeance,
They were at least twice the size as a normal adult's and the two in
Front stuck nearly straight out, also as Kevin reached the 8th year,
He was the same height as he was when he was 4.
To top it off, he was growing hair all over and his penis was enormous,
Even by adult standards.
It also dawned on the doctor
That even through all the years of hearing Kevin's singing,
He rarely spoke, often chosing
To communicate through various grunts and gurgles
I once heard a voice, In the night the most sentuaint voice,
The song of love from an angelic boy, stuck in my head,
And this is what he said,
I am gopher boy, pondering reality,
I am Gopher Boy, who will buy my raspberries?
Other's were noticing the changes in Kevin,
The children began to tease him, and call him Gopher Boy.
One Day, a bully by the name of Big Roy, started throwing bananas at him,
Soon a crowd of kids were all throwing bananas.
Suddenly, in a fury, Kevin rushed at Big Roy and bit 3 fingers off on his left hand.
Kevin was taken away and placed in the custody of the state,
Dr. Abe Sacrabin actions were found out,
But because there was no legislation concerning the genetic construction
Of another human being,
No criminal charges were brought forth.
The medical association's board of ethics stripped him of all his
Credentials and his reputation was ruined,
In fact, his name became so synonymous with failure,
That for years to come, med students around the world were known to say
In time of mishap,
Damn, I feel just like Abe Sacrabin.
Dr. Mephesto immediately began proceeds to adopt little Kevin.
Being a noted scientist and the creator of the cloned asparagus,
It wasn't long before the two were legally united as father and son.
They moved to Colorado, where they live in relative obscurity.
Kevin is still a boy, of few spoken words, sticking mainly to his grunts and gurgles,
But on occasion, if you listen closely, you can hear his sweet golden
Singing voice, ring out into the night, over the small town, of South Park.
I am gopher boy pondering reality,
I am Gopher Boy, who will buy my raspberries?
Mephisto and Kevin
South Park
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Lyrics by South Park
2 Joints 3rd Wish A Lonely Jew On Christmas A Lonley Jew On Christmas All Cot Up Anything Goes At Shetoro's Crib (A Poem) At Shetoro's Crib (A Poem) (Chopped & Screwed) Back That Ass Up Bigger, Longer, And Uncut Script Bitch Blame Canada Blazin Janey (Chopped & Screwed) Block of Rock Bloody War Boys on Da Cut Brad Logan Brad Logan - Rancid Broadway Bubblegoose Bubblegoose - Wyclef Jean Burn Us Alive Cali Tex Connect California Love Canadian ABC's Carol Of The Bells Carolyn's Hook Carolyn's Hook (Chopped & Screwed) Child Of The Ghetto Children Of The Ghetto Chocolate Salty Balls Chocolate Salty Balls (p.si Love You) Christmas Time In Hell Circle Of Poo City Of Dank Come Sail Away Come Sail Away - Eric Cartman Comin' Up Comin' Down Cookie Baker Cool Enough Country Life Crazy Lady Dallas To Houston Dead, Dead, Dead Deep Instrumental Don't Hide It Don't Let Them Foolya Dope Game Dope House Family Dope House Family (Chopped & Screwed) Dope House Intro Dradle Song Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel Duh Duh Duh El Jugador (The Player) Eyes Of A Child Feel Like Makin' Love Filthy Rich Follow My Lead For Years [\ Forgot About Timmy Forgotten Verse Full version: Uncle Fucker Garza West Get Yo Guns Getting Gay With Kids Choir Song (part 1) Getting Gay With Kids Choir Song (part 2) Ghetto Prisoner Ghetto Tales Good Love - Isaac Hayes as Chef Graveyards [\ H-Town G-Funk Habitual Criminal Hark! The Herald Angels Sing Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas He's a Bird, He's a Plane Heat of The Moment Hell Isn't Good Hey, People. You Gotta Drive Hybrids, Already. High Everyday High So High Hillwood Hillwood Hustlaz Hillwood Hustlaz Ii Ho Ho Horny Horny - Mousse Tvs Hot 'n' Juicy Horny + Sid Greenfield Argument Hot Lava Hubba Hubba Huboon Stomp Huboon Stomp - Devo Hurricane Of Change Hustle Town I Am Your Future I Can Change I Hate You Guys I Must Be High I Need A Sweet I Saw Three Ships I Swear It (I Can Change) - Violent Femmes I Wanna Know Her Name I'm A Little Bit Country I'm Super I'm Super - Big Gay Al Iatola If I Die Illegal Amigos Imprisonment [\ In My Hood In My Safe Space In The Ghetto (Cartman's Version) It Happened In Sun Valley It Happenned In Sun Valley It's A Rockin' World It's a Rockin' World - D.JBonebrake It's Easy Mmmkay Jackin' It In San Diego Jesus Baby Kanye West - Gay Fish Kenny Goes To Hell Kenny's Dead Kenny's Dead - Master P Kyle's Mom Is A Bitch (in D Minor) Kyle's Mom Is A Stupid Bitch Kyle's Mom's A B**ch Kyle's Mom's A Big Fat B**ch - Joe C Kyles Mom Is A Bitch La Resistance La Resistance (Medley) La Resistance Reprise (Mole\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Dea... Land of the Lost Latin Throne Latola Lemmiwink's Song Lemmiwinks Lemmiwinks' Quest Let's Fight Love Let's Fighting Love Let's Fight Love Lets Fighting Love Little Boy You're Going To Hell! Lobo Wanna Raise Lord Loco's Melody Los [Screwed] Love Gravy Love Gravy - Rick James Mafiosos Main Theme Make It Right Mary-go-round Medicine Meet Your Fate Mentally Dull [think Tank Remix] Mephesto And Kevin Mephisto And Kevin - Primus Mexican Heaven Mexican Radio Mi Ruka Minorities At My Waterpark Miss Perfect Moham Mitchell Montage Mountain Reprise Mountain Town Mountain Town (Reprise) Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo Mr. Hankey Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo: Early '50s... Mrhanky The Christmas Poo: Early '50s Recording Mrs. Landers Was A Health Nut My Feria Night Shift No Substitute Nowhere To Run O Canada - Geddy Lee And Alex Lifeson Of Rush O Holy Night O Tannenbaum Oh My My One of Those Nights Ooh Wee Peace Pipe Penitentiary Flow Penitentiary Flow (Chopped & Screwed) Power Moves Problemas Prostitute Song Queef Free Rainbow - Ween Real Gangsta Real Gangsta (Chopped & Screwed) Real Gangster Red Beams And Rice Reminisce Revenge Revenge! Riches To Rags (MMMKay) - Nappy Roots Riddla on Da Roof Rollin' Run Away [\ Runaway S.P. So Bastardly S.P. So Bastardly (Chopped & Screwed) Santa Claus Is On His Way Screens Falling Screwed Up Tape Series 3 Theme tune Sexual Harassment Panda Sexual Harassment Panda (correct) Shout Outz Shut Yo Face (uncle F**ka) - Trick Daddy Simultaneous Since Day 1 Skit Somethin' I Would Do Something About Mary Something About Mary (Chopped & Screwed) South Park Theme South Park Theme - Primus Special In Our Own Way SPM Diaries SPM Diaries (Chopped & Screwed) SPM vs. Los Stan's Song Stay On Your Grind Streets on Beats Styrofoam Cup Suck My Balls Mr. Garision Suckaz N Hataz Super - RuPaul Swiss Colony Beeflog Taco Flavoured Kisses Taco-Flavored Kisses (MegaMix) Tex to Cali Part 2 The Beach House The Beer Song The Canadian Prime Minister The Day Of Unity The Most Offensive Song Ever The Prostitute Song The Rainbow The Real Slim Shady The System Third Grade Throw Away Gats Thug Girl Time is Money Tonight Is Right For Love Twice Last Night Uncle F**ka Uncle Fucka Up There Valley Vote Or Die Wake up Wendy - Elton John Wake Up Wendy! Watch The Block Bleed We Ain't Goin' Nowhere We Did Dat We Three Kings Wendy's Cunt song West Coast, Gulf Coast, East Coast What The Hell Child Is This? What Would Brian Boitano Do 2 What Would Brian Boitano Do? What Would Brian Boitano Do? PtII - D.V.D.A. Whatever You Do When Devils Strike When Devils Strike (Chopped & Screwed) Where Has My Country Gone? Who's Over There Wiggy Wiggy Wiggy Wild Wild West - Cartman Will They Die 4 You? Will They Die 4 You? - Lil' Kim Wishing Tree Wizard Of Oz Woodson N Worthin Work For a Better Future You Know My Name You Know My Name (Remix)
Related Songs
Mephisto and Kevin - Primus
Mephisto And Kevin - TV Theme Songs
Dance Mephisto - Falco
Mephisto - Tormentor
Sinister Mephisto - Arch Enemy
III Ways to Epica - Kamelot
Down Down Down to Mephisto's Cafe...
A Feast for the Vain - Kamelot
Mephisto - Dead Can Dance
Mephisto - Subway To Sally
Mephisto - Subway To Sally
MEPHISTO - Crimson Ghosts
Mephisto - Strung Out
Kevin Carter - Manic Street Preachers
Measuring - Sesame Street
Tabula Rasa - Freundeskreis
Kevin - Pansy Division
Last Before The Storm - Gamma Ray
There's A Bear In The Woods - Johnny Cash
Why Is A Fire Engine Red - Johnny Cash
Red Carpet - Britney Spears
The Maelstrom Mephisto - Dimmu Borgir
On The Floor - U-Kiss
Mystery of Love [Instrumental][Mix] - Mephisto
Free Kevin Kjonaas - Goldfinger
Fuck KD (Kevin Durant Diss) - Lil B
Fuck KD (Kevin Durant Diss) - Lil' B
Love Coach - Ze:a
Good Guys Only Win In Movies - CC Catch
Racks On Racks - Kevin Cossom
Take Me Away - U-Kiss
Neverland - U-Kiss
Aftermaths - Ze:a
Kevin To Fall - S Club 7
Man Man Ha Ni - U-Kiss
As Long as He Lies Perfectly Still - Soft Machine
U're My Sweety - Ze:a
U're My Sweety - Ze:a
Free Kevin Jonas - Goldfinger
Muffin Man - Joe Jonas (Jonas Brothers)
Mephisto Waltz - Mephisto Walz
Mephisto Waltz - MISFITS
Stalker - U-Kiss
Even If I Close My Eyes - U-Kiss
Kevin - Th' Faith Healers
Kevin - The Lovely Bad Things
Kevin - Twothirtyeight
Kevin - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Kevin - Macklemore
Mephistopheles - Deicide
Heartless - U-Kiss
Tiny fires - Morby kevin
Loving Me Now - Ariez Onasis
Jada Fire - Kevin McCall
I Love It - Lonny Bereal
Tick Tack - U-Kiss
Turn Me On Feat Alison - Kevin Lyttle
Soulja Boy- The Jonas Brothers Remake...
What - U-Kiss
Blow Hard - MC Chris
British Justice - Leyton Buzzards
My Perfect Cousin - The Undertones
Man 2 Man - Ze:a
Playing Your Song - Hey Mercedes
Prosyletism Real - Sodom
Proctelytism Real - Sodom
Here I Am - Ze:a
Muffin Man - Joe Jonas
Favorite Girl - U-Kiss
Watch Out - Ze:a
Playground - U-Kiss
When Love Stops - U-Kiss
Mud - Kevin Gates
Back Of My Cab - Happyhead
Crank Dat Jonas Boy - Jonas Brothers
Faustus - Dark Moor
Raid The Convent - Nunslaughter
Supersonics...
She And Little Kevin - Box Office Poison
Die öffentliche Frau - Rosenstolz
Daily Daily - Ze:a
Soldier's Boy - Spirit Of The West
R.I.P. Kevin - Tru
Mondo Sinistro - Al Stewart
Binggeul Binggeul (Round And Round) - U-Kiss
The Ghost Of Wind - Ze:a
My Hearts - Jonas Brothers
Do What I Wanna Do - Promatic
Shadowseeds - Necrophobic
Feeling Myself (EP) - Pusha T
Glenda And The Test Tube Baby - Toy Dolls
Burnin' Up - Jonas Brothers
Mazeltov...
Mazeltov - Ze:a
Amazing - U-Kiss
She's Mine - U-Kiss
She Is Mine - Ukisseu
Silver Watch and Chain (Feat. Kevin Gordon) ...
Standing Still - Ukiss
Dedicated To Sabrina - Jonas Brothers
Dancing with Mephisto - Enigma
March Of Mephisto - Kamelot
Hush - Acappella
Love of a Friend - U-Kiss
Champions - Kevin Rudolf
Champion - Kevin Rudolf
Duflocka Rant Pt 2 Intro - Waka Flocka Flame
The Conjuring (Live) - Megadeth
Forbidden Love - U-Kiss
Respective Coasts - Craig Finn
She's Gone - Ze:a
She's Gone - Ze:a
Just a Touch - R.E.M.
B.T./A.C. - Anal Cunt
Kevin Gates - Roll Up - LA Leakers
Interlude By Kevin Coval - ProbCause
Kevin Gates- Sit Down - Digital Trapstars
Kevin Gates "Don't Know" - DJ Scream
Take It Slow - U-Kiss
Mojo - Kevin Gates
Beer Lease (w/Kevin Fowler) - Cameran Nelson
Blackheart Reigns - Emmure
Shooting Star (Party Rock Remix) - Lmfao
AD - All Yours Feat. Kevin McCall - LA Leakers
In Your Face (ft Kevin Rudolf) - Lil Wayne
Sacha Robotti & Kevin Knapp – Thump Bumper ...
Why? Wait Yo! - Ze:a
She’s Gone - Ze:a
With Spell Of Inferno - Behemoth
Kevin J.O'Toole - Street Dogs
Kevin Ayres - Gorky's Zygotic Mynci
Cousin Kevin - London Symphony Orchestra
Kevin Paccashio - Psapp
Kevin Decline - Baby Panda
Cousin Kevin - The Who
Cousin Kevin - Who
Kevin Barry - Hank Locklin
Cousin Kevin - Various Artists
Kevin Gates - Kevin Gates
Kevin Weaver - Bowling For Soup
Kevin Coyne - Bonnie Prince Billy
Friends To the End (feat. Kevin Gates)...
She Know ft. Kevin Gates (DatPiff Exclusive)...
0330 Remix - U-Kiss
Let Me Show You Love (Kevin McKay Remix) ...
Bet That Up Feat. Kevin Gates & Snootie Wild...
Blind Eyes - Samhain
Glass Half Empty - Jonatha Brooke
St. Satan's Day - Powerwolf
40 Shades Of Blue (For Kevin Wherever You Are)...
Earn Your Keep Feat. Loaded Lux, Fat Trel, & Kevin...
End Of The Road - U-Kiss
Thugs Fall - Ace Hood
Back Of My Cab (1:39) - Happy Head
Skin - Mephisto Waltz
Crash - Mephisto Odyssey
Tangia - Mephisto Walz
Dear Familiar Phantoms - Mephisto Walz
The Starveling - Mephisto Walz
Aegis - Mephisto Walz
A Gathering of the Elementals - Mephisto Walz
In the Room That Love Exists - Mephisto Walz
To the Schadows - Mephisto Walz
Am Sonntag - Mephisto Walz
Aegis Remains - Mephisto Walz
Facade (Closet of Faces) - Mephisto Walz
Silent Thunder - Mephisto Walz
Porcelain God - Mephisto Walz
Along the March - Mephisto Walz
Euphrosyne - Mephisto Walz
Thalia - Mephisto Walz
A Precession of the Equinoxes - Mephisto Walz
Joe Jonas Rap - Jonas Brothers
Kevin Nash Interview - Montell Jordan
Martha - Jack the Ripper
Te Amo - U-Kiss
Breathe - Ze:a
DA FUNK \/ DAFTENDIREKT - Daft Punk
Teachers - Daft Punk
0330 - U-Kiss
I Feel Like - 2 Chainz
The Lonliest Man In Town - Mic Christopher
Joe Jonas Rap - Joe Jonas (Jonas Brothers)
Doradora - U-Kiss
Let Me Rap - Paris Bennett
Theatrical Delirium - Beyond Creation
Move On - Wiz Khalifa
Flippin' off the Wall Like Lucy Ball - 3rd Bass
Flippin' Off The Wall Like Lucy Ball...
Cherokee Highway - Western Flyer
Cherokee Highway - Western Flyer
Kelly's Wellies - Gaelic Storm
Kelly's Wellie's - Gaelic Storm
In Your Face - Lil Wayne
Regress, No Way - 7 Seconds
In Your Face (Spit) - Lil Wayne
These Animal Menswear - Art Brut
These Animal Menswe@r - Art Brut
Dialectic - Deine Lakaien
