It's been one week since we got to seeCheatin' lovers and cousins that marryFive days since they had the showWith the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack hoThree days since we heard the taleAbout the guy who learned his woman was a she-maleYesterday it occurred to meThat I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry SpringerHoly cow, did you see it last week?Well, they had this one freakWho suckered punched his whole familyDo you recall when the brawl became a total free-for-allAnd Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the refereeHey, see the stripper with the implantsShe likes to lap dance and date the boyfriend of her motherNow here comes Jerry's next guest and it's a slugfest'Cause it's her trailer trash brotherNymphomaniac is back on crackIt's like 'When Animals Attack'They all exhibit reprehensible behaviorHit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothesStep on their toes, that's how it goesThey get so violent they have to sign a waiverThey're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt and pointin' blameOn the air they don't care, they've got no shameThere was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strangeWhen he found out that his wife had a sex changeThey have a tendency to scream and yell constantlyThey have a history of ripping off their shirtsIt's been one week since they had the fightWith the Siamese twins and the transvestiteFive days since that awful brawlThey still haven't got the blood off the wallIt's been three days since the bitter feudBetween the KKK and that gay Jewish black dudeYesterday, finally dawned on meI'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry SpringerBaby, I've been sleepin' with your sisterOh, which one?All of 'emOh, well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend JakeYeah, well, well me tooOh!And I've sleepin' with your dog WoofieWoofie, you bitch!Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goatThat goat doesn't love youOnce you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'Jerry's the king of confrontation, he's a sensationHe puts the 'sin' in syndicationIt's totally worthless, like a bad check, it's like a train wreckDon't wanna stare but you can't look awayLike Sally Jesse he does talk shows but with more weirdosThe ratings jumpin' higher everydayIf you've seen the show, well, then you knowIt's just as low as you can goThe guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygieneAnd pretty soon some ugly goonComes in the room and then it's 'boom'In the face of some unsuspecting drag queenWell, it's the kind of show where people scream obscenitiesYankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbiesJerry, Jerry, now the crowd starts their favorite chantShould I turn off my TV? I just can'tI have a tendency to watch it religiouslyI have a history of taping each oneIt's been one week since the show aboutPsycho killers with problems they should work outFive days since the big surprise, whenSome loser's wife said that she's still dating twenty guysThree days since he interviewed a bunch of psychicPorn star midgets who were all nudeYesterday, it occurred to meThat I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry SpringerTired of wastin' my time on that Jerry SpringerI've got way too much class to watch Jerry SpringerCome over here and pull on my finger
Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic
(This Song's Just) Six Words Long 1985 Food Medley - 01 - It's Moldy Now 1985 Food Medley - 02 - Doctor 1985 Food Medley - 03 - Steak Number 3 1985 Food Medley - 04 - Burger King 1985 Food Medley - 05 - Don't You Forget About Mea... 1985 Food Medley - 06 - Girls Just Want To Have Lu... 1985 Food Medley - 07 - The Rye And The Kaiser 1985 Food Medley - 08 - I Love Rocky Road 1985 Food Medley - 09 - Spameater 1985 Food Medley - 10 - I Feel Like Throwin' Up 1985 Food Medley - 11 - Avocado 1985 Food Medley - 12 - Whole Lotta Lunch 1985 Food Medley - 13 - Bologna A Complicated Song A Complicated Song (Parody of "Complicated" by Avr... Aardvark Achy Breaky Song Addicted To Spuds Airline Amy Albuquerque Alimony Alligator Alternative Polka American Slob Amish Paradise Amish Paradise (Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by ... Amish Paridise Amoeba Angry White Boy Polka Angry White Boy Polka (Medley) Another One Rides The Bus Another One Rides the Bus [Live] Another Tattoo Another Tattoo [Video] Attack Of The Radioactive Hampster From A Planet N Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N... Avocado Baby Got Jack Baby Likes Burping Barney's On Fire Barney's On Fire Bedrock Anthem Belvedere Cruising Bob Bob (best version) Bohemian Polka Bologna Bomb Sadam Born To Be Mild Buckingham Blues Burger King Buy Me A Condo Cable TV Cabletv Callin' In Sick Callin\' In Sick Callin' In Sick Canadian Idiot Canadian Idiot Cat's In The Kettle Cavity Search Cavity Search (Parody of "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss... Cheerios Apple Jacks Cheerios Cheerios, Apple Jacks, Cheerios Chewbacca What A Wookie Chicken Pot Pie Christmas At Ground Zero Christmas Memories Of 'Weird Al' Yankovic Christmas Memories Of "Weird Al" Yankovic Christmas Memories of & Quot;Weird Al & Qu... Christmas Memories Or Weird Al Yankovic Close but No Cigar Close But No Cigar CNR Cockroaches Cockroachs Confessions Part III Confessions Part III Confessions Part III Constipated Constipated (AAvril Lavigne "Complicated" parody) Couch Potato Cows With Guns Craigslist Crampton Comes Alive Dare To Be Stupid Dead Car Battery Blues Do I Creep You Out Do I Creep You Out Dog Eat Dog Don't Download This Song Don't Touch That Don't Wear Those Shoes Don't You Forget About Meat Don't Download This Song Don't Touch That Don't Wear Those Shoes Don't You Forget About Meat Dr. Demento Radio Promo Dr. Demento's 15Th Anniversary Special Dr. Demento's 15Th Anniversary Special E-Bay Eat It Eat It! Ebay Elmo's Got A Gun Everything You Know Is Wrong Fast Food Fat Fatter Finale First World Problems Flatbush Avenue Foil food medley as performed in 1985 - 01 food medley as performed in 1985 - 02 food medley as performed in 1985 - 03 food medley as performed in 1985 - 04 food medley as performed in 1985 - 05 food medley as performed in 1985 - 06 food medley as performed in 1985 - 07 food medley as performed in 1985 - 08 food medley as performed in 1985 - 09 food medley as performed in 1985 - 10 food medley as performed in 1985 - 11 food medley as performed in 1985 - 12 food medley as performed in 1985 - 13 Frank's 2000' Tv Frank's 2000" Tv Frank's 2000\" TV Frank's 2000" Tv Free Delivery Fun Zone Gandhi Ii Gee, I'm A Nerd Gee, I'm A Nerd Generic Blues Genious In France Genius in France George Of The Jungle Germs Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch Girls Just Want to Have Lunch Good Enough For Now Good Old Days Gotta Boogie Grapefruit Diet Grapefruit Diet (Parody of "Zoot Suit Riot" By Che... Gravy On You Green Eggs & Ham Green Eggs And Ham Gump Gump (Parody of "Lump" by the Presidents of the Un... Handy Happy Birthday Hardware Store Harvey The Wonder Hamster Headline News Headline News (Version 2) Headline News (Version 3) Here's Johnny Here's Johnny Hit Me With A Rock Holiday Greetings 1987 Holiday Greetings 1988 Homer & Marge Homer And Marge Hooked On Polkas Hooker On A Corner Hooker On Corner Hummingbirds I Can't Watch This I Can't Watch This I Feel Like Throwin' Up I Feel Like Throwin' Up I Hate Big Butts I Lost On Jeopardy I Love Rocky Road I Remember Larry I Think I'm A Clone Now I Think I'm A Clone Now I Want A New Duck I Want It That Way I Was Only Kidding I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead I'll Repair For You I'll Repair For You ( A Theme For Home Improvement... I'll Sue Ya I'm Fat I'm So Sick Of You I\'m So Sick Of You I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead I'll Repair For You I'll Sue Ya I'm So Sick Of You If I Could Make Love To A Bottle If That Isn't Love If That Isn't Love Iguana Im a Wigga Im The Only Gay Eskimo Inactive Introduction Introduction - Carnival Of The Animals Part Two Isle Thing It's All About The Pentiums It's All About the Pentiums (An Adaptation of "It'... It's Christmas At Ground Zero It's Moldy Now It's Still Billy Joel To Me It\'s All About The Pentiums It's All About The Pentiums It's Moldy Now It's Still Billy Joel To Me Its All About The Pentiums Jackson Park Express Jerry Springer Jurassic Park Kidstar 1250 Radio Promotion King Of Suede Lame Claim To Fame Lasagna Laundry Day Leisure Suit Serenade Let Me Be Your Hog Let's Bomb Iraq Like A Surgeon Livin' In The Fridge Living With A Hernia Llama Song Make My Boobies 1 More Size Make My Boobies One More Size Matter Of Crust Melanie Midnight Star Midnight Star [*] Mission Statement Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Money For Nothing, Beverly Hillbillies Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies Mr Frump In The Iron Lung Mr Popiel Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung Mr. Popeil My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder My Baby\'s In Love With Eddie Vedder My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder My Bologna My Own Eyes Nature Trail To Hell Never Met A Person As Wonderful As Me Night Santa Went Crazy Nobody Here But Us Frogs Now That's What I Call Polka NOW That's What I Call Polka! Now That's What I Call Polka Ode to a Superhero One More Minute One Of Those Days Pac Man Pacman Pancreas Pancreas Party at the Leper Colony Party In The CIA Party In The CIA Perform This Way Phoney Calls Phony Calls Phony Calls (Parody of "Waterfalls" by TLC) Pigeons Please Don't Wear Your Thong (Thong Song Parody) Polka Face Polka Face Polka Face Polka Party Polka Party! Polka Party! Polka Patterns Polka Power! Polka Your Eyes Out Polkamon Polkarama! Polkas On 45 Poodle Pretty Fly For A Rabbi Pretty Fly For A Rabi RealRadio 104.1 Rice, Rice Baby Ricky Ringtone Rocky Road Rye Or The Kaiser School Cafeteria - Version 1 School Cafeteria - Version 2 Shark She Drives Like Crazy She Never Told Me She Was A Mime Since You're Been Gone Since You've Been Gone Since You've Been Gone - Live Since You\'ve Been Gone Since You've Been Gone Six Words Long Skipper Dan Slime Creatures From Outer Space Smells Like Nirvana Smoke A Bowl Smoke A Bowl (Coca Cola Parody) Snack All Night Snails Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut Spam Spameater Spatula City Sports Song Spy Hard Spy Hard (theme From The Motion Picture Spy Hard) Star Wars Cantina Star Wars Copa Cabana Star Wars Gangsta Rap Star Wars Gangster Rap Star Wars: The Saga Begins Steak Number 3 Stop Draggin' My Car Around Stop Draggin' My Car Around Stop Dragging My Car Around Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White Such A Groovy Guy Syndicated Inc. Syndicated Inc. (Parody of "Misery" by Soul Asylum... Tacky Taco Grande Take Me Down Take Me To The Liver Take The "L" Out Of Liver Talk Soup That Boy could Dance The Alternative Polka The Backwards Section From Nature Trail To Hell The Ballad Of Kent Marlow The Beer Song The Beverly Hillbillies Miss You The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota The Brady Bunch The Check's In The Mail The Check's In The Mail The Devil Went Down To Jamaica The Hot Rocks Polka The Jedi song The Night Santa Went Crazy The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory Version) The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory) The Plumbing Song The Rye And The Kaiser The Saga Begins The Saga Begins (american Pie Adaptiton) The Saga Begins (Lyrical Adaption of "American Pie... The Weird Al Show Theme The White Stuff The Yoda Chant Theme From Rocky XIII Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye or the Kaiser) Theme from Rocky XIII (The Rye or the Kaiser) This Is The Life Title of The Song in Question TMZ TMZ Toothless People Traffic Jam Trapped in the Drive-Thru Trapped In The Drive-Thru Trapped in the Drive-Thru Trash Day Trash Day (Parody of "Hot in Herre" by Nelly) Trigger Happy Truck Drivin' Song Truck Drivin\' Song Truck Drivin' Song TV Tan Twister Ugly Girl Ugly Girl (Barbie Girl Parody) Ugly Irl UHF UHF [Single Version] Unicorn Velvet Elvis Virus Alert Vulture Waffle King Walking Around In Women's Underwear Wanna B Ur Lovr Wannabe Stromtrooper We Got The Beef We're All Gay (backstreet Boys) Weasel Stomping Day Weasel Stomping Day Weenie In A Bottle Weird Al - Pretty Fly For A Rabbi What If God Smoked Cannabis Whatever You Like When I Was Your Age Which Backstreet Boy is Gay White & Nerdy White & Nerdy White & Nerdy White And Nerdy Whole Lotta Lunch Why Does This Always Happen To Me? Windows 95 Sucks! With Legs Wide Open Won't Eat Prunes Again Word Crimes Yo!!! This Is A Digrace Yoda Yoda Chant You Don't Love Me Anymore You Don't Take Your Showers You Don't Love Me Anymore You Light Up My Life You Make Me You're Pitiful Young, Dumb & Ugly Young, Dumb & Ugly Young, Dumb, and Ugly your horoscope 4 today Your Horoscope For Today
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