Tonight at 10
The world is ending again
And we know why and when
So you better watch
We got a bit with some feminist chick
And also a picture of a starlet's crotch!
Two people died, a double homicide
Their bodies found inside
Of a wishing well
And we tackle the flaws
In these obesity laws
In this segment that's sponsored
By Taco Bell
We've got violence, danger, sex, and drugs
And it's awesome cause all of it's real!
We do the illusion of news and while you think you're choosing the views
That you feel...
All of this and more and live
Only on the Channel 5 News!
Only on the Channel 5 News!
(We've got Chip Walker, live at the scene, with breaking news! Chip are you there?)
Chip Walker here
Am I coming in clear?
I'm standing near
To the scene of the crime
This Iraqi guy's shop
Seemed a newsworthy spot
So we've been gathering shots here for quite some time
Today, real fast
The owner's daughter passed
We grabbed a shot of her ass
While the owner was near
Then he struck my chest
And now he's under arrest
And now you people have one less
Man to fear
This family's angry, crying, sad, and lost
And it's awesome, cause all of it's real!
I do the illusion of news and while you think you're choosing the views that you feel...
More as this develops live
Only on the Channel 5 News!
(We go now to Max Stevens, with the weather for the weekend
What are we looking at here, Max: umbrellas or picnic baskets?
Max? Max?!
We're experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by
Alright, we got a signal. Cut to Max)
Good evening, hi
It's your weather guy
I advise you to buy
Another lightning rod
We didn't catch
This impending disaster
Maybe it's natural, maybe it's God
The sliding mud
The incoming flood
Will never wash the blood
From my greedy old hands!
This job was fun, I had a pretty good run
But I've never been one to give in to demands!
People are angry, crying, sad, and lost
And it's awful cause all of it's real!
We do the illusion of news and while you think you're choosing the views that you feel...
All of this and more and live
Only on the Channel 5
Only on the Channel 5
Only-only-on
Channel 5 News: The Musical (studio)
Bo Burnham
Purchase "Channel 5 News: The Musical (studio)"
Purchase Entire Album
Email Video to Friends Play Youtube "Channel 5 News: The Musical (studio)" Video
Play Spotify "Channel 5 News: The Musical (studio)" Song
View Wikipedia "Channel 5 News: The Musical (studio)"
Entry
Receive Emails for Future Bo Burnham Lyrics
Link to "Channel 5 News: The Musical (studio)"
Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
See Recommended Lyrics For You
Share:
Copied!
Loading...
Lyrics by Bo Burnham
#Deep 3.14 Apple Pi A Prayer A Prayer/How Do We Fix Africa? Andy The Frog Are You Happy? Art is Dead Binary Reality Bo Fo Sho Channel 5 News: The Musical Eff Eff (Studio) Ex-Girlfriend Ex-Girlfriend/Racial Humor From God's Perspective From God's Perspective H.O.A.R Haikus Haikus/Sonnet/Shakespeare Hashtag Deep Hell Of A Ride Hell of a Ride (Studio) High School Party I F--k Sl--ts I Fuck Sluts I'm Bo Yo Im Bo Yo Intro Ironic Klan Kookout Left Brain, Right Brain Love Ballad Love Is... Men & Woman My My Whole Family Nerds Nerds (Studio) New Math New Math [Live] Oh Bo One Man Shows Out of the Abyss Perfect Woman Poems Quantum Mechanics Rant Rehab Center For Fictional Characters Repeat Stuff Repeat Stuff (Studio) Sad Sluts Straight White Male The Perfect Woman Theoretical Dick Jokes Traditional Stand-Up WDIDLN? We Think We Know You Welcome To YouTube What's Funny What's Funny Words Words Words Words, Words, Words Words, Words, Words [Studio]
Related Songs
What Channel - Keri Hilson
Nine2Five - Ordinary Boys
Somewhere in the Night - André Campagnani
Somewhere in the Night - André Campagnani
9 To 5 Lady Sovereign Vs The Ordinary Boys Remix...
Women Turn On Your T.V. - Dr Octagon
True Lies - Mekong Delta
T.V. Dinner - Kid Rock
TV Dinner - Kid Rock
Pronto - Freddie Gibbs
She Watch Channel Zero?! - Public Enemy
Spiritual Small Guy - Ninety Pound Wuss
Traffic And Weather - Fountains Of Wayne
John Mayer Call Me The Breeze is track #5 from the...
Circus Souvenir - Tyga
Christina Aguilera Let's Find Out is a song from h...
The Legend of Simon and Milo - Prozzak
T.V. News - Living Colour
Azealia Banks Soda is a single from the Harlem rap...
I Need a Beat - L.L. Cool J
I Need A Beat - LL Cool J
Channel 5 Theme - Spice Girls
Power of Five - Spice Girls
I Need A Beat [Remix] - LL Cool J
Channel 5 Theme Song - Spice Girls
Big Brother - Sakis Rouvas
News At 6 O'Clock - ICP (Insane Clown Posse)
News At 6 O'clock - Insane Clown Posse
Rihanna Loud from the same titled album "LOUD!" to...
You Or Me - Dream Theater
5: 01 Blues - Merle Haggard
501 Blues - Haggard Merle
5:01 Blues - Merle Haggard
Time To Die - The Dodos
Bad News (Remix) - Kanye West
Bad News - Kanye West
Channels - Stray Bullets
Always On - The A.K.A.s
(credits) - Death
Channel Orange - Frank Ocean
Quit That Hell Hole - Army Of Freshmen
That Ain't Nothin' - Fred Hammond
White Noise - Atmosphere
Discovery Channel - Bloodhound Gang
Hello - Jack Ingram
Good News - Petra
Channel 4 - A Global Threat
Down In The Studio - Lil Wayne
Call Me No. 5 - Paul Weller
Call Me No.5 - Paul Weller
9 To 5 ft. The Ordinary Boys - Lady Sovereign
9 to 5 [Original Version] - Lady Sovereign
Keyed - Brandy
The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang
9 To 5 - Lady Sovereign
9 To 5 Jme Remix - Lady Sovereign
Dwarf Documentary - Simon Bookish
Perience - The Moon - X
Fight Of A Suburban Couple - Smile Empty Soul
9 to 5 Tony Senhore's Sleepwalker Vocal Mix...
9 to 5 Tony Senghore's Gosh Darn It! Dub...
Octopus Blues - Sesame Street
The Moon - X-Perience
Warzone - Action
Warzone - The Action
Teleprompt - My First Earthquake
Cup Noodle Song - Pineforest Crunch
Sofa Series - Serenaide
Alien Workshop - Ill Bill
Kill It - R.A. the Rugged Man
I Miss You - X-Y
Legion - Junkie XL
Gimme a Knife - Wavves
If You Knew What It Took - Future
Cassadee Pope Wasting All These Tears is the offic...
More News at 11 - Public Enemy
Tarzan And Jane - Sparks
Fantastic Voyage - Classic Addict
Fantastic Voyage - Lakeside
Dirty Bombs - Body Count
On The Dole - Sicko
Channel Hell (Deathproof Remix) - Angelspit
Nothing Left To Do - Alan Jackson
Domino - Pizzicato Five
John Mayer Who You Love is a song from his new alb...
Channel - The Owls
Farewell, Farewell To Love - Frank Sinatra
More News at 11 [Extended Gary G-Wiz Mega Bomb]...
Break The Chains - Gangrel
Emergency - Dungeon Family
Haley Reinhart Oh My is a new song from her debut ...
Hillwood Hustlaz - South Park Mexican
Peace Connecticut - Apathy
Fearless - Keisha Buchanan
Please Don't Touch - Hackett Steve
Remind You - Jandek
Sitcom - Coleman Hell
Pretty People - Billy Bob Thornton
Just A To Touch - Lil' Wayne
The Channel - Limp Bizkit
Little Bit Frightening - Wanderers
Soundwaves - The Microphones
I'm Not Fooled - UB40
I'm Not Fooled So Easily - UB40
I'm Not Fooled So Easily - UB40
Get It Up - Ronnie Milsap
Creepin - Alex Wiley
Musical Heatwave - Dennis Brown
Bruno Mars Welcome Back is his contribution to the...
At Last - Beyonce Knowles
Lady Gaga Justice with the lyrics "No justice give...
Kendrick Lamar Partynauseous is a duet with Lady G...
Cable Through Your Heart - Bryan Scary
Daft Punk Give Life Back To Music feat. Nile Rodge...
30 Seconds To Mars Birth from the album "Love Lust...
Sign Your Name - Sheryl Crow
Memories - Eisley
Steve Doocy - Clutch
Roman's Prayer\/Roman In Moscow - Nicki Minaj
My Hands - David Archuleta
Mad Dogs On A Bone - Alice Donut
Breaking Free - Zac Efron And Vanessa Hudgens
What Lurks On Channel X - Rob Zombie
"Nothing Was The Same" is the title of Drake's 201...
Doctor Jeep - The Sisters Of Mercy
Doctor Jeep - Sisters Of Mercy
Doctor Jeep (Extended Version) (Bonus Track)...
Daily Planet - Guided By Voices
(Give Me) News I Can Use - John Kay & Steppenwolf
Give Me News I Can Use - Steppenwolf
Give Me News I Can Use - John Kay
Give Me Some News I Can Use - John Kay
(Give Me) News I Can Use - Steppenwolf
The Monster Is Loose - Meat Loaf
What Lurks on Channel X? - Rob Zombie
Lookin' Back - Bob Seger
Dead On Impact - Primary Colors
1972 - Josh Rouse
Coldplay Oceans is track #7 on the band's new albu...
Eminem Parking Lot Track 2 on 'The Marshall Mather...
Father Author, Poor Pauper - Canibus
Announcements from Preservation Act II - kinks
Announcement - Kinks
Rihanna Baby Brown Eyes Unreleased song. Rihanna r...
Ahora Solo Es Un Bello Recuerdo - Five
Ahora Solo Es Un Bello Recuerdo - 5Ive
Disaster Proof - T. Hardy Morris
knee play 5 - Philip Glass
Jordan - - Dream
Jordan - (interlude) - D:Ream
Jordan - - Dreams
Brain Spiller - One Minute Silence
Brainspiller - One Minute Silence
Frank Ocean Wildfire Off of John Mayer's album 'Pa...
Stupid Remix - Lil' Wayne
Fortunate Son - Bob Seger
Flustered/Hey Tomcat! - Death Cab For Cutie
Flustered\/Hey Tomcat - Death Cab For Cutie
It's a Musical World - Anthony Newley
David Kelley, TV Warrior - DVDA
Dies Irae - The Roots
Mya Rear View Mirror is a new song featuring Sean ...
The Musical - I Set My Friends On Fire
MsWallace (Outro) - Notorious B.I.G.
Ms. Wallace - Notorious B.I.G.
Ms. Wallace (Outro) - Notorious B.I.G.
Robin Thicke - Rick Ross
In Memory of... - Max Cavalera
In the Memory of.... - Soulfly
In Memory Of... - Soulfly
Put Your Face In The Bag - Keri Hilson
Star Pilot On Channel K - S.P.O.C.K
$5 Man - Kevin Mckinney
Kanye West That Shit Crazy is a new track included...
Cry - Tiffany Evans
People - Ludacris
Gone Too Soon - Usher
I Heard Somethin - Lil' Wayne
Studio Luv - T PAIN
Studio Luv - T-Pain
Be still my beating off - Frenzal Rhomb
Mercury - Brave Saint Saturn
Studio Luv (Remix) - T-Pain
TV Is the Thing This Year [Alternate Take][#][*]...
TV Is the Thing - Dinah Washington
T.V. Is the Thing This Year - Dinah Washington
This Is Always - Dinah Washington
Musical - Shelby Sifers
TV Is the Thing This Year - Dinah Washington
Studio Luv (Remix) - T PAIN
Discovery Channel - Pretty Ricky
Studio Luv - T-Wayne
Judgement Day - Jah Works
Channel Zero - VAST
Big Mess - Lucinda Williams
Lesson 6: The Lecture - Jurassic 5
Soda Pop - Transport
Lunar - David Guetta
