One Man Shows
Bo Burnham

I'm 19 years old, I'm a young comedian
I hate that term, young comedian, you know
I prefer prodigy
And people, they pigeonhole me as a comic
You know, which is so disingenuous 'cause I'm not a comic, I'm an artist
And I don't do comedy shows, I do one man shows
And I've been doing them, uh
1998 was actually my first one man show
It was a show about Jews in Nazi Germany called Under the Floor Boards
I'll do a scene from that, uh, right now
No no no
Watch and then judge
This is a scene from Under the Floor Boards
Hey, shh

And then '99
'99, I did a show called The Catholic Orgasm, I'll do a scene from that
(Moaning)
(Sobbing)

2000, I did a piece called The Inappropriate Musician, I'll do a scene from that
Mike
Mike, back off the ledge, Mike, th-
Mike, think about your kids, do you want them to grow up without a father, is that what you want, Mike! Mi-
Please listen to me, I'm your friend
No, Mike, no!
(Slide whistle down)
(Slide whistle up)
He's saved

2001, I did John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath
Except I adapted it into a story about an intergalactic sexuel predator called The Rapes of Grath

2002, I did a piece, if you're familiar with The Elephant Man
I did a piece based off that called Bulldog Man (Voice cracks when he says man)
Oh, also known as Bulldog Man (Says man properly) for those who hit puperty
And I uh
I'll do a monologue from that right now
(Silence)
(Laughter)
For those listening on the CD, I kind of look like a bulldog

2003, 4? 3. Doesn't matter, I'm lying
2000-
2004, I did a piece called Smйagol, from Lord of the Rings, Having Sex with a Black Chick, I'll do that
(Moaning as Smйagol)
Precious
I actually got a Danza nomination for that, it was
Right after the Tony's

2000, uh, 5
2005, if I could get a blackout for this, I did a piece Charlie Brown Getting Molested, so if we could blackout right now
Hello?
Is anybody here?
(Unintelligible trombose noises a la Peanuts cartoon)
What the fuck are you doing! Let go of me!
(Unintelligible trombone noises)
Good grief

So, 2000, uh, bring the lights up
2007
2007, I did a piece called The Juggler's Wife, I'll do a scene from that
Please
Stop JUGGLING!

2008, I did a
Bit of controversial piece because I played a slave in the 1780's, but I didn't wear make-up
'Cause I feel as, you know, an artist I'm qualified to tell any story, and uh
It was a piece called Whiplashes and this was the climactic scene
It is hard, raw art, so if you're adverse to that, you might want to look away
But this is, um, the climatic scene from Whiplashes and I hope you enjoy it
You'll have to answer to God for this
(Whip crack)
Ow
Ow
Ow
Ow
Ow
Ow
Ow
Ow
... You're a dick

Amd then, uh, 2000-
... 9, which is the last year before the piece I'm doing currently
I did a piece called, it's a very emotional piece, it means a lot to me so forgive me if I break down
But this is a, uh, a scene from it and the piece was called A Boy and His Dog
Get out of here, alright?
Go, I can't afford to keep you anymore, I just
I can't, it's too
Please don't make this harder than it has to be, I
I hate you, is that what you need to hear from me?
Alright, I hate you
I hate you!
It's not just me
My dog hates Mexicans too

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Lyrics by Bo Burnham

#Deep 3.14 Apple Pi A Prayer A Prayer/How Do We Fix Africa? Andy The Frog Are You Happy? Art is Dead Binary Reality Bo Fo Sho Channel 5 News: The Musical Channel 5 News: The Musical (studio) Eff Eff (Studio) Ex-Girlfriend Ex-Girlfriend/Racial Humor From God's Perspective From God's Perspective H.O.A.R Haikus Haikus/Sonnet/Shakespeare Hashtag Deep Hell Of A Ride Hell of a Ride (Studio) High School Party I F--k Sl--ts I Fuck Sluts I'm Bo Yo Im Bo Yo Intro Ironic Klan Kookout Left Brain, Right Brain Love Ballad Love Is... Men & Woman My My Whole Family Nerds Nerds (Studio) New Math New Math [Live] Oh Bo Out of the Abyss Perfect Woman Poems Quantum Mechanics Rant Rehab Center For Fictional Characters Repeat Stuff Repeat Stuff (Studio) Sad Sluts Straight White Male The Perfect Woman Theoretical Dick Jokes Traditional Stand-Up WDIDLN? We Think We Know You Welcome To YouTube What's Funny What's Funny Words Words Words Words, Words, Words Words, Words, Words [Studio]

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