Walkin’ my poodles, man it never gets oldnwith my dogs on my leash I got bitches on the hold,na first aids kit? That’s a rhesus monkey,nI bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie!nGet more ass than a giant donkey stable,ngot more lines than Whitney Houston's coffee table,nI get more head than grammar school lice,nI'm like a Walkin’ glacier I'm so decked out with ice.nnDid you poop a virgin? Cause that shit is tight.nJack ain't black, Barry ain't white.nI do drugs in the bedroom, lie on your backn‘cause i got the pipe and you got the crack.nThough I'm sexually straight, your bound to find,nI'm mentally gay, cause I'll blow your mind.nThe parents be snickerin’, He shouldn’t have written itnbut i'm constipated, couldn’t give a shit.nnCHORUS:nMy name is Bo Fo' Sho',na born Bostonian,nAryan librarian at the WORDsmithsoniannthe rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity,nI gave it this little part to give it continuity.nnThe fellas sayn“hey moron pass the gin”n‘cause I'm an OXYmoron breathing OXYgenngive me the bottle, I'll chug two thirdsn‘cause you bitches know fractions speak louder than words.nnAnd the ladies sayn“hey fellas, i'm keepin’ it tight and if you play your cards right you can have me tonight.”nShould I blow you or beat you, brass or percussion?nOh stop, PERIOD end of discussion.nnCHORUS…nnWalking through the garden with food at my feet, picked up the celery but dropped the beat (beet).nnWe're in the hood I’ll take what you give menwas Einstein's theory good...relatively.nA smart queen's kingdumb, it doesn’t mix,na litter of literates, a bunch of moby dicks.nGet thee to a punnery o-just to-pheeliantake you with a condomn stainless-steal ya.nHalf a pound of turkey breast, half a pound of chicken tits,nwhy are only crackers staying at the Ritz?nPoverty, racism, isn't it strange,nthat only the homeless are beggin’ for change?nI shocked SherlocknWhat, son? (watson) (watt, son?)nRosa Parks didn’t call shotgun!”nHere's a bit of ironyna Ford Focus driver has ADD.nHow'd I come to master all these things?nLike a tampon thief, I had to pull some strings.
Bo Fo' Sho'
Bo Burnham
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Lyrics by Bo Burnham
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