The President's Penis Is Missing
Drive-By Truckers

They looked in the White House and Capitol Hill

They looked everywhere for Buffalo Bill

We called every scholar, reporter and genius

Has anyone seen the President's penis?


It ain't in the White House or Judiciary

It ain't in the Smithsonian or that big ole library

An astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus

Has anyone seen the President's penis?


The President's penis is missing, ole

We searched high and low, every night, everyday

Lord, won't You come down and redeem us

Has anyone seen the President's penis?


Now Presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways

In the 80's we elected one or two missing their brains

And George Washington caught a cold, he couldn't quite explain

We all just learned the truth about Thomas Jefferson's name


And Franklin D. Roosevelt wasn't no square

With that raging Woodrow in his wheelchair

And all the lesbians snickered that Elenore didn't care


And John Kennedy's penis was seen everywhere


The President's penis is missing, ole

We searched high and low, every night, everyday

Lord, won't You come down and redeem us

Has anyone seen the President's penis?


Them outer space people would laugh if they'd seen us

All this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus

Meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness

But we're more concerned with the President's penis


The President's penis is missing, ole

We searched high and low, every night, everyday

Lord, won't You come down and redeem us

Has anyone seen the President's penis?


Lord, won't You come down and redeem us

Has anyone seen the President's penis?


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Lyrics by Drive-By Truckers

  (It's Gonna Be)/I Told You So   (Somebody's Got To) Give Pretty Soon   14-Feb   18 Wheels of Love   3 Dimes Down   72 (This Highway's Mean)   A Blessing And A Curse   A Ghost To Most   A World Of Hurt   After The Scene Dies   Aftermath USA   Angels And Fuselage   Assholes   Birmingham   Birthday Boy   Bob   Box of Spiders   Bulldozers and Dirt   Buttholeville   Careless   Carl Perkins' Cadillac   Carl Perkins' Cadillac   Cartoon Gold   Cassie's Brother   Check Out Time In Vegas   Cottonseed   Daddy Learned To Fly   Daddy Needs A Drink   Daddy's Cup   Daddy's Little Pumpkin   Dancin' Ricky   Danko / Manuel   Darkened Flags on the Cusp of Dawn   Daylight   Days of Graduation   Dead, Drunk, and Naked   Decoration Day   Demonic Possession   Do It Yourself   Drag The Lake Charlie   Drive-By Truckers A World of Hurt   Easy On Yourself   Everybody Needs Love   Eyes Like Glue   Filthy and Fried   First Air of Autum   First Air of Autumn   George Jones Talkin' Cell Phone Blues   Get Downtown   Go-Go Boots   Goddamn Lonely Love   Goodbye   Goode's Field Road   Goode's Field Road (Alternate Version)   Goode’s Field Road   Grand Canyon   Grandpa Rock City   Gravity's Gone   Gravity's Gone (Remix)   Gravity's Gone   Gravity’s Gone   Greenville to Baton Rouge   Guitar Man Upstairs   Hanging On   Hearing Jimmy Loud   Heathens   Hell No, I Ain't Happy   Hell No, I Ain’t Happy   Home Field Advantage   I Do Believe   I'm Sorry Huston   Late for Church   Let There Be Rock   Life in the Factory   Like A Rolling Stone   Lisa's Birthday   Little Bonnie   Little Pony & The Great Big Horse   Little Pony and the Great Big Horse   Loaded Gun in the Closet   Lookout Mountain   Love Like This   Made Up English Oceans   Mama Bake A Pie (Daddy Kill A Chicken)   Margo and Harold   Marry Me   Mercy Buckets   Monument Valley   Moved   Mrs. Claus' Kimono   Mrs. Dubose   My Sweet Annette   Natural Light   Natural Light (Alternative First Take Recording)   Never Gonna Change   Nine Bullets   One of These Days   Opening Act   Outfit   Panties In Your Purse   Pauline Hawkins   Perfect Timing   Plastic Flowers On The Highway   Play It All Night Long   Primer Coat   Pulaski   Purgatory Line   Puttin' People On the Moon   Putting People On the Moon   Ray's Automatic Weapon   Rebels   Road Cases   Ronnie and Neil   Sandwiches for the Road   Santa Fe   Self Destructive Zones   Shit Shots Count   Shut Up and Get on the Plane   Sink Hole   Sounds Better in the Song   Space City   Steve Mcqueen   Sun Don't Shine   Surrender Under Protest   Than Man I Shot   The Boys From Alabama   The Buford Stick   The Company I Keep   The Day John Henry Died   The Deeper In   The Fireplace Poker   The Flying Wallendas   The Fourth Night Of My Drinking   The Home Front   The Living Bubba   The Man I Shot   The Monument Valley   The Night G.G. Allin Came To Town   The Opening Act   The Part of Him   The Purgatory Line   The Righteous Path   The Sands of Iwo Jima   The Southern Thing   The Thanksgiving Filter   The Three Great Alabama Icons   The Tough Sell   The Weakest Man   The Wig He Made Her Wear   This Fucking Job   Three Dimes Down   Til He's Dead or Rising   Till He’s Dead or Rises   Too Much Sex (Too Little Jesus)   Tornadoes   Trying to Be The Boss   Two Daughters And A Beautiful Wife   Uncle Frank   Uncle Frank (Alternate Version)   Uncle Frank [Alternate Take]   Used To Be A Cop   Wallace   Wednesday   What It Means   When He's Gone   When He’s Gone   When the Pin Hits the Shell   When The Well Runs Dry   When Walter Went Crazy   Where the Devil Don't Stay   Where the Devil Don’t Stay   Where's Eddie   Why Henry Drinks   Wife Beater   Women Without Whiskey   You And Your Crystal Meth   You Got Another   Your Daddy Hates Me   Zip City   Zoloft

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