(spoken)nI had a lot to say, and the phone rang, and I answered it, and I was talking, and I forgot it all, I forgot it all again.nnThe noose is tightening, and there's nowhere to run. There's no way to hide, and I'm scared. The news is frightening, and there's nothing to do, and I feel all this doom and despair.nnAnd I have so much mail to answer. I'm sorry, everybody, but I'm so hot. And a few months ago, I was so cold. And the rest of the time, the weather was so nice. I felt so good. I had to go out and play.nnI don't know what to say. I'm sorry, everybody. Really, I am. Please forgive me.nnI feel so stupid. Stupid, stupid boy. Go home, stupid boy. Go to sleep. Nobody cares. Kill yourself. Nobody cares, nobody cares, nobody cares.nnStupid green words on my computer screen don't say nothing, nothing to nobody. Cigarette after cigarette. Close my eyes. Try to take a trip, but I feel like I'll never get there. Yeah, I feel like I'll never get there. What a long, lonesome road. Loneliness, alone. Where is the sun? Is it going to be dark like this forever?nnI wanna go to the beach, jump into the blood and swim. Oh, it's pouring out of me so thick, so warm, so me. What a wonderful feeling. It's coming, it's coming. If only I could believe. If only I could believe in it. If only I could believe in you, believe in me, believe in you.nnI took a holiday, three weeks on the beach overlooking an ocean of blood, a sea of despair, purified myself in the cleansing waters and felt one with the Absolute. The absolute pain, the absolute brain, the absolute fear, the absolute here, the absolute there, the absolute despair, the absolute fun, the absolute one.nnI saw myself looking, I heard myself hearing, I felt myself feeling again. I remembered being a little boy wandering, wondering why. And I was high, oh God, I was trippin' on caffeine and nicotine. I felt almost pure and I'm sure I can do it again and again and again.