Lately, I've seen red, I've tasted blood
I've killed with words, I've wished and hoped
And swam through a river of snot
Twice as wide as the mighty Mississippi
But I wanna know about the commercial I saw on TV
An Irish guy walking through a field of green
Whistling one of those Irish jigs
And a woman walks up and says
Manly yes, but I like it too
Then the guy pulls out a huge knife
And cuts off his first two fingers
And somehow catches them
In what's left of his left hand
And hands them to the woman
Did I mention they're both dressed in green?
They, they both sing this song together
Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?
Are ya hot as anything?
Hey, cut off two of your fingers
And stab yourself in the eye
Then he stabs himself in the eye
And hands her the knife
And she stabs herself in the eye, okay? Okay?
So what about that?
Then they join arms and do this Irish folk dance
While taking turns dismembering each other
This was a commercial for deodorant, I think
Or soap or something
So now all the body parts are lying in a heap
But the heads are still singing
Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?
Are ya hot as anything?
Hey, get away from summer
And cut off all your limbs
Then all of the body parts
Start hopping and bopping around like little bunny rats
Then they jump into the mouths of the singing heads
But then they just slip right back out
Through the severed necks and keep bopping about
It's very beautiful music that's playing
There's an Irish flute and a mandolin, I think
And the background singers sound
Just like the Clancy brothers
It's really a wonderful commercial
Spectacular, it must of cost a fortune to make
The kind of commercial you'd see
During the Super Bowl, maybe
Where the advertising time costs
A million dollars a half a minute
Wow, imagine that
A million dollars for a half a minute
Anyway, by the end of it
It looks like the two of them have been through a juicer
Or a food processor or a blender or something
It's just a pink puree of blood
Bone and flesh in a big bucket
But it's still singing somehow
Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?
Are ya hot as anything?
Hey, blend yourself, process yourself
Become a glass of animal juice
Haven't you had enough
Of fruit juices and vegetable juices?
Next time company comes over
Offer them a cool refreshing glass of yourself
Give of yourself
Stop being such a selfish piece of snot
Okay? Okay? Okay
And now, back to our program
Commercial
King Missile
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Lyrics by King Missile
(Why Are We) Trapped? A Good Hard Look All Things Everywhere And Another Political Poem Antimatter At Dave's Betrayal Takes Two Bloodletting Brains Will Explode Cheesecake Truck Chickens Clamsauce Clarity Transcending Choice Columbus Day Weekend Come Closer Damned If I Know Delores Despair Detachable Penis Dick Eating People Ed Empty Enjoy Your Tea Everybody Screams Inside Failure Farm Fish Fluting On The Hump Fourthly Francis Bacon Frightened And Freezing Garbage Party Gary And Melissa Get Down with the Funky Shit Get Into It (Roll Around in It) Glass Good Things Happiness Happy Hour Happy Note He Needed Heaven Heavy Holy Man Hemopheliac Of Love Hemophiliac of Love How Much Longer How To Remember Your Dreams I Dare to Hope I Wish I'm Sorry If Only Jesus Was Way Cool Jim Juniper Dog Knowledge Leather Clown Let's Have Sex Lies Life Listen To Me Lou Love You More Martin Scorsese Martin Scorsese (PG-13) Metanoia Monks Mr Johnson Mr. Pomerantz Mr. Story My Heart Is A Flower My Life My Lover My Personal Life Nietzsche Sneezes No Point Now Open Up Pain & Pleasure Phaedreaux Pickaxe Real Men Royal Lunch Scotland Sensitive Artist Sex With You She Didn't Want Shit Sink So Happy Socks Still the One Stonehenge Take Me Home That Old Dog The Absolute The Adventures of Planky The Birds The Blood Song The Box The Boy Made Out of Bone China The Bunny Who Wanted To Be A Rat The Chosen The Evil Children The Fish That Played The Ponies The God The Indians The Love Song The Miracle Of Childbirth The Neither World The Party The Sandbox The Spanish Armada The Story Of Willy The Trees The Way To Salvation These People Things To Walk Among The Pigs Tour Diary: Louisville Up My Ass Water What If When She Closed Her Eyes Wind-Up Toys Wuss Ww3 Is A Giant Ice Cream Cone
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