(sung)
Phaedreaux was sad and dejected, bereft and broken, unspoken for, unable to think for himself or dream of better times or to see any point in going on at all
(On at all)
So Phaedreaux went walking along the path of hopeless hope that he once had discovered as a child before his illusions were shattered and scattered and smothered and covered and chunked and topped
The road was long and barren and dark and mysterious and foreboding, and every and any adjective that suggests gloomy occluded bleakness could serve as an accurate description of this road
(This road, this road, this road, this road)
But Phaedreaux knew deep inside his deepest heart of hearts that before his journey was halfway through he would come out somehow improved, altered, stronger and better able to comport himself among his fellow citizens
(Phaedreaux, Phaedreaux, Phaedreaux, Phaedreaux)
Phaedreaux followed the ominous path, and after a very long while he thought he saw something golden and flowing and shining in the distance
(Golden and flowing and shining and)
Phaedreaux decided that whether or not his vision was only illusory, it was still worthwhile to continue on his indeterminate quest
(Indeterminate quest)
Phaedreaux reached his golden goal, which turned out to be a fountain full of the urine of unicorns from an age long before human beings ever existed (Ever existed... existed)
The mystical, magical fountain of unicorn urine anointed Phaedreaux's hair with the scent of violets and daffodils and asparagus
(sung/spoken)
He came upon a cave, and as he approached it a band of magical multicolored monkeys happily sped toward Phaedreaux as if he were the 201st Golden Banana (Golden Banana)
(spoken)
The pungent scent of violets and urine that flowed from Phaedreaux's shiny golden locks attracted the magical monkeys, who soon got firm erections.
The multicolored monkeys with their firm fluorescent penises penetrated Phaedreaux's eardrums and made him hear colors and emotions.
Phaedreaux's heart was opened like a secret locket that opened out and unfolded endlessly into endless unfolding, radiating a pungent yet fragrant odor to purify the bathroom universe.
(sung)
(Bathroom universe)
His face was flushed, and he felt a rush of chocolate screaming mountain stream lovers who hovered around and over his head, wondering why his hair was so fragrant and pungent
Phaedreaux closed his eyes and saw the truth that he had seen all there was for him to see and more, and that he had completed his quest
Phaedreaux felt a sad sense of satisfaction, but he had to acknowledge that he had changed, so he thanked the planet for unlocking some of her secrets unto him
(Thank you, Mother Earth
Thank you, Mother Earth
Thank you, Mother Earth
Thank you, Mother Earth)
And Phaedreaux was sad and dejected, bereft and broken, unspoken for, unable to think for himself or dream of better times
Phaedreaux
King Missile
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Lyrics by King Missile
(Why Are We) Trapped? A Good Hard Look All Things Everywhere And Another Political Poem Antimatter At Dave's Betrayal Takes Two Bloodletting Brains Will Explode Cheesecake Truck Chickens Clamsauce Clarity Transcending Choice Columbus Day Weekend Come Closer Commercial Damned If I Know Delores Despair Detachable Penis Dick Eating People Ed Empty Enjoy Your Tea Everybody Screams Inside Failure Farm Fish Fluting On The Hump Fourthly Francis Bacon Frightened And Freezing Garbage Party Gary And Melissa Get Down with the Funky Shit Get Into It (Roll Around in It) Glass Good Things Happiness Happy Hour Happy Note He Needed Heaven Heavy Holy Man Hemopheliac Of Love Hemophiliac of Love How Much Longer How To Remember Your Dreams I Dare to Hope I Wish I'm Sorry If Only Jesus Was Way Cool Jim Juniper Dog Knowledge Leather Clown Let's Have Sex Lies Life Listen To Me Lou Love You More Martin Scorsese Martin Scorsese (PG-13) Metanoia Monks Mr Johnson Mr. Pomerantz Mr. Story My Heart Is A Flower My Life My Lover My Personal Life Nietzsche Sneezes No Point Now Open Up Pain & Pleasure Pickaxe Real Men Royal Lunch Scotland Sensitive Artist Sex With You She Didn't Want Shit Sink So Happy Socks Still the One Stonehenge Take Me Home That Old Dog The Absolute The Adventures of Planky The Birds The Blood Song The Box The Boy Made Out of Bone China The Bunny Who Wanted To Be A Rat The Chosen The Evil Children The Fish That Played The Ponies The God The Indians The Love Song The Miracle Of Childbirth The Neither World The Party The Sandbox The Spanish Armada The Story Of Willy The Trees The Way To Salvation These People Things To Walk Among The Pigs Tour Diary: Louisville Up My Ass Water What If When She Closed Her Eyes Wind-Up Toys Wuss Ww3 Is A Giant Ice Cream Cone
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