LyricMeaning

Real Men
King Missile

(spoken)nJim and Steve and Greg all went over to Dave's house. They're real tough types: real men. It was just another boring lazy asshole Sunday afternoon, and they was all hungover, but Steve started strutting around the living room like Clint Eastwood and said loudly, Hell, I had—ain't had a drink all day, Dave. Got any whiskey left? Jim and Greg said, Yeah, whiskey all around! Dave said, Let's do shots! Everybody agreed this was the thing to do. Jim suggested that they keep drinking shots until only one man was left. I'll show you guys who's the real man here! Oh yeah? the others all said in unisorn—unison. You're full of shit, Jim. They finished two and a half bottles of Jack Daniel's; that's all the whiskey Dave had. They moved to vodka, everyone drinking the same number of shots, each one hoping to show the others that he was the real man. Then they ran out of vodka.nnThis is crazy! We can't just drink all day. That's not gonna prove anything. Let's lift weights to prove who's the real man. They went to Dave's basement, but Dave had forgotten that he had lent his weights to Steve's son Don, who was training for the 1996 Olympics—a real chip off the ol' block, that Don.nnLet's race to prove who's the real man, said Greg. They decided to race around the block, but since none of them made it around the whole way without puking, they dec— d-declared it a tie.nnLet's eat cheeseburgers and pizza to prove who's the real man. So they sent out for cheeseburgers and pizza, but everybody ate the same amount of food, and they all threw up again. They were having lots of fun, but who was the real man?nnSteve started banging his head against the wall and counting: One... two... three... four... five. They all joined in, but Dave was getting pissed off 'cause there was blood all over the wall. Let's get outta my house before it gets completely destroyed, said Dave. Let's go out and pick up women. Okay, said Steve, but first, let's jack off to prove we can come fast like real men. Yeah, and let's use sandpaper! said Greg. So they all did this as well.nnWhen they got to the bar, nobody would talk to them, let alone go home with them. Not a single woman they met was impressed by the fact that they were in the presence of men who had just jerked off with sandpaper. They must be lesbians, Steve speculated.nnSo the four of them went downtown to beat up people. They, uh, soon changed their mind about this. They realized they had to go the—to work the next day.nnThe next morning, they all got up together—they all got together at Jim's house and watched the football game. They decided to declare the contest a draw. They were all real men.nnOh, I fucked up the ending. Can I take it from, like, Steve spec—? Yeah, all right, well, this is how it went, then:nnThe next day they all got together at Jim's house and watched the football game. They drank and ate pretzels and potato chips and laughed and laughed over all the fun they had had the day before. They decided to declare the contest a draw. They were all real men.


  Purchase "Real Men"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "Real Men" Video   Play Spotify "Real Men" Song   View Wikipedia "Real Men" Entry   Receive Emails for Future King Missile Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "Real Men"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You

Loading...

Lyrics by King Missile

  (Why Are We) Trapped?   A Good Hard Look   All Things Everywhere   And   Another Political Poem   Antimatter   At Dave's   Betrayal Takes Two   Bloodletting   Brains Will Explode   Cheesecake Truck   Chickens   Clamsauce   Clarity Transcending Choice   Columbus Day Weekend   Come Closer   Commercial   Damned If I Know   Delores   Despair   Detachable Penis   Dick   Eating People   Ed   Empty   Enjoy Your Tea   Everybody Screams Inside   Failure   Farm   Fish   Fluting On The Hump   Fourthly   Francis Bacon   Frightened And Freezing   Garbage Party   Gary And Melissa   Get Down with the Funky Shit   Get Into It (Roll Around in It)   Glass   Good Things   Happiness   Happy Hour   Happy Note   He Needed   Heaven   Heavy Holy Man   Hemopheliac Of Love   Hemophiliac of Love   How Much Longer   How To Remember Your Dreams   I Dare to Hope   I Wish   I'm Sorry   If Only   Jesus Was Way Cool   Jim   Juniper Dog   Knowledge   Leather Clown   Let's Have Sex   Lies   Life   Listen To Me   Lou   Love You More   Martin Scorsese   Martin Scorsese (PG-13)   Metanoia   Monks   Mr Johnson   Mr. Pomerantz   Mr. Story   My Heart Is A Flower   My Life   My Lover   My Personal Life   Nietzsche Sneezes   No Point   Now   Open Up   Pain & Pleasure   Phaedreaux   Pickaxe   Royal Lunch   Scotland   Sensitive Artist   Sex With You   She Didn't Want   Shit   Sink   So Happy   Socks   Still the One   Stonehenge   Take Me Home   That Old Dog   The Absolute   The Adventures of Planky   The Birds   The Blood Song   The Box   The Boy Made Out of Bone China   The Bunny Who Wanted To Be A Rat   The Chosen   The Evil Children   The Fish That Played The Ponies   The God   The Indians   The Love Song   The Miracle Of Childbirth   The Neither World   The Party   The Sandbox   The Spanish Armada   The Story Of Willy   The Trees   The Way To Salvation   These People   Things   To Walk Among The Pigs   Tour Diary: Louisville   Up My Ass   Water   What If   When She Closed Her Eyes   Wind-Up Toys   Wuss   Ww3 Is A Giant Ice Cream Cone

Related Songs

  Real Men - The Jazz Butcher  Real Men - Pansy Division  Real Men - Tori Amos  Real Men - Amos Tori  Real Men - Joe Jackson  Real Men - Billy Dean  Real Men - Tom Hooker  Real Men Cry - Lost Dogs  Real Good Men - Emilyn Brodsky  Real Men [Original Demo] - Joe Jackson  Real Men Love Jesus - Michael Ray  The Shamemen - Danielle Dax  Men, Men, Men - Yoko Ono  Real Men Hunt In Packs - Future of the Left  A Job For Real Men - Adhesive  Of Mice & Men - Real - Of Mice & Men  The Whisperers - Roger Taylor  House Of Cards - Farewell from the Gallows  Be A Man - Tony Vincent  16 Men Till There's No Men Left...  Magic Muscles - Magic Weapon  Back Here In Beanoland...  Back Here In Beanoland - Deacon Blue  A Womens Worth (remix) - Alicia Keys  Wicked Boy - Alex G  Men Kill Men - eCID  Life I've Led - The Hollies  Men - The Forester Sisters  Men - Charly McClain  Men - Money in the Banana Stand  Men - The Dodos  Men - Various Artists  Men - Loudon Wainwright III  Men - Forester Sisters  A Woman's Worth (Remix) - Alicia Keys  Men Of Steel - Cypress Hill  Real, Real, Real - Jesus Jones  Real Real Real - Jesus Jones  Real,real,real - Jesus Jones  Tragic - Erasure  The Glorious Death - Xerath  Men of Steel - Ice Cube  Men Of Steel - B-Real  Men Of Steel - Krs-One  Devious Nature - Lisa Dal Bello  Devious Nature - Dalbello  I Love Men - Eartha Kitt  Bunco Men - Guided by Voices  No More Fighting - Drunksouls  Good Luck With Your Book - Usurp Synapse  Kill The Rock Stars - NOFX  Do Something Real - Robert Pollard  That's Real - AZ  Wehrmacht - Sabaton  Thundersteel - Riot  Thundersteel (Live) - Riot  Frozen [DJ Rib Remix] - Celldweller  Frozen - Celldweller  Kill Rocks Stars - NOFX  Evil That Men Do - Above the Law  Real Real - Nina Simone  Dance Like Fire...  Dance Like Fire - Ben Harper  Frozen (Celldweller vs. Blue Stahli) - Celldweller  Wild Wild Young Men - Ruth Brown  If He Don't - Jacqui Abbott  Stranger Ways - Anberlin  Real - Rainbirds  Pointless Objection - Agretator  Black Widow - Chantal Claret  True Love's A Blessing - Lynn Anderson  True Love's A Blessing - Lynn Anderson  Wild Men From The Mountains - Black Oak Arkansas  Men Will Be Men - Suzanne Vega  Adora Vivos - Woods Of Ypres  Boobs, Boobs, Boobs - David Tanny  Ciggie Time - Cult  IV - Perfect Pussy  Bunco Men - Elf God - Guided by Voices  Double Shot Of John Wayne - Clay Walker  Kill Rock Stars - NOFX  Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 1 - TISM  Cod'ine - Buffy Sainte-Marie  Quite a Few Men - Royal Blood  Ciggie Time - The Cult  My Religion's Not Old-Fashioned - Hank Snow  Evil Son - The Rumour Said Fire  Named After Rocky - Amplifier  Nature Boy - Wild Beasts  The Void - Abstract Rapture  Built To Grind - Agoraphobic Nosebleed  Shame on the Moon...  Shame on the Moon - Rodney Crowell  All The King's Horses (And All The King's Men)...  Chibulitude (Trained To Kill) - Fate  Pinocchio Story - Kanye West  Pinocchio Story (Live) - Kanye West  Pinocchio Story (Freestyle Live From Singapore)...  Close Your Eyes - Suicide Commando  My Religion's Not Old Fashioned (But It's Real Gen...  She Wears He-Harem - Shudder To Think  The Opposite Viewed In Real Time...  Built To Grind - Agoraphobic Nosebleed  Real Child Of Hell - X  Motownphilly - Various Artists  Abracadavre - Elena Siegman  Stumble - Elbow  Married Men - Bette Midler  Low Places - Cold World  Rhythm Of The Real Thing - Kirsty Maccoll  Motownphilly - 112  Motownphilly (Remix Radio Edit) - Boyz II Men  Redrum - Zilla & Grilly   Motown Philly (Remix Radio Edit) - Boyz II Men  Pieces of A Man - SableAlexis  Off Our Backs - Men  Who Am I to Feel So Free - Men  Fiddler on the Roof/To Life - Men  Credit Card Babie$ - Men  Blue Town - Men  Cry - Men  Mona Lisa - Julio Iglesias  Marching Through The Wilderness - David Byrne  Marching Through The Wilderness (Charanga) 4:30...  Blues Man - Stephen Stills  The Alien Song (with Exene Cervernkova)...  A Good Heart - Elton John  Don't Lie - Chris Brown  Hearz Of Men - 2pac  Welcome To The Real World - Gun  Women Lie, Men Lie - Yo Gotti  Heartz of Men - Amuru Shakur  Heartz Of Men - 2 Pac  Heartz Of Men (Nu-Mixx) - 2Pac  Heartz Of Man - 2Pac  Heartz Of Man - Tupac  Heartz Of Men (Live) - 2Pac  Heartz Of Men - 2Pac  Heartz of Men - Tupac  This Faith - Front Line Assembly  We Will Rise - Lowkey  The Night - Australian Crawl  Vampire - Drop Out Venus  Real Real Real [The Real Pop Mix] - Jesus Jones  Motownphilly (Quiet Storm version) - Boyz II Men  Dream (Intro) - Cold Legistics  I Thought Of God - Porter Wagoner  Calling Jupiter - Ruth Ruth  Real Recognizes Real - Icepick  Real To Real - Simple Minds  Real Real Sweet - Meiko  Real Recognize Real - Maino  Real Recognize Real - Waka Flocka Flame  Real Real Gone - Van Morrison  Real Recognize Real - Lupe Fiasco  Women Men - Z-Ro  Por Amarte Tanto - Guillermo Davila  Why Should I - Haves and Haves  Mona Lisa - Brian Setzer  Geese - Joshua James  Days of Old - Eric Clapton  Bitter Chill - Edwin McCain  I Won't Feel Bad - Simply Red  Marching Through the Wilderness (Charanga)...  Herojuana - NOFX  Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron - The Royal Guardsmen  Man Woman (Yin & Yang) - Lazyboy  Lazarus - Hacride  We Are All Dying - Vehemence  Roger Dead - Donovan James  Real - The Goo Goo Dolls  Real - Sam Bisbee  Real - Macy Gray  Real - Dogs Die in Hot Cars  Real - Bumblefoot  Real - Roxanne Emery  Real - Sizzla  Real - Jo Davidson  Real - Clay Walker  Real - Cause and Effect  Real - Mountain Man  Real - Fountain Of Tears  Real - Mira  Real - Truth Hurts  Real - Indiana Bible College  Real - Common  Real - Plumb  Real - Shinee  Real - Madlib  Real - Natasha Thomas  Real? - Ice-T  Real - Refused  Real - James Wesley  Real - A.N.I.M.A.L.  Real - Meek Mill  Real - Ednita Nazario  Real - GGFH  Real - Gateway Worship  Real - Freddie Gibbs  Real - Goo Goo Dolls
  Please consider supporting this site by Clicking Here and Bookmarking whenever you search and shop Amazon. It costs you nothing but it supports us and gives us credit and we appreciate it greatly.